Hear No Evil
by BlueSea14
Summary: After over a hundred years alone, a deaf vampire Bella finds the Cullen family. With no memory of her human past, and no way to communicate with the world, how can they help her? Canon.
1. Beginning

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N – The inspiration for this story came out of nowhere and hit me full on in the face. I really don't know why I thought it up – it must be my crazy imagination! Most of the A/N will be on the bottom instead of up here. Now, on with the story!**_

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"_In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun…_

_Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed_

_This world you must have crossed, you said…"_

_**"Boston" by Augustana**_

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**Chapter 1 – Beginning**

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Boston - 1840

All I had known was pain. Pain and more pain, crushing down on me like waves of agony, an ocean of cruelty bearing down on my fragile body. I felt the bones snap and reform, my muscles tear and reshape, everything enhancing to a painful level. Nothing was safe anymore, the world was upside down and twisted and it hurt so bad that I never thought I'd get away from it…

And then it stopped.

My eyes flew open – they had been clenched so tight, trying to offer some kind of relief to that all-encompassing pain. There had been no relief from the pain, however small it might have been, from keeping my eyes squeezed shut.

When I let my eyes drift open, I was taken aback by the brightness of the strange room I was in. Where was I, that this place was so bright and open? I could feel wind tugging at my hair, even though it was no more than a soft breeze – there was so much light coming from the opening that I had to turn away.

The inside of this place was much dimmer, even though sunlight reflected off the smooth stone surface. It was probably only a few feet deep, but there was something about it that felt ominous. I didn't like this place – so why was I here?

That was the question, wasn't it? I didn't know all that much about myself, come to think of it. There was something missing in my mind, some key piece of information that I knew I had to know, that I knew was desperately important. But I couldn't remember it.

My fingers ran over my thighs, hoping to find something of use on the clothing that I wore. The heavy dress, with a floor-length skirt and formal top, certainly didn't look like everyday wear. But how was I to know what everyone wore? I could barely remember my own name.

Like a shadow of memory, it came to the front of my mind as my hands ran around my back and felt the tight laces of my corset under the gown. _Isabella,_ my mind murmured my name to me, _Isabella, Bella, Bella Swan…_

Me, Bella…it fit, and it seemed right. I supposed I had a good enough memory to be able to remember such things as my own name after that agonizing torture was through. But that didn't help me in the long run, for I wasn't receiving hints about anything else.

I looked down at my dress, the dark blue fabric rumpled and wrinkled from what appeared to be days of tossing and turning in the grips of some unimaginable torture. Of course, to me it wasn't unimaginable. I had lived through it.

The dress had a high throat; I felt like it was choking me already, somehow. The lace around my neck bothered me; without thinking, I reached up and tore the collar, exposing only the column of my throat to the air. The burn in the back of my throat didn't decrease in the slightest.

It scared me that this feeling of gnawing hunger wouldn't leave. Touching my feet, I noted that they were enclosed in old, worn black boots and pushed myself off the ground and to my feet. Then I stopped and stared at my hands, then the ground, before crouching back down.

I shoved my skirts out of the way as I leaned forward, observing with incredulity that my hands had left imprints in the stone. Prodding the floor gently with my finger, I noted that it certainly didn't seem soft or squishy – pressing harder, I was terrified to find my finger making a dent in the stone.

My jaw opened and I let out a strangled noise of shock – but I couldn't hear it. Even more panicked, I clapped my hands in front of my face. Again, nothing. No sound reached my ears. I brushed my hands over them frantically and tried to make noise, to hear myself, but there was no sound.

I could hear nothing.

That was what I didn't remember! Despite the panic at discovering that I was…deaf, deaf was the word…I felt my lips spread into a smile. At least I knew what was wrong – I couldn't get a nagging feeling on any other secrets I had managed to hide from myself.

But now was not the time; I wiped my smile away quickly as I focused on the handprints in the floor. They weren't supposed to be there; I knew there were other people outside of this strange room, but they mustn't know about this. It was far too abnormal for any human…

So what did that make me? I wasn't certain, not in the least. I couldn't be human, because I just knew – _knew_ – that leaving handprints in solid stone was not normal. I knew in the same way that I knew what I was wearing was a dress, clothing, and that I should have been able to make noises from my mouth but couldn't create them and couldn't hear them.

Lifting my hand, I looked at it, considering what to do. Then I glanced back at the ground. Hand. Ground. Hand. Reaching forward, I applied pressure and moved my hand over the ground – I erased the obvious handprints, leaving behind a rough spot in the stone.

Turning around, I looked out of the strange room, and saw nothing but green. Bright and dark, it was a forest of plant life. So this was a cave, then. The burning in my throat distracted me from the bright sunlight and brilliant forest.

What was it that I craved? Why did I want something that would pour down my throat like liquid, but tasted so much sweeter, so much better? I sighed deeply, feeling my lungs fill with air and then release – but it didn't make me feel anything, like taking in air normally would.

But I did catch the faintest whiff of something that smelled absolutely incredible.

My legs contracted, pulling me into a catlike crouch; with my hands poised on the ground, ready to push off and into prey, I let my eyes lazily drift shut and nosed my way around the air, trying to catch that scent again.

In the back of my mind, I realized that this action was entirely too predatory for my liking; I didn't understand what I was doing, and it scared me very badly that I couldn't seem to stop myself. But a part of me longed for that scent – I wanted it badly, and I would have it.

It was everywhere. How I could not have smelled it before, I would never understand – but I could now, and I realized that the scent I wanted so badly was all over the cave I was standing in. My eyes shot open as I eagerly looked for what I wanted.

It was bright. And on the walls, the ceiling, the floor…the spot I had indented the ground at was clean, but all around, there was bright, sticky _something_ splashed all over, like something was torn and tossed about.

A handprint was streaked against the entrance, like someone had tried to escape. In my mind's eye, I saw a pale, slim-fingered hand stretched across the stone before it was violently yanked back, more splashes of blood joining those on the floor.

The scene of horror in my mind was utterly silent. There was no noise, nothing to tell me who had been here – no screams to match to other voices – and no evidence of anything foul. No evidence of anything strange, or odd in this cave. And if there was noise, I couldn't hear it.

My breathing was coming heavy now, as I glanced around frantically, taking in the small blood splatters that were tracked around the floor. Yes, the cave was completely clean and void of anything unnatural.

Except me.

With trembling fingers, I stretched my hand up to the side of my face, running my fingers over my forehead, cheeks, chin…my right hand came away dotted with the same dried blood that was stuck to the cavern.

My entire body shook as I ran my hands across my face, feeling more blood, before continuing to the upsweep of hair that was coming loose from its elegant hairstyle, held in place underneath a bonnet that was loose and had spots of the dried blood on the outside. The loose strands were knotted with blood, stuck together and dried.

A faint memory, a whisper of something, came to mind. I saw words on a note, fire burning bright – but one word in elegant script, of someone that I had to have known, stuck out in my blurred images of memory.

My knees felt weak and I sunk to the floor as my hand found a mark on my neck – just slightly different from the rest of my skin, barely noticeable except for the fact that my hands were so sensitive. Indentations spaced like teeth. Exactly like teeth.

_Vampire._

I felt like laughing at the absurdity of it. Vampires couldn't be real – I didn't even remember learning about them and I knew that they couldn't be real. But I looked at my hands, the blood, and the mark on the floor. What if…I lifted my hand to my face and sniffed the dried blood.

No, there was no attraction there, was there? I laughed at my silliness, just a dry huff of air that I felt come out of my mouth. My vocal cords weren't vibrating – I couldn't feel the vibrations. So I was deaf and mute, then.

But the thirst I could feel raging in my throat was still alive and making me weaken. Against my will, I was soon crouching again, and edging out towards the entrance to the cave.

My speed astonished me. I could see everything as clearly as if I was walking, but I could felt the wind whip by at amazing speeds, and could just tell that I was moving far to fast for any animal to see. The birds in flight above my head seemed frozen on air as I sped by.

Exhilarating. I loved it, much more than I should – because I as speeding towards something. The scent of it was being carried right into my face on the breeze, and I had little choice but to obey the call and the overwhelming instinct urges to _bite_ something…

My body came to an abrupt halt among the trees. I could see a path just beyond the foliage, and walking along as casually as could be were a couple, a man and a woman.

The man wore clothes just as nice as mine, and the lady wore a dress incredibly similar to mine in a shade that made something inside me purr in contentment, for it was the same color as the splashes inside the cave. I knew now what it was that I wanted so badly.

Blood.

I was truly a vampire, then, wasn't I? An undead creature, a monster bent on drinking the blood of human beings: I felt sick to my stomach, but there was no way for me to resist the thirst. I was alone in this world, unable to understand what the two were even saying – I saw their lips move, but heard no sound.

They were feet away, just barely a few seconds from the end of their lives. My fingers curled over the branch between my hands; it broke. I was too strong – I knew I would have to exercise caution, always, to make certain that I could control myself around humans – prey.

I didn't want to do this. I wanted to run away, run home and hide in my room – but I didn't know where home was. I didn't know what my room was like. I couldn't even remember the name of the forest I was in, where I was in the world…who was I to deny my thirst?

What could I possibly deny it for? There was no reason to. I edged closer, my lips curving into a smile at the sight of the man moving in front of his lady, both of them gazing around in concern. Their lips moved, but their message passed unheard.

I stepped out of the trees in front of the couple, muscles tight and ready to leap forward. In my head, I was planning the strategy to take out the three humans…wait.

Three?

My eyes locked on the infant baby, swaddled in cloth in the woman's arms. This was a married couple walking in the woods with their newborn daughter – a baby girl, a new life ready and waiting to start.

The couple looked startled to see me, but the smiles on their faces were hesitantly welcome. The man stepped forward, cautious – and he drew back sharply when I locked eyes with him, letting the loose strands of hair swing away from my eyes as I lifted my head.

I wondered what they saw in my eyes or my face that made them look so terrified, but the thirst was driving itself hard into my throat – my mouth felt dry, like a desert in summer, and I could feel the hunger roaring inside me. It demanded that I kill the two people in front of me, and their daughter.

That little baby girl…I could not kill her. I wouldn't give in to what my body demanded, no matter what it took out of me. I couldn't take the life of such a young girl, so full of hope and promise and life – where I now had no life at all. I was 'undead'; I was likely immortal if I knew anything about vampires.

The strength of will that it took to make me leave behind the three in the woods was something that I could hardly grasp in my own mind. I saw them in front of me, and then I was suddenly running, as fast and as far as I possibly could.

Trees flashed by at high speeds; the wind threw the rest of my hair out of its upsweep and it trailed long down my back, free and loose. My bonnet flew away into the air behind me, left far behind. I raced, far from the ones I had wanted to kill.

Kill. The word rang in my mind. I couldn't remember anything and I had wanted to murder those three because of the thirst I felt. It was surreal and terrifying; I wanted to cry, to weep and wail and bemoan my fate, but I couldn't express myself like that. I simply wasn't able to.

The tears pushed at my eyes, but they didn't come, and I felt nothing but anger swamping me. Anger at myself, for wanting to feast on the blood of that small family: anger at the family for being there: anger that I was what I was: anger that I was alone.

Fury radiated inside me like a poison. It swelled and grew and blossomed until I felt it break and I collapsed to the ground, spent and weak. I was far too tired to move any further, and certainly too weak to resist any more.

I prayed that no human would come by. For a time, it seemed to work; I was alone, panting and trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. Not a single idea came to me in all that time. I didn't even know how long I sat there, alone.

My strength was nonexistent when I felt vibrations in my hands and he scent of a human drifted along the wind, right under my nose. I was far too weak to resist springing to my feet and darting out after the single lone human who was wandering in the woods.

And I couldn't deny the joy that spread through me when that sweet, rich blood was pouring down my throat.

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_**A/N – I don't think there's really all that much for me to say, but I do think I'm going to be rationalizing having Bella give in to the thirst for blood. First of all, she doesn't remember much about her human life – a bit like Alice, but not quite. I'll be getting to the story behind Bella being changed later on in the fic, so I can't reveal too much now except that Bella went through something traumatic before her change that caused her memories to wipe out before she even became bitten. It carried over into her change. **_

_**Also, yes she is deaf. No, she is not actually mute – she just thinks she is because her vocal cords haven't had time to work yet because she never used them when she was human. They are still functioning and she was born being able to use them. However, she was born deaf and so the hearing cannot be corrected – she simply doesn't have the parts of the ear necessary to hear. **_

_**That's the way of the story before this. I'm afraid I don't know much sign language, but hopefully when I get to Bella 'talking' you'll understand what I mean by her 'talking' – I have a key, don't worry! I just didn't put it up here because I wanted to start the story, and Bella isn't really able to talk to anyone yet because she doesn't remember sign language. I'm not even sure if it was already created back then or not…if you have any information to help me, I would gladly receive it! As much as I would love to hear what you think of this so far! Sorry the chapter's so short – I think they'll be getting longer in places, but I have a lot to cover. Thanks for reading!**_


	2. Unknown

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

**_A/N – I was surprised by the response for the first chapter! Thank you all! Also, I would like to note that I know very little about the time period that I created Bella's change in (shame on me, I know!) so please forgive any errors I make in later chapters and inform me of my mistakes! Thank you, and I'm sorry this update took so long!_**

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"_In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun…_

_Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed_

_This world you must have crossed, you said…"_

_**"Boston" by Augustana**_

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**Chapter 2 – Unknown**

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Unknown Place(s) – Unknown Time(s)

The man wandering in the woods wasn't my last kill. After tasting that sweet blood, there was no way I could deny it any more. It tasted so wonderful that I could think of no words to describe it.

I stalked my prey through the forests, never straying into more populated areas. As much as I craved the blood, I was also aware of the fact that I would go on a rampage if I came near a largely populated area of them. It might be my diet, but I wasn't going to cave completely like that.

Every day was a struggle. I wanted to kill each human I ran across, and I constantly tried to hold back. But every time I skipped over one human – or a couple, or children – I had to take the next one I found. The thirst was undeniable after forcing myself away from one human.

A part of me began to see them as less than people, even as I tried to remember that they had lives of their own. It took over my mind slowly, but the first chisel to the block of my reasoning was that I couldn't tell what a 'life' was.

Time and again I tried to remember things, but whatever was in my past before I woke up in that cave was a mystery despite my best efforts. I had no lead to start with, no idea how to draw memories from my own mind, and no one I could converse with.

Communication was a large part of the problem. It became easier and easier to see humans as animals when I had no way to talk to them, when I had no idea what they were trying to say – or scream – before my teeth tore through their flimsy skin and they were dead.

On top of that, as time went by all I had was the nagging feeling that I wouldn't want to kill humans. It was fading by the day, and I only tried to keep it alive because it was the faintest connection to my past, a thin line that offered a beacon of hope to me.

My diet was my life. I didn't venture into any towns; I steered clear of cities. I covered land from coast to coast, but never tried to swim. It took several daring tries on my part to discover that I didn't need to breathe, but in the end I kept the habit. It helped me hunt.

It was easiest, however, to press my hands to the ground and feel the prey coming my way. I could run lightening fast around them, and then find a spot to lurk and await their arrival. With my palms flat on the ground, I felt like I could see for miles around.

Every rock, every tree, every shrub and animal that walked on the earth within a certain distance of me, I could feel. Footsteps and vibrations rang through the ground to my hands. When my boots collapsed into shreds once after I ran, I discovered that my feet couldn't do the same; wandering barefoot, I still had to bend to the ground to feel my surroundings.

After the first kill, I decided that there had to be a way to mask what I had done. From then on, I disguised the dead humans, creating a scene of attack by a wild animal of some kind. Occasionally they fell from a rocky precipice, or drowned in a river – with a nasty tear on their skin somewhere, of course, where I drank and then tore at the corpse to disguise my teeth marks.

I also never stayed in the same area after I had taken a life. I moved well out of the range of my last kill, perhaps two or three radii away. The radius of the space I could feel was very large, but it only took half a day to get at least three spaces away.

The sense wasn't like a map – I couldn't remember if I had been in a particular area before or not, but I had sensed some of my old kills once or twice and I knew that I had circled around. It just told me where everything was at a particular time and then took it away after a while. I had to touch the ground several times while pursing prey.

I noticed time pass by as the clothes humans wore changed. Women no longer wore dresses like mine; men wore slightly different pants and jackets. Over time, the clothing changed so drastically that I felt outdated, ancient.

It proved to me that I was immortal after all; I had never seen my face, but I knew that I was the same. My skin felt the same, my fingers sensitive enough to find no wrinkles in the skin. When my hands were dirty, I washed them off and saw nothing different about them – no marks, darkened skin, or lines.

Occasionally, I hunted in open lands with much sunlight. The glittering effect on my skin was intense to my eyes, brighter than anything I had ever seen. The first time I saw the effect, I was shocked and ran away, hiding in a tree, in the shade. I was scared, and still a little bit fearful. I never went in the sun if I could help it.

Eventually, the open spaces became more and more crowded and I was forced to skulk in alleys of cities. Humans were odd; there were giant signs with strange symbols on them, and buildings with entrances in colors that I could see crystal-clear with my eyesight, but were dirty, smog- and smoke-ridden.

And the colors! Human clothing took on shades that I had observed in the most beautiful settings in nature – they looked unnatural on the people I looked to as food, uncommon and strange. The most beautiful plants in those shades existed deep in forests, naturally, but the clothes that humans wore...nothing was natural about them.

I also couldn't grasp the way they moved their mouths – I couldn't let out sounds, couldn't say a single word. But I could literally feel the vibrations in the air from thousands of human throats when I stepped foot in a city, pressure on my ears that wouldn't transmit to my brain.

Once or twice I tried making noise in the forest – I felt small vibrations when my fingers were pressed to my throat, but I didn't know what I was saying, or even if I was saying anything. I didn't understand the noises that humans made, the way they communicated, and I had no way to make my thoughts known to them.

I was isolated, alone, in a sea of prey that didn't know I existed until just before death came to them, courtesy of me. All I looked for from them was food; once I fed on a human, I ran from that city and kept moving until I was thirsty once more. The cycle repeated endlessly.

It was all I knew, all I could hope to accomplish in my life. No one knew how to talk to me; sometimes I 'played' with my food, out in a forest where I knew no one was around for as far as my sense radius stretched. I tried to understand what they said to me, but each and every time thirst won out and I attacked.

Whenever I let myself do that, it was always strange to see the persons' reaction. Sometimes water sprang from their eyes – I was always curious about that. What did it mean? Other times blood rushed to their faces and their mouths opened wide, and the pressure on my ears grew very strong. I always attacked quickly when that happened.

The first time I fed from an animal was out of curiosity. Humans smelled absolutely delicious, but the crazy clothing they wore now made me less eager to approach them – the clothing seemed to signify something important to them.

I saw humans with dirty, unwashed clothes and others wearing very little, and still others with as much as they could. It meant something to them, and I began to fret about killing one of them. What if that particular outfit meant the human was important? What if people began to hunt for a killer? I would be in danger.

I still had no knowledge about my own defenses. Was I invulnerable to human weapons, or could I be killed as easily as any human? Was there a hunter out there who could take me down? I didn't know, and I wasn't eager to find out.

That was when I turned to animals. What were they like? None had ever particularly stood out to me before – I always concentrated on humans. Animal scents were neutral and all the same compared to a human.

It was a lot harder than I thought to catch an animal – I could sense them easily enough, padding around on the ground. But some of them went up trees, and then the vibrations were less readable.

I did manage to run across a large, brown furry creature, one with claws and a loud mouth-sound that shook the trees. I had to struggle to take it down – it fought back, slashing at me with its claws. It was at least three times my size, and tore a small strip off the front bottom of my gown before I leapt and bit it.

I was a lot stronger than the animal along with being much faster – a claw had raked my shin when it tore my skirt, but instead of hurting me, the claw had been broken. I hadn't even felt it. The body of the dead creature was left in a quarry; we had been high in a large mountain range, on top of a rather large cliff. Disposal of the body was a simple task.

The challenge was what shook my habit of going after humans. It was absurdly simple to take one of them down, but an animal like that large, furry one I had fought with...it was exhilarating and I felt a sense of pride after I had killed it, even though I believed that I hadn't been in too much danger.

After that excursion, I began to hunt humans only when I was near large cities, and animals when I became thirsty while out in the more natural wilderness. It was hard, however, to feed off of an animal after drinking from a human – I took more humans than animals.

I only hunted animals when I could run across the fighters – the large animals that stalked small animals made very good targets. They were predators too, and they fought with me when I attacked. They offered a certain thrill that humans couldn't give.

I played with them, of course. I could move beyond their level of comprehension, but that took away the pleasurable satisfaction that came only from killing an animal. Moving at a much slower speed than I usually did, I wrestled with the giant furry beasts, and the ones that moved lithely in mountains with retractable claws became partners in silent snarling, dodging and clawing matches.

It was only silent on my part, however; I felt the vibrations from their roars in the air, and when my hands touched the ground as I let myself sink into a deep crouch, I could feel how their feet moved against the ground and modeled myself after them. I learned from these other predators, and took the challenge to others of their kind in my hunts.

Sometimes I felt other predators come on the radius of my sense, moving at a speed that was incredibly fast. It was a speed that I could match. Instantly they posed a threat, and were far enough away that I could avoid them.

Taking leaves out of a few of my sparring partners – or prey's – books, I moved fast to avoid what was surely a larger predator, one that would take me out. The first animal I saw would become a bath – a bloodbath.

With their blood on me, I flew to the trees or hid myself somewhere and froze in place, halting my breathing to keep myself hidden. Whether the predators knew I was there or not, they passed by a few hundred trees away from me, leaving me alone.

Then I would leave my tree and head to the nearest water source, throw myself in to wash the blood away, and then move on as fast as I could to get out of the area just in case the fast-moving creature came back for me, or to double-check the land I had been on.

My entire life was centered on getting from place to place and staying out of other creatures' observations. I didn't want anything to find me – despite however long I had been alive, I still had no idea if I was truly invincible or not.

It wasn't as if there was a way for me to communicate with anyone and ask if I truly was invulnerable. I didn't want to test anything – who knew what I might do to myself and possibly have to live with? With caution was the best way for me to continue living.

Despite things having been figured out as I went, there was a hole in my unbeating heart that couldn't be filled. I didn't understand what it was, or why I felt like I had to find something. There was no reference point for this 'lost' thing that I needed, and eventually it became a nagging in the back of my mind, never named.

* * *

La Push – 2007

The huge ocean stretched out before me, rocky coastline to either side. To my back, beautiful greenery loomed in the mists. I had gone just a little bit further than I had the last time I was out here, and as a result ran across this wonderfully dark place.

Turning my back to the large, endless water that reached out from my feet, I looked to the trees for a minute, reveling in the peaceful feel of the place. Even though there was always silence surrounding me, this just felt so calm, looked so serene, that I felt at peace looking at it.

But there was something about the place that was off. There was a burnt scent lingering on the air, something that I couldn't identify or name. I felt no fear about it, however, having nothing to attach to the scent. I didn't know what was making it, but I was almost positive that it wasn't dangerous. Wouldn't it have attacked already if it was?

Bending my knees and stretching one leg out, nearly straight, I placed my palms on the ground and closed my eyes feeling the vibrations in the earth, the tree roots going deep in the ground. There were numerous life forms, plant and animal alike, that lived in these forests. I could sense them moving around in peace.

So they were safe. But was I? There was just something that made me not want to relax quite yet, and so I stood and began to run through the trees. The wet air, a light drizzle, caused my hair to stick to my face, whipping around in tangled ropes and trailing all the way down my back.

My gown's skirt was little more than ragged strips of cloth, all different lengths and plastering to my legs from the rain. Their original color was long gone, all the cloth now a similar mold-like color. It helped me blend in with my surroundings, so I didn't care about the fabric in the least.

The corset had been slightly loose about my waist, but I had tightened the strings so it fit better and held the main part of my skirt – there was a section that reached about halfway down my thighs which was still whole and untattered. My sleeves were worn out now, torn in several places and hanging on by threads at one shoulder.

The rainwater was soaking through all of the cloth wrapped around my body. I had expected my clothing to fall apart around me a long time ago – I didn't understand how it stayed together.

Sometimes it even seemed like my gown was mending itself around me, but those 'stitches' always fell apart whenever I was no longer in rainy or humid areas. I didn't understand it, and there was no one I could ask.

My running took me past strange buildings, ones that I couldn't remember the names of. Sniffing the air several times, I caught a whiff of that scent that I couldn't name or place, the one that was starting to seem either foreboding or friendly – I was out of touch with which was which.

Suddenly, I ran across an air current that was loaded down with the burning scent; frightened, I darted into an air current that was running in the opposite direction. No longer able to smell the overwhelming odor, I moved forward a bit more and came across one of the buildings.

It was standing alone, trees all around. It looked like any other – white, clear squares cut out in rectangular shapes, very large, and with one of those human inventions made of metal that humans sit in and it moves.

The strange metal monster sitting outside of this house was silver and looked both new and old in different places. A cobbled-together creation – likely a human had done it himself or herself, like I had noticed several do once in a city I had to travel through. There was something that set this building apart, however.

It had the scent all around, permeating it. The house was the scent, or so it seemed.

Curious, I pressed a hand to the ground underneath me. There were footsteps – a human was inside: just one, all alone. I ran around the strange structure and came upon a rectangle in the back, one of the ones that opened and humans walked through to the inside or outside.

Reaching out, I gave the door a light nudge and it swung open easily. The slab of wood humans pushed or pulled to go through to the inside of any structure moved without much effort on my part.

Peeking in, I stepped forward slightly when I saw the human standing at a long, white counter. She had a long, sharp metal wand in her hand that she was cutting something into pieces with. Human food: she was going to eat, I assumed.

I felt vibrations in the air, just slight little ones, but I had grown used to knowing what they meant. She was talking out loud – I wondered who she was talking to. Maybe she thought I could hear her? Stepping forward, I frowned and tried to figure out how to communicate with her. Excitement built up in me at the prospect of someone understanding me.

Humans were very fragile compared to me, as I had learned time over time when I thought I was being careful. I had to make sure I was extra gentle, especially since I wasn't trying to drink from this girl. I had already fed on a nice fighting animal, and wouldn't be thirsty again for a long while. Her scent was tempting, but I just wasn't thirsty yet.

As gently as I could, I let my hand drift onto her shoulder. Her hair was long and very dark, and the side of her cheek that I could see, her skin, was a slightly dark-tinted color. She was very beautiful, as I had seen from the doorway, and I wondered who she was.

Her clothes were not the oddest that I had ever seen; at least she had a skirt, even if it wasn't a proper gown. But it was made of a rough blue fabric, hit her ankles, and she had no corset – instead, she had something that had no sleeves and a low collar on, skin-tight and ending just above the waist of her skirt.

She was startled when my hand landed on her bare shoulder – whipping around faster than I had seen any human do before, she had her back pressed against the counter and the knife pointed at me very quickly. I pulled my hand away and jumped back, crouching slightly.

Three long scars marred the other side of her face, twisting her mouth in a permanent grimace, disfiguring her face; they were deep, dark and painful to look at. My mouth fell open in shock – who had done this to her? Why?

And was I next?

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**_A/N – I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! If you don't think it's plausible that Bella has wandered around for so long, sorry but I tried to make it seem as possible as... well, possible. :) Yes, she did meet Emily here and yes; I did send her straight into La Push, and yes; the werewolves are already...werewolves. Poor Jake, he had to go through it all alone... Oh, and yes – the Cullens are also in Forks. I would also like to add that the timeline is slightly different: the Cullen siblings are all in school, and the La Push werewolf pack is all present and accounted for as wolves._**

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	3. Run In

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**A/N – Thank you for your reviews and help! I'm hopeful that you'll enjoy this chapter! **_

* * *

"_In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun…_

_Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed_

_This world you must have crossed, you said…"_

_**"Boston" by Augustana**_

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**Chapter 3 – Run In**

* * *

La Push – 2007

Immediately, I grew fearful about what could live in this house. When I had been close to her, I noticed that her scent wasn't the one that I had smelled in this area – what kind of creature lived here? What had done this to her?

Her mouth was open and moving, the vibrations growing stronger. She was getting louder, then. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from her face – my hand brushed my cheek, fingers lingering on my own skin. Would whatever lived in this place do the same to me?

I barely noticed her face twist in a mask of shock and surprise at my action; I didn't know what she was so shocked about. Stepping forward slightly, I tilted my head to the side, a frown crossing my face. I wanted to see the scars closer up, see how bad they were.

My hand reached out unthinkingly. She had stopped making noises, but when I moved, I felt them suddenly start again at a much higher pressure – much louder than before. What was she doing? Taking a glance at her whole face, I realized with a twist of my gut that her mouth was wide open, eyes scrunched closed, and tears falling from her eyes.

She was screaming.

A flash of something that I remembered came to me – my own mouth, wide and releasing a sound that I could not hear. My eyes, wide with terror, looking back in my face upon a reflective surface. And behind me, in that reflection, deep blood-colored eyes and a pair of hands, my skin color, on my shoulders.

I was against the back wall before I knew it, palms spread wide on the surface behind me. I could feel my eyes wide open; staring at her blankly, I tried to control the unnecessary breathing that was habitual.

I hadn't remembered anything about my past before except for the day I woke up. I had remembered a girl's hand being dragged along the cave wall, bloody handprint the only evidence that she had been there.

But why was I remembering something now? Was it because I was finally face to face with someone, seeing a girl who was so terrified as I reached toward her without my hunting instincts dominating my mind? It definitely struck a chord in me somewhere, in a way that hunting must have blocked somehow.

I couldn't tell where I was in the glimpse of memory I had, but I did know that – for some reason – I didn't want to frighten this girl. There was something too familiar about the situation in which a girl was screaming – that was the word – in terror about someone behind her...

It came to me. It was a vampire behind me in that memory – was it the same one that made me what I was now? Had that person behind me in that metallic, flat thing changed me into a vampire? Was that why this girl was so scared – because she knew what I was?

She was staring back at me: we were staring at each other. Her eyes flickered to the door I had come in, then back to me, and I saw confusion there. I wondered what that could mean even as I breathed erratically until something bounded through the door.

It was the most monstrously huge beast I had ever seen. It was nearly as tall as I was; huge teeth and claws glinted in the light, its eyes were dark and human-colored, and the shaggy fur was a strong color, solid. It was young – it went on four legs, and I didn't know its real name.

It certainly didn't act like an animal. It turned straight to the human girl – I noticed that she was frowning at me, lips moving frantically. Was she trying to tell me something? I took a short step forward – her mouth sounds grew louder, and the animal turned its head toward me.

There was a slight shock in its eyes for a moment before it drew its lips back and took a menacing step forward. The vibrations from its sounds shook the air around me – terrified, I backed into the wall again. Was this the creature that hurt the human girl?

Another one appeared at the door, joining its friend; this one was the same, just a different color. Then there was another pushing into the small room, and another...six of them, snarling and growling.

The last one moved towards the human girl – fearing for her, I gestured with my hand, trying to motion towards the door. She could still escape if she tried. If she made a break for it, I knew that I could hold the attention of these creatures long enough for her to get away.

But she didn't seem to understand. The beasts, however, understood completely and the vibrations grew louder. The leader – the first one inside – snapped at my hand, teeth clashing together.

I felt my vocal chords quiver, likely causing a little whimper, as I pulled my hand to my chest and slammed into the wall behind me. It encouraged the monsters, and they edged forward. I slid along the wall in a human heartbeat, squashing myself into the corner.

Sliding down to the floor as they edged closer, vibrations ripping through the air, I knew that this was the end. I had messed with creatures a thousand times stronger than I, and there was nothing I could do to get away from them. They would kill me. I had been so foolish.

What was I thinking, coming here? I should have known that these things were dangerous, that smell was dangerous, that girl was hurt for a reason...I felt my voice give another loud whimper even though I couldn't hear it.

The wall behind me cracked slightly from how hard I was pressing myself into the corner. I would be unable to fight these things off; knowing this, I let my arms cover my head and the back of my neck, curling my legs in to myself and ducking my face into my knees. In my little ball of protection, I could feel the vibrations of my own whimpers.

I waited for the pain to come, for them to rip me to pieces or bite me, or scratch me, or claw at me. I waited for pain, for blood or whatever flowed through my veins. Maybe they would even imprison me somehow. I didn't know what they were going to do – I just waited for it. And waited...waited...

The vibrations had stopped, but I didn't wonder about them. The only scents I could smell were the singular one that emitted from the large beasts – and then there was the human girl's scent, and it was so close to me.

I raised my head, eyes widening at the sight of the human girl standing in front of me. The beasts were staring at her, shaking – I could tell that there was rage on their faces. But they were holding back, and slowly there was a look of confusion taking over their animal faces.

Glancing at the girl, I noticed that there were vibrations coming from her mouth, strong and powerful. She was making a purposeful speech here, half of her body turned toward me while she spoke. Her eyes darted from me to them, over and over.

Lifting my head a little more, I felt my hair flop to the floor. Immediately, the beast heads turned toward me and they were suddenly prepared to spring. I cringed, throwing my hands up in front of me again and letting the soft whimpers take back over. I couldn't help it; I was terrified.

What would they do to me? Why was this happening? I couldn't decide what to do, and I didn't know what the girl was telling them. Throwing caution to the wind, I let my hands slide away from covering my face and peeked at the creatures. They weren't there any more and I relaxed even more, breathing deeply.

That wasn't right. I sniffed again; no, the same scent was coming from those men. They stood where the beasts had been; they trembled, as if holding back somehow, and the girl who was between them and me was still making mouth-sounds. The men replied and there was conversation.

Why were they talking when those creatures might come back? I didn't understand why they could just stand there so calmly. A thought occurred to me; did those creatures belong to these people? I had seen small animals that belonged to humans before – was that what those monsters were? It didn't seem likely.

I couldn't tell what was happening, but I was greatly relieved when a few of the men sat down rather abruptly in chairs around the table – only four of them. Two of the men were still talking to the woman. And then they were suddenly staring back at me.

It seemed to anger the man and he said something to the woman, then she responded and the other man, a younger one, said something else. I could hardly keep up, and tired quickly of having to relate what was happening between them as 'something's'.

Trying not to pay attention for a little while, I was abruptly pulled back when the older man moved. Striding forward with every eye in the room on him, he reached forward with one hand towards me.

His hand stretched out above me like that brought back another sharp memory, one that I hadn't seen before because I had never been in a position like this before, just like the one I had seen before with the girl.

Instead of his hand, I saw a pale hand reaching towards me. A woman's hand, with long, plain nails. But it wasn't moving towards me like this man's hand – it was reaching out to strike against my face as hard as it could.

Involuntarily, I flailed back from the imaginary hand; my arms came up to shield my face yet again, and I felt the wall make a loud vibration behind me. As soon as I moved, I could tell that this wasn't the same as that memory but it was too late.

There was a lack of vibrations in the room that was chilling, but I couldn't move yet. I was trembling from head to toe, my teeth chattering together despite my clenched jaw. I tried desperately to stop shaking, but there was a lack of success on that front.

I berated myself. Did I think that man was going to hit me? Of course he wouldn't – but then again, I didn't know for certain. I didn't know if he would or not – I just had a feeling that he wouldn't hurt me.

My arms were shaking as I lowered them just enough to look up at the man. I crossed them tightly against me when I saw his expression – shock, confusion, and a hint of pity that was battling with disgust. Well, what did I care about a human's thoughts?

For a long moment, there was nothing happening. Then he turned his head slightly, making mouth sounds, to which another man replied. The one that replied went to a strange box on the wall, picked up something that covered his ear and almost concealed his mouth, which was connected to another little box by a cord. Pressing something on that little box, he then seemed to be hearing something in it. I wasn't able to watch any more, because I had to watch the man in front of me.

He crouched down, elbows balancing against his knees. Mouthing something at me, he waited for a response. What could I tell him? How would I communicate? Choosing to do something rather than risk provoking him into setting his monster animal on me, I patted my hands over my ears.

He frowned and mouthed again. Insistently, I patted my hands over my ears. He didn't understand – I pointed to my ears instead, trying to make him understand that I couldn't hear mouth-sounds – or any sounds, really.

The girl understood me first – she jumped, letting out a loud sound that struck the air sharply. Everyone turned toward her; I stared as she mouthed something, pointing at her ear. Frowning, I tried to understand her – she pointed, shook her head, pointed again...she repeated it.

Suddenly, I understood what she was saying – 'no hearing', she repeated, 'no hearing'. The only difference was that I saw, in my minds' eye, a different pair of lips mouthing the same words. I actually understood the words she was saying.

I shook it away, knowing that I could come back to my memories when I wasn't possible in danger. Nevertheless, the realization that I knew two words of mouth-sound now was exhilarating and I felt my lips stretching into a smile.

I felt a vibration in my throat as excitement built and I copied her movement. Then I went to the basic signal that every human knows, that even I knew – nodding my head, telling her yes. Yes, I have 'no hearing'. I was strangely satisfied that she understood – actual communication with someone was a wonder I hadn't thought possible.

She smiled, triumphant for a few moments until her face suddenly flipped into a mask of shock. She mouthed the words again, hand coming up to cover her mouth; the other men looked just as surprised and startled about the revelation I had unwittingly unveiled for them.

I kept on smiling, glad for the communication that had transpired. These humans were the first people I had 'talked' to that I could remember. It was a bizarre situation, certainly, but it was a landmark achievement for me.

The man stood and backed away from me; I looked at his face. He was deep in thought about something. I wondered how vital it was that he think about this whatever-it-was right now...I was hungry for more 'talk'. I wanted to know things, and maybe these people could answer me.

The girl didn't seem particularly willing to 'talk' to me again. I frowned as I watched them all begin to speak mouth-sounds with each other. The man on the strange box-talking thing suddenly said something that caught all of their attention.

I watched in confusion as they began moving around; the men ran to another room and came back with button less shirts over their pants made of an odd fabric. The girl grabbed a thin-looking piece of clothing that humans wore over their other clothes.

Being alone for so long had gotten me out of touch with what the names of things were – not that I could remember many names anyway, even right after I came to from the pain in the cave.

A man said something to the girl and she turned back to me. I sat up, eagerly wide-eyed and waiting to see what she'd say. Maybe I would understand her words this time, maybe I would recognize more.

I must have heard 'no hearing' and seen it many times on people's lips before the pain, and thus I recognized it minutes ago. That was my working theory – I needed only to test it out a little bit more.

But she frowned slightly, and then motioned with her hands. She mouthed words slowly, but I didn't understand what she was trying to say. Apparently frustrated, she plopped to the floor, sitting down in front of me. Then, pointing from me to her, she stood up, doing the up-down motion with her hands again.

Did she want me to stand up? Slowly, I rose to my feet even as I kept myself pressed into the corner. She nodded, smiling, and pulled her hands from her to me, taking a small step backwards.

A light smile played across my face; she wanted me to follow her. That was easy enough to see. I was careful to take small steps so that I wouldn't startle her with my speed again. Nevertheless, she jumped a little bit when I appeared in front of her, slightly smiling and waiting to see where she'd take me.

A man stepped up beside me almost as soon as I was standing beside the girl. His chest seemed to puff out slightly and he shook for a second; I tilted my head to the side and frowned, wondering what was wrong with him.

Another man appeared behind me and I turned around to look at him. He gestured toward the door, where the first man – the one who had approached me – was waiting outside. Two more men flanked the door, waiting for me to leave.

I didn't see anything outside, but I still moved cautiously as I walked out the door. My eyes scanned everything as I followed the leading man; the other men were around me, three of them. The girl was walking with the last two men, just behind the group surrounding me.

I felt nervous as I willingly allowed the men to lead me through the woods. I wasn't foolish enough to let down my guard, of course – I didn't know who these humans were, after all. And if those monstrous beasts were theirs...I just had to be careful, that was all.

We walked for a long time. I never grew tired and I never let my attention waver, making certain that I knew what was around me all the time. Even though I wasn't touching the ground after every few steps, I could still sense things around me in the forest.

That included the distinct presence of seven predators like the ones I continuously avoided – just arriving mere trees ahead of us.

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_**A/N – I'm sorry I cut it off right here, but I don't want to add too much to any one chapter! I do hope that this met your expectations and certainly hope that you'll keep being interested in this! **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	4. Backtrack

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own "Boston" by Augustana, or "You Are The One" by Shiny Toy Guns. I am neither band/artist. **_

**_A/N – Thanks to the lovely volunteer beta who has started going over this story (and SomL) for me, Lhiannon (Lhia)! 'Idea trampoline'! LOL. I had to rework an initial idea that is major in this chapter, and Lovely Lhia has been MAJOR help for that! I love you, Lhia! This chapter took a while coming, I know, and I'm working on writing my chapters faster but it takes time, you know:) This chapter is – obviously – in Edward's POV. It's written as if you already know everything about Edward and the Cullens that you need to know (which you do) so there are no background introductions of the characters – I wanted to move this chapter along quickly. _**

**_Also, the song that Edward is playing is "You Are The One" by Shiny Toy Guns. Give it a listen - it's great! Enjoy!_**

**B/N: Hi there, it's Lhia. I just wanted to say that I'm glad to be working with BlueSea and I hope you enjoy this installment! I am sure you were all waiting impatiently for Edward's entrance – I know I was. Well, here you have it! Have fun!**

* * *

"_In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh, it has begun…_

_Oh dear, you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed _

_This world you must have crossed, you said…"_

**_"Boston" by Augustana_**

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Backtrack**

* * *

Forks, 2007

"_Black rose and radio fire…"_ I turned the volume up on the speakers for my personalized stereo. The song mostly masked the thoughts of my family drifting around the living room three floors down from me, but I could still hear them.

_Why does he have to turn the music up?_ Alice sighed – the only black mark on her usually happy composure. _Edward, please come down – family time doesn't exclude one member of said family, you know!_

The rest of my family was resolutely trying not to focus on how I was the only one not downstairs, but it wasn't working very well for them. Alice was the first to directly call me in her mind – that they did not interrupt me was mainly due to the fact that I had asked for my alone time.

It wasn't that I didn't want to be near my family, that I wanted them to have some irrational worry about me – I just wanted a bit of time alone, not having to hear thoughts swarming around me in a thick, consuming cloud. It was hard to be myself when I was constantly tuned in to all of them.

But that didn't mean I had to make them feel bad for leaving me alone in my room. I reached over to cut off the music. "_You'll never be alone_ –," the speakers played before becoming silent. Wasn't that ironic?

_Yes!_ Alice thought triumphantly: turning back to the topic at hand, she smoothly changed it to, of all things, music. What was her plan? I frowned as I reached the bottom of the first staircase, frustrated that she was concentrating completely on the conversation – thus blocking other thoughts from reaching me.

I took a seat on the arm of the sofa that Esme and Carlisle occupied. My mother smiled up at me, thrilled that I had come down to spend time with my family. My mind wandered during the conversation as I tried to figure out exactly why Alice had wanted me down here – there had to be a reason.

So lost was I in trying to figure out the puzzle of Alice's mind that I nearly missed Esme crying, "Oh, yes, why don't you play something, Edward?" _I haven't heard you play in a long while – play for us now? Please?_

A vague impression that the conversation had somehow drifted to piano music – and in turn, mine – was the only hint I had about the previous conversation – the one I hadn't been fully listening to. I knew I should have…

"Edward…" Rosalie's eyes widened to huge proportions when I pressed my lips together tightly; I wasn't fully eager to play any music right now. I had to want to play in order to feel like it. _It would mean a lot to Esme, you know that._

A faint smile traced my lips and I rolled my eyes at her. Of course it would mean a lot to my mother; she was the one who worried about me the most, after all! But it was the surprise of Rosalie thinking about someone other than herself that prompted me to stand – reluctantly – and make my way to the piano.

I didn't need Jasper's ability to feel how my family anticipated the music as I sat down at the piano. My fingers drifted over the keys as I thought for a moment about what to play – in the end, I chose Esme's favorite tune, one that I knew she'd appreciate hearing very much.

_Edward,_ Carlisle sighed in his mind, _you couldn't have chosen a better song than this one. Sometimes I'm amazed at your talent._ He could see my face and thus, my lips curving slightly from his complement. I didn't need to speak for him to understand that I was responding to his thoughts.

My mind drifted back to our last close discussion, perhaps a day or two ago. Currently, we didn't have school – a blessed break from monotony that I had grown accustomed to over the past hundred years – and my sense of days was curiously muddled during the summer months. That was one thing we had in common with humans.

_We only have a year or two left here,_ Carlisle continued, musing over the time we had already spent in Forks. _I think I'm going to miss this house, won't you?_ I nodded, a barely perceptible and seemingly unconscious movement to anyone who didn't know I was answering a thought.

_I'm not sure where we'll go next – maybe back overseas. I haven't seen Aro, Marcus or Caius in a long time. And it has been nagging on me that they don't yet know of my extended family. The last they heard from me, I was merely starting to contemplate creating a companion._ Carlisle's thoughts softened. _We should discuss this later, though – don't let my thoughts distract you from your music._

Again, I nodded along in time to the beat of the notes drifting from my hands. I hadn't considered before that our family wasn't introduced to the Volturi – it had never seemed like something to worry about.

Now, I realized that it would be a good idea: it would ensure that the Guard knew Carlisle Cullen's coven, in order to keep us all protected and make them wary of hurting us – in case they were cast into disfavor with the central Volturi coven. They would only think of themselves, while Carlisle was thinking of protecting his family.

The notes drifted in a melody around me, playing out to my heart's content. It was easy for me to play music I had already written down, composed on paper – even though I had no yearning to play. The times I wanted to sit down at the piano, of my own volition, were the times I could compose music.

With a soft finish, the music drifted to a close; the last clear note hung lightly in the air. I heard Esme sigh, appreciative of the music. _That was beautiful. Thank you, Edward._ I turned around and smiled at her. "My pleasure, Esme."

Jasper's thoughts caught my attention next. _When did he compose that song? I've heard it so many times – it must have been back when it was the three of them. Esme's deep attachment to it certainly speaks of how long ago he created it._ He was right; I could hardly remember when I composed the piece for her.

It was just another hint to how old I was, how long I had existed on this Earth. Indeed, I had composed this music for Esme near the beginning of her life with Carlisle and myself. After I had gone off on my own – and destroyed what little soul I had left – I found a sense of peace in being able to think up the song for her, and so kept creating my own works of piano music.

Alice was smiling brightly at me, about to say something, when she suddenly sat bolt upright. A confusing blur of imagery flashed in her mind's eye – it wasn't a singular vision, but a chain of events that reacted off one another. Several possibilities were hidden in each image that came to her mind.

I could catch none of them; my ability didn't allow me the capacity to fully see each and every clip like Alice could. Complicated visions like this – a single choice opening a new door in her mind with dramatic, resonating possibilities behind it – was rare and overwhelmed me if I tried to concentrate on them.

Being able to interpret everything she saw was an intuitive part of Alice's ability. Jasper grasped her shoulders gently, holding her steady as she stared with blank eyes into thin air. She had unknowingly stopped breathing.

The rest of my family and I waited for Alice to come out of her vision. I was nervous while they were simply waiting for the news of the vision. They didn't know that this was one of those few and far between visions: only a handful of times before had a vision been as severe as this, and each one had been important.

I climbed off the piano bench and crouched in front of her. That single movement was the only tip-off they needed: Jasper darted a look at me. _It's one of those visions, isn't it?_ He asked in his mind.

"Yes," I murmured, delicately taking her hands in mine. "It's very confusing; I can't concentrate to see what it is. There's too much." I was worried: the vision shouldn't last too long, and I hated not knowing what she was going through right now.

Alice was a dear sister to me; Rosalie and Alice both were dear to me, but in different ways. But Alice and I had talents that could label us 'freaks' in more ways than the rest of the family. Even Jasper was more normal than we were, but then again, the three of us were definitely not anywhere near normal.

She snapped out of her vision with a gasp of air. "Alice," Jasper called her, as she gazed about in confusion. _Definitely not what's normal after one of her visions. _"Alice, look at me." She met his eyes. "What did you see?"

_Oh Jazz, I saw so much – you wouldn't believe it – I can't believe it – who knew? Who knew it was possible? How could it be? How different – how unique – I can't believe she's – and then he's – and I can't even begin to imagine…_ "So much life," she whispered. "So much life alone…"

_She's scaring me now, Edward. Tell us what's happening in her head,_ Carlisle instructed. I shook my own head. "Carlisle, I can't understand her – she's babbling in her mind, she won't focus on any one thing."

Suddenly, as if a switch was flipped in direct contradiction to my words, she seemed to snap back to Earth. Tearing her eyes away from Jasper's, Alice looked to Carlisle. _She's there now. _"The phone – answer the phone."

Still confused, my father stood and made it to the wireless phone in the kitchen and was back within moments, holding the lifeless device in his hand. _Well, someone's going to call soon, I suppose,_ he thought, looking to me. _I don't suppose you know whom?_

I glanced back to Alice: she was thinking about something in her head at a headache-inducing rate of speed. The only words I could catch were 'he, 'she' and 'they'. Obviously, she was thinking about her vision and not even opening up to Jasper yet. He stayed right by her side and held her, waiting for her to talk.

"No," I answered, "I still can't read your mind clearly, Alice. What just happened? Who's calling?"

"Oh, they are," she answered flippantly, almost seeming angry about a distraction. _Right about now._ The electronic device in Carlisle's hand suddenly began to ring, a high-pitched tone that echoed around the room.

My father didn't hesitate as he brought the phone to his ear and hit the green button. "Hello, Cullen residence. Carlisle Cullen speaking." _There's no caller ID on this phone – we should get a new one. _

Vampire hearing allowed all of us to eavesdrop on the other end of the line. A gruff male voice echoed out of the receiver. "This is the Cullen house, then?"

"I said that, yes," Carlisle answered. _A teenager? Oh, please tell me that none of those boys from high school are calling about Alice or Rosalie…_ I felt like laughing. The probability of that happening was surprisingly high, if only the adolescent teenage boys knew our home number. And it was beginning to look like one had gotten hold of it somehow.

"Sorry," the boy grunted. "I'm…um, Embry…at the Reservation, La Push. We contacted Chief Swan to get this number – Sam asked me to call to…check something."

My lips drew back in a snarl that I tried to suppress – I managed to keep it silent. Hisses and my brothers' growls made a low rumbling noise in the room. I locked eyes with Carlisle. _So they're checking up on us now, are they? There are more wolves, more 'protectors'? I thought that genetic defect died out. _

I had thought so, too, but it appeared that we were wrong. A thought occurred to me; maybe they weren't so much 'checking up' on us, to see if we had kept our side of the treaty. "Maybe they're new and want to know if we still stand on the same position as before," I suggested quietly.

Carlisle nodded, considering it before breaking the tense silence. "Check? Is something wrong…Embry?"

"Um…" The boy was stalling. Something was definitely wrong – and he had to be new. Wolves hated us; they wouldn't be stuttering like this usually. "Well, we kind of have a…situation. Are there any more members of your…coven, anyone new besides the seven of you?"

My eyebrows shot up. That sounded like… "No, there are no more members besides us," Carlisle was frowning. "That… Are you telling me that there's a vampire in your reservation? One that is not part of our coven?" _Is that what Alice had seen, a marauding vampire unbound by our treaty in the Quileute territory? But why wouldn't she just say so?_

"That's kind of the reason I'm stammering…" Embry laughed nervously. "Um, there's an unknown vampire here – right here, actually. She's curled up in the corner of Em's kitchen. We don't know how she got in the house, let alone the reservation."

I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose. This was one hell of a disaster! The treaty might be on shaky grounds now, and what if the wolves got over their confusion about this female and decided that she just might be in our coven? I felt unexpectedly angry at this female – but she didn't know about us.

If she did, she would have known that there was a coven of vampires in the area. Most vampires would come by to introduce themselves, and the few that didn't would have come by just to see if we were a threat to them. This one female was an anomaly, to wander straight into the Quileute lands that reeked of werewolf.

Carlisle shared mirror-like images of my worries in his thoughts, with one additional fear. "In the house? Is she…thirsty? Did she go there – is there a human in your house?" His serious, commanding tone pierced the air. He was clearly worried, even a wolf would be idiotic not to hear it.

"Yeah, but that's why we thought she might be part of your coven. She didn't attack Emily – in fact, she's curled up in the corner because…well, we smelled her and thought she was going to attack, so we just came in the door. She – she completely freaked out, slammed herself into the walls in the corner and curled up there."

He paused for a moment and then added, "Her clothes are nearly disintegrated – she seems to have lived a bit feral for a long time. And we have a bit of a communication problem…she's not talking."

_Did they try to make her talk?_ Carlisle grew concerned. "Not talking?"

All of us already knew that we would be going to pick her up from the reservation – Carlisle and I were the most curious about this development and wanted to meet the female. In the interest of protecting our family, we wanted to bring her here quickly and out of the Quileute territory.

Esme, Alice and Jasper had stayed in their seats, but Rosalie had moved around to stand behind Emmett, where he sat on the couch. We were all just waiting for the time to go and take this unknown vampire away from the Quileute lands.

Embry coughed uncomfortably. "Yeah…Emily just managed to get some form of communication out of her, and she pretty clearly managed to convey…well, the female can't hear. And thus, she's not talking – we don't think she knows how to talk."

There was a moment of stunned silence. The first thought to fly through my mind was 'that's impossible'. A vampire was supposed to be perfect – wouldn't that erase any damage done in human life?

Carlisle had the same thought too, until he reminded himself, _I don't know everything about vampires. I can't exclude the possibility of this. _"I…I see…I don't know how that's…possible. It shouldn't be…" He swallowed hard before going back to business. "Do you think you can get her off the reservation for us to take her? We would be able to get her out of the house if you can't, of course, but the treaty…"

"No,' Embry snapped quickly. "No, we can't break the treaty. She's not one of you at this time, so we can overlook her being here right now. But we can't overlook that – and it's not really the pack's decision, it's the Council's. They wouldn't understand why we aren't killing her right now."

_That is unusual._ Carlisle hesitantly asked, "Is there a reason you didn't, Embry?"

An uncomfortable cough later, Embry mumbled, "Emily stopped us. She guessed that the female was completely confused about what was going on, and it certainly seems like it right now. Also…there's another reason we thought she might be with your coven. Her eyes are a weird color – kind of orangey. You might know what that means."

Orange? That certainly didn't sound like any vampire I knew of. Carlisle didn't seem to know a definite answer either._ It's odd, but that would be the combination of red and gold, especially since he said 'orangey' instead of plain 'orange'. _"I see. Thank you for not killing her, Embry – from what little you've told me, it seems like she just might be unable to communicate with anyone, if she won't talk and can't hear…she's probably confused and terrified."

"Right," was his answer. "So…I'm pretty positive we can get her off the floor and out of the house. We –the pack – don't want her to be hanging around here in La Push, but on Emily's insistence, we can't kill her. Besides, she's not technically breaking the treaty, and hasn't killed anyone as far as we know, so the Council's command would be against the point of our…pack. Our job."

The sense of duty to their name – 'protectors' – astonished me. Even though the wolves had to loathe vampires, their sense of duty was stronger than that. Amazing. Carlisle thought so, too.

"Then my family will go to the boundary, on the edge closest to Forks since we can't come in and get her." _Such loyalty…Edward, I don't believe this pack would ever consider breaking the treaty if we didn't do something first._ "We'll be there in fifteen minutes, give or take."

"Okay." Embry seemed to hold the phone away from his face as he called, "They'll meet us; we can hand her over at the boundary!" With that, the other line went dead. No phone etiquette at all: I sighed slightly as Carlisle hung up our end of the line.

"Are we running there?" Rosalie asked, standing up straight and fixing her shirt hem nervously. _A female? Will she become part of the family? Is that what Alice saw? Who is she? Will she be wild? What if she drinks from humans?_

These questions and more filled my sisters' mind, surprising me at their non-shallow depths. Rosalie was actually thinking of someone other than herself, and it was all over anxiety of meeting another vampire. It wasn't that surprising – Rosalie was always nervous about running across others of our kind. It was just the depth of her concerns about this unknown female that surprised me. Apparently, she was in a gracious mood today.

"I think we should – she'll probably be more comfortable running than being inside a car." _Especially,_ he added with a significant look to me, _if she's lived alone and wildly for however long she's been a vampire. We'll need to know her thoughts, Edward, know how to communicate with her._ I nodded.

Turning to Jasper, he said aloud, "Make sure you watch her emotions: if she's lived wild for however long she's been a vampire, there's no telling what she'll think of meeting others of her kind. Her disabilities might make anxiety worse, since she can't or won't talk to anyone."_ She should respond well to Jasper, I think, if he's the source of comfort when she's anxious._

"What if that's just because they're wolves?" Emmett suggested. _What if she was teasing them?_ "What if she can talk and hear, and just pretended not to?"

"Why would anyone do that?" I asked. "She had to have known she was in danger in order for her to be aware enough to tease wolves. Antagonizing a wolf in that position would have been incredibly dangerous to her. She'd have to be sadistic to act it out, assured enough to think she'd win a fight if they discovered her and weren't happy at all about being made a mockery of."

Carlisle agreed. "It would be a very unwise move on her part." _I can't imagine anyone doing something like that._ "We should head out now. Alice, do you think you can make it with us?"_ I want her to come so the female can see our whole family, but I don't know if she'll want to come or not…_

"I'm coming," Alice chirped, standing and pulling Jasper with her. _I'm not missing my first sight of her!_ The thoughts of my family were all abuzz about the female: they were nearly projecting their thoughts to me. I couldn't concentrate on her mind – concentration would make all of them shout in my head.

Carlisle and Esme led the way out the door. I allowed my siblings to file out of the house before me, trying vainly to push their thoughts away from me. Excitement caused the volume to be much louder than normal, day-to-day thoughts, and I was becoming anxious and twitchy after only a few minutes of being under that influence.

A calming wave slammed into me as I closed the door firmly as the last person out of the house. Instantly, I found it easier to push the thoughts out of my head into a dull background noise. "Thank you, Jasper."

"No problem."_ You were struggling with our thoughts; I figured that calming everyone down would also help when we met this female._ Jasper and Alice were the last to reach the trees around our house; from there, they set off running after the rest of the coven.

I took my time reaching the trees – being the fastest runner, I knew that even being the last one to leave the house wouldn't stop me from being the first to the boundary. Jasper and Alice were the only two who hadn't been with our family when the treaty was first made, which was why they were following the other four.

My feet danced over the ground when I reached the edge of the trees, too lightly to make an imprint and too fast for anything mortal to see me. The thrill of running made me feel light and I shot past Alice and Jasper without a second of hesitation.

_Showoff!_ Alice's 'giggle' in my mind was like a passing shadow at this speed. I soon overtook Emmett and Rosalie, and shortly after that, I made my way around Carlisle and Esme. I was just barely ahead of them and decided to slow down my running, so I didn't arrive there and have to stand around waiting for them.

The forest was heavy with the scents of various animals and plant life: a lush, green world with heavy rains and misty days. Enjoyable scents died out as I neared the border that the wolves regularly patrolled out of habit more than their distrust of us.

I skidded to a halt a few feet before the boundary edge lay. Right on the other side, pushed against the undrawn line, was the scent of wolves – several of them. Each scent was slightly different, though no less repulsive. I estimated about six of them, six wolves in this generation of boys.

I sensed my family coming through the trees behind me and turned around. Watching as each of them burst through the trees, I calmly waited for them to join me at the border. Carlisle stepped up beside me, Esme on his other side and holding his hand.

_This will be the first meeting we've had with the Quileute pack since the treaty was made – and these boys aren't the ones we made that treaty with. I hope your brothers can keep calm – there's too much hatred between our races, either they or we will throw a barb first. _He was right.

I murmured, "No one say anything unnecessary," looking very pointedly at Emmett on the opposite end of our lineup from me. Jasper and Alice were to my side, standing very close together.

Emmett snorted. _You don't trust me, Edward? You don't think I can keep myself from insulting the wolves?_ Pointblank, I shot back, "No, I don't think so." He rolled his eyes. _I'll prove him wrong – hear that, Edward? You'll be wrong!_

"I certainly hope so…" I trailed off, warning him. Carlisle gave me a look, wondering what had transpired between us, but I shrugged and looked back to the woods before us, on the other side of the invisible line. _Thank you for mentioning it, Edward. I was about to, but I think you made a bigger impact with Emmett than I would have – you can actually beat him at wrestling matches._ I struggled not to laugh.

We waited for another long minute for the wolves to reach us: thoughts turned to random things and I had to keep returning them to a blank, fuzzy background to keep my sanity. I thought about this mysterious female who wandered straight into werewolf territory.

It was puzzling: how had she made it past us without our noticing? Had she come along the coast, wandering along the beach for some inexplicable reason that only she knew? There wasn't much in the way of good hunting on the coast, either our way or the way of most vampires.

And her eyes…I was sure that the 'Embry' boy wouldn't have made a mistake about her eye color, but it was so confusing. Carlisle had never run across a vampire without burgundy or golden eyes, and the only other vampires besides us with gold eyes were the Denali coven. It was puzzling, a mystery.

Then Embry had told us about her inability to speak or hear. I had to admit that I didn't know everything about vampire transformations – had something been done to her as she changed, rendering her hearing nonexistent? Was she like that before she changed?

I had thought that vampire hearing was changed for the better in the transformation: we all had excellent hearing. Had something gone wrong for her? One thing I was validly certain was that her refusal to talk just might be because of her being unable to hear. Many deaf humans seemed to be mute too, but could actually talk.

They just didn't because they couldn't hear their own words. But I didn't know much about that – I had gone to medical school a few times, not specialized in any way. I knew about as much as I could deduce from what I had already learned.

Only a few minutes had passed when I caught a brief glimmer of thoughts that I didn't recognize. They were all focusing on a female – I saw her face in my mind. A pale, heart-shaped face was surrounded with a wild, tangled nest of nearly black hair. Her bone structure was utterly perfect, skin pale and smooth, and her eyes were the strangest color. Almost red, but not quite – a hint of orange or gold?

"They're coming," I announced, frowning. "Her eyes are the oddest color…" They all stared at me for a moment. "I saw her face in one of their minds – her eyes are almost red, but there's an undertone of…orange? Gold?" How bizarre.

_Gold? Our eyes – is it possible that she has a diet in a mixture of both? It would explain the mixture of two colors – but I didn't know our eyes could do that._ Carlisle was theorizing already; his workable guess made the most sense.

We all stared intently toward the trees in front of us, waiting for them to step up to the border. I could sense them coming even closer: finally, they seemed to step around trees and into the dim, cloud-covered light of midday. Like they had melted out of the forest: six teenage boys, a human female…

…and a female vampire.

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**_A/N – I'm sorry, I can't go on any more! I want to incorporate their meeting as the next chapter in Bella's POV – the Edward's POV chapters will be spaced out in this fic, I'm afraid, because I want this to focus more on her than him. I'm not sure when the next Edward-POV will be in HNE, so don't wait eagerly for it or anything! It definitely won't be for a while, if my plans go straight:) _**

**_A note on the pack getting the Cullen's phone number from Charlie! Charlie respects Carlisle and is friends with Billy. The pack says that it was to apologize to the Cullens about their actions and prejudices, and Charlie is so happy that 'Billy' had come to his senses and he looks up the number for them. Of course, they might not be able to keep up the pretense...but 'people change their minds', they could use that excuse. Also, yes, Charlie is a lonely single man. Poor Charlie… Sorry, he won't be meeting Bella. But he will be mentioned…_**

**_Thank you for all the support I've gotten on this fic so far! I can't believe how much there is:) I'm glad people like it, and I would definitely appreciate constructive criticism on this. After all, I can't get better without your help! _**

**_Thanks for reading!_**


	5. One Touch

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**A/N – Hello! Here's your next chapter! And I know I said I wouldn't do more Edward for a while, but I couldn't help myself:) Also, the first and second sections are the same scenes, first from Edward's POV and then Bella's. As always, the wonderful Lhiannon my Beta is much appreciated!**_

**B/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. IT'S NOT HER FAULT, I PROMISE. BLAME IT ON A MASSIVE TEST AND TWO QUIZZES IN TWO DAYS. These are college tests, mind you. So give me a break. Anyway, now that I have a moment, I'm going to peruse this and zap it back to her so y'all can read it ASAP. K? K. -Lhia**

* * *

"_In the light of the sun, is there anyone, oh it has begun…_

_Oh dear, you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed_

_This world you must have crossed, you said…"_

_**"Boston" by Augustana**_

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**Chapter 5 – One Touch **

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The Treaty Boundary, 2007 – Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

There was no doubt that the female was a vampire: except for the eyes, I would have known immediately. Her eyes made me wary, uncertain – how could they be that color? And then, there was the question of why she couldn't hear. Those mysteries and the mysterious past that was her secret made me curious.

She came to a stop just after breaking through the line of the trees. The human girl turned to her, eyebrow arched up in confusion. "It's okay," she murmured, almost unknowingly. "You're safe, you know." _I don't think that this coven would hurt her: they haven't touched a human; they've obeyed the treaty. Why would they hurt one of their own kind?_

The compassion of the girl shocked me – and then my eyes locked on her face. Jagged scars, down the length of her cheek, twisting her lip up in a permanent grimace, the deep, dark scars that remained on her skin… The dangers of running with werewolves, I was sure of it.

Yet she wasn't afraid of them? Her hand was twined with that of the leader of the pack.

My eyes slipped back to the vampire female on their side of the boundary. She was edging backwards, eyes wide and wild. _Definitely feral, especially compared to us,_ Carlisle thought. _Look at her eyes – I've never seen such a color, but I think that she might take both kinds of blood. We'll have to ask her._

Indeed we would. But before we could attempt talking to her, we would have to show her that we meant no harm. I looked at her, trying to figure out a way to ease her obvious anxiety, and was struck by her appearance.

It seemed that her hair wasn't as dark as it first appeared: I could see that it was a lighter color underneath the mud pasted to strands of hair. It was dried now, and flaking off ever so slightly, but would take a long while – her hair seemed very thick.

Her clothing was made up of only a few scraps of cloth: she was lucky that it seemed to have stayed whole enough over her chest and hips, while straggling remnants that spoke of very old times hung around her arms and legs. It appeared that there was mold growing through the cloth itself, matching the dress color and appearing to hold the scraps of cloth to her skin. Her feet were bare – pale and, of course, perfect.

_Oh, the poor dear! She needs a good, warm bath and a soft towel._ Esme was already turning motherly on her, already anxious to throw the female in a warm robe – and for some unknown reason, slippers. _I hope Alice or Rosalie has something that she can use, at least until we can get her some clothes of her own. _

I had to agree with Esme on this one: there was something about her wide eyes and innocent face that awoke an urge in me to comfort her. She had to be absolutely terrified, first being captured by wolves and now, apparently being turned over to a coven of seven other vampires. She still seemed edgy, but no longer tried to move away from us.

Letting go of the human girl's hand, the leader of the pack stepped forward to the boundary line. I struggled not to wrinkle my nose too strongly in response to the harsh smell, but he reacted the same way as we did. "Thank you for coming and waiting at the boundary for us." _They certainly don't seem human, never mind the stench! What should I say now? I'm not sure what to tell them._

"You don't need to tell us anything more than you want to." I realized a second too late that he hadn't spoken out loud when Carlisle glanced at me, forehead creasing: the rest of my family tried not to appear too fazed, but the wolves didn't bother trying to hide their shock.

_What? Did he just read my mind?_ "I'm sorry?" There was a tightening of the muscles in his shoulders and I held up my hands directly in front of me, a sign of peace. It went against my better instincts to be polite to a werewolf, but several factors played a role in my actions: the first being that this was an already tense situation without adding to it – the second being the female on the other side of the line. I didn't want to antagonize the wolves in case they decided to hurt her in response.

"My mistake – sometimes I can't differentiate that well," I attempted to smooth it over. The pack leader's eyes widened and his jaw tightened. _He can hear thoughts? Only him, or can the rest of them do it too?_ "I'm the only one in my family who can – I apologize, I'm not trying to hear you. I don't know how to control my ability."

I didn't know if he would take my explanation or not, but apparently he did. _Well, we only have to be here for a few minutes. I can handle it until then. Hopefully we'll never be this close again, so he'll have no need to listen in on us – even if he says he's not trying to._ I could forgive him that suspicion, of course – it was only reasonable of a werewolf not to trust us. It was in both of our natures not to trust the other.

_I think Embry told him most of the story. Should I introduce us? No, they don't need to know everyone's names. _"My name is Sam Uley. This is Emily." He gestured to the human girl. "She was alone at home when the female came into the house."

"Came in?" Carlisle focused on Emily. _The poor girl; those scars must have been terrible when fresh. This is why werewolves can be dangerous – only if their tempers aren't in check._ "She entered your home while you were alone…not to mention that she came onto your lands in the first place. Even a wild vampire would have known better…"

_What does that mean?_ "A wild vampire would have known better?" Sam raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms defensively. _Has word of our pack spread to other vampires? Is it common knowledge that they shouldn't come onto our land?_

If only. "Hardly," I answered, shaking my head. "What Carlisle means is that even a newborn vampire should have stayed away from your scent – it naturally repels us, just as ours disgusts you…it doesn't make sense why she would just traipse onto your land."

_Unless she didn't smell them: she looks a little bit wet…_ "Do you know where her trail led in from?" Carlisle asked, frowning slightly. "We would have sensed her moving on our land, but if she didn't approach yours from anywhere in our territory…"

_From the beach._ One of the pack members jerked his head a little. "We caught her scent while in the forest, patrolling the borders – it led up from the beach." I recognized his voice – Embry, the one on the phone.

That explained her bedraggled appearance, the way she seemed as if she'd just climbed out of a swimming pool with her clothes on. She came in through the ocean – had she swum from somewhere higher or lower on the coast? Yet another question we had to ask her…

_I think that's enough pleasantries. I can't handle being this close to them for much longer._ Sam looked over his shoulder at the female: a curious thing happened. Her eyes brightened when she met his, and she stepped forward – almost eagerly.

Emily wrapped her hand gently around the female's wrist and tugged her forward. The female willingly allowed herself to be guided closer to the boundary – her posture was relaxed, but her eyes darted from Sam to each of us in turn.

I didn't understand her strange trust in the wolves and the pack leader's mate: it was almost as if she felt safe with them all around her. I felt Emmett tense slightly as the pack members drifted forward, surrounding her from the back – it looked almost as if they were closing in on the kill.

…_I know I don't want her running back through the forest. I hope Billy's inside if she does manage to break away from us. I don't want Dad to get hurt because we couldn't control this one. Why doesn't Sam just toss her over to them already, the stench is unbearable! _One of the pack's thoughts calmed my own mind.

They were just trying to protect their people. They did have a vampire on their lands, after all: they were entitled to being a little bit overprotective of their people. And none of them had malevolent intentions toward the female – instead, I was surprised to find curiosity that mirrored my own in their heads.

_Whoever heard of a deaf one? None of our legends ever mentioned them being anything other than perfect. Why is this one different? What makes her so unique?_ Sam himself was caught up in questions as he watched the female come forward step by step.

Her eyes were no longer darting randomly, but inspecting each of us in turn: first Rosalie and Alice, then Emmett and Jasper, and now she was on Esme. I watched her face, as she seemed to take in everything about my mother as she could – searching for something. Answers?

I vaguely heard Sam. _Is Emily going to take her all the way to the line?_ "I don't know why she trusts Emily, but if it's all right with you she'll take her over the boundary to your land." _And she better not be hurt the minute she steps over._

_I'm surprised he trusts us so much. The natural animosity between our two races should have been enough to make him at least hesitant about that._ "Of course," Carlisle replied graciously. My eyes stayed locked intently on the female's face.

She looked every bit like our kind, yet not – her perfect, pale face was framed by dirty, tangled hair; her luminous eyes offset in a strange color; her long, slimly muscular limbs were draped with scraps of ancient cloth. I was seized by curiosity – what was she thinking as she approached us?

Mentally, I kicked myself for not having tried to pay attention before: Carlisle had already mentioned it before at the house, but I hadn't tried to listen for her mind, specifically, under the murmurs and words of everyone else's minds. Now, I tried to zero in on her mind.

There was nothing.

Concentrating harder, I let go of the meek attempts at blocking minds that I had perfected, and no longer tried to ignore the buzz of words around me. And still, there was nothing. When I focused harder on the spot that her mind should have been speaking to me from, I heard nothing – but everyone else began to shout in my head.

Realizing my actions a second too late, I found my hand pressed against the side of my head and my eyes scrunched shut before I could stop myself. I wasn't used to the volume of words in my head, and in my un-thought out attempts to hear this female, I had unwittingly caused screaming, confined in the perimeters of my brain.

I tried to ignore the voices again: by now, it was clear that I simply couldn't hear her. There was something very, very wrong about that: I didn't like it at all. If I couldn't hear her, then how were we going to communicate with her? She couldn't hear us!

This was new for me. I had never before been unable to hear someone's mind in my own, had never before encountered something like this. What did it mean? Was she somehow able to block me? If so, how did she know what I could do?

_Edward?_ My father's worried voice drifted through my head; his gentle touch on my shoulder made me reflexively open my eyes. My family's worried faces peered at me in concern: the wolves looked fairly uncertain – they were worried that the blame for this whatever-it-was that happened to me would be blamed on them.

The girl Emily seemed similarly concerned, but the vampire female simply stared at me, a faint frown marring her unnaturally beautiful vampire face. She seemed confused, as if she didn't know what I had just tried to do. Maybe she didn't know she was blocking me: maybe it was an inborn reflex, a defense mechanism she had no control over.

_Edward, what's wrong? What just happened?_ Carlisle's frown drew me back to the moment and situation. I knew that it was hardly a good time to mention this, nor was it a good idea to do so in front of the wolves, but I couldn't keep this a secret from my family.

"Her mind…" I replied, feeling slightly dazed: the surreal reality of my predicament hit full force as I uttered the words. "I can't hear her mind."

My family made vain efforts to hide their shock, but Alice simply blurted, "That's never happened before!" _I didn't see that in my visions! I only saw us meeting this female – then the path is foggy from here. She's going to make a decision that will affect all the future outcomes here and now…_

I didn't have the ability to worry alongside Alice about all the possible future outcomes of this one situation. I was still reeling from shock and needed to explain myself further. "I stopped trying to block everyone's mind, to see if hers would come through, but that only made the rest of you shout in my head…I can't hear her at all."

The predominant thought in the minds of my family was '_How is that possible?_' I winced slightly as they began to sound louder in my head from the anxiety and worry about this unusual situation.

_Sorry_, Carlisle apologized to me. "We can discuss this later, Edward." He turned back to the female. _We should take her off their side of the boundary now – our own personal conversations and questions can wait until later, when we're back at the house_. I nodded.

Emily's eyes flickered between the two of us and she began to tug the female forward, step by step once more. _I hope she'll be all right. It's so bizarre to be touching a vampire – she's so cold, her skin is so smooth and – and solid, somehow. It's so much more different than Sam's burning hot skin._

Polar opposites: that was what vampires and werewolves were to one another, exact opposites. It still amazed me that this female seemed comfortable on that side of the line, but hesitant about crossing it to join those of her own kind. It made no logical sense to me.

Her eyes swept from Carlisle to me now, and my eyes locked squarely with hers. She halted mid-step, simply staring back at me with the most peculiar expression on her face – confusion about something, worry about something else, and fear. Why was she afraid of me?

Was it because of my brief lapse in control, when I felt nearly overwhelmed by the shouting voices in my head? Had that worried her? Without thinking about it, I slid one step forward, still well on our side of the boundary.

"It's all right," I murmured gently, over-exaggerating the movements of my mouth specifically to see if she could actually read lips. Her eyes fell to my mouth: I smiled slightly when she mouthed the words back at me with an air of puzzlement and wonder, then a second time in realization. She understood me.

Emily let go of her hand and nudged her forward, but the female had no need to be pushed towards us. Her face fell into a bright, ridiculously happy smile: the joy in her face was radiant, her enthusiasm a drastic change from mere moments before.

She only took a few steps forward in order to cross the boundary, but her swift gliding movements were eager and curious. I stretched out a courteous hand towards her, a gesture meant to comfort – even if she didn't appear to need being comforted.

The female stepped right up to me, eyes widened in curiosity and that child-like happiness. An almost innocent joy spread across her face as she re-mouthed the words back to me, 'It's all right.' Three simple words made her so happy – had she been alone for a very long time? Was that why this communication excited her so much?

_Even if you can't hear her, Edward, she seems to have responded to you rather well._ Carlisle's thoughts echoed in my mind. _I hope she takes his hand. What can we do once we take her home? There has to be a way for her to talk to us. We can't just mouth things to her and hope she understands._

Thoughts of that nature flowed through my father's practical mind as he considered what we could do after this. But as far as I was concerned, only the present was at hand. I wasn't even considering the future at all: my singular goal was to get the female safely into our territory and to our home.

Already she was on our side of the boundary. The Quileute pack was easing away slightly, bit by bit, but only waiting around to make sure that the female would take my hand. Their plans were to leave after that.

The female wasn't aware of any of that. Her previous joy and wide eyes had turned to a slight frown and worried gaze. She was hesitating, hand slightly stretched out towards me yet remaining a foot away from my hand. Her eyes flickered between the appendages and my eyes.

"I won't hurt you," I told her slowly. She picked up on my words again, mouthing them back to me before the light in her eyes brightened once more. Again, she understood what I was telling her – and this time, she believed me. The female delicately laid her palm directly on mine.

An explosion rocked through my mind like a wildfire and a mind not my own, but more intensely projecting than any mind had ever been, slammed into mine. _I'm taking such a risk. What if he doesn't answer my questions? How do I know I can trust him? Why –…?_

The 'sound' of her voice was soft, but only those few words in my head stayed at a normal volume. From her mind, I heard those of everyone else around me repeated and turned up in volume.

_Bloodsuckers – what's he – I hope she – how are – they have – the boundary – trees – wolves – leeches – son – Emily – Alice – big – pack – too much –_ All of it, I heard by myself before it ran through her head, amplified to screaming in her panic and lack of understanding.

And it was incredibly painful.

Seconds after we touched, I pulled away – and my cry wasn't the only one to rip through the air. I collapsed on my knees, grasping my head between my hands…

The Treaty Boundary, 2007 – Isabella Marie Swan

The first thing I noticed about the strangers across the line from me was their unnatural beauty.

Each and every one of them was absolutely gorgeous. I couldn't tell who was the most beautiful, and nor did I truly try to see. I was far too busy being worried about my safety and why these people were taking me to the group of those who I could sense were like me.

There was a sense, an unknown feeling that I had, which told me that we were the same. Somehow, I just knew it. Their scent wafted towards me: it was strangely comforting, but I was still tightly wound and unnerved. I didn't want to get any closer to them than the line of trees – what if they hurt me?

The girl turned back to me when she sensed I wasn't coming. Her eyes met mine with a gentle reassurance that I couldn't help but feel from her. I saw her lips moving, making mouth-sounds of some type or another.

I edged backwards. I didn't know what she was saying, but I wasn't about to get close to those Others. I knew nothing about them: what if they tried to hurt me? A thought occurred to me: what if they were the ones who owned those gigantic things, the dangerous beasts that likely hurt the girl? I wanted to run away, live to see another day.

But the girl was holding hands with the leader man. She seemed perfectly fine with being so near those strange, beautiful creatures. And she was human: they were much more fragile than I was, as I already knew. Surely if she felt safe enough to stay here, then I should too…

So I stopped backing away from the glorious, angelic Others. I didn't move back towards them, in fear of my own life, of course. Nervously, I tried to stay in the same place and not move any which way just in case that drew their attention towards me.

But I could watch. I watched as mouth-sounds passed between the men and the wondrously beautiful people, as they said things to one another – things I didn't understand. I couldn't keep up with everything, and I didn't understand their facial expressions, either.

Then the leader man turned around and his eyes met mine. They weren't harsh or anything that bothered me: instead, they were almost kind, although pitying. I leaned forward on the balls of my feet, wondering what he was going to do. Was I to be included in these mouth-sounds again? Was more communication in store?

I thirsted for communication like it was blood from a human. I wanted desperately to understand. The leader didn't say anything to me, however: the girl took my wrist in her hand, gently pulling at me. She wanted me to come forward? I obeyed, trying to ignore the pangs of thirst beginning to well up within me again. I wasn't thirsty yet: I could handle it until I was certain that I was in safety.

I looked from the leader man to the girl, then those beautiful people as I walked forward: what was going to happen? Was the girl taking me to meet these people? Was that why I was being led forward? Whatever the reason, I willingly let her guide my steps forward.

The devastating beauty of each of them was something unique to behold: that was certain. They didn't appear to want to put me in danger, not in the least: indeed, as I began to take greater notice of each of them, I wondered if they would even want to hurt me.

One of the other females had long, shimmering blond hair that cascaded down her back, framed her beautiful face. A second female, a short, tiny one, had black hair that was incredibly short. I wondered why she had that style hair. Both girls appeared younger than the third, but I didn't look at her yet.

There were two other males with those females. One was incredibly huge, gigantic with thick arms and curly dark hair. The second wasn't humongous like the first, but he, too, was obviously muscular and blond-haired. They weren't as old as the leader, although they were older than the third male.

But my eyes darted straight to the third female. She seemed to be physically oldest of the females, and her hair was a beautiful color that I couldn't describe completely. A faint word echoed in my head – caramel, was it? Yes, that was the name: I had encountered other things of that color before, but never as rich as her hair. It was stunning.

It was then that the third male suddenly placed one hand to his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't stagger to the side or move in any which way – he just suddenly seemed to be in pain. It made me anxious and worried: what was happening? Why was he acting like that?

Was there some kind of unknown danger, after all? He seemed to recover, but I didn't know what he said. The mouth-sounds made no sense to me, as always, and I couldn't understand his lips moving at all. I wished that they would try to talk to me again.

The girl tugged me forward again: I supposed that everything was all right now. I had noticed the leader of the gorgeous people was watching me: his blond hair and gentle eyes were slightly unnerving. Why was he looking at me so kindly? I hadn't done anything to deserve it.

I let my eyes drift towards the last male in the group. For some odd reason, he held my attention. The gold of his eyes was gentle and his hair was the most interesting shade of gold and red, something that I could have named if I knew what it was called. He looked like the youngest of them.

But his eyes were so dark, his expression so flat – why was that? Had something happened to him, too? I paused, halting my steps: there was something wrong with the way he looked at me. As if he was dead inside, like he had no specific purpose…it frightened me.

I didn't understand why. I didn't even know him. I just knew that there was something in his eyes that made me feel like I had to help him, or stay away from him at any cost. Like he was dangerous. I wasn't even making sense to myself anymore, and I knew I was working myself up, but I couldn't help it. I just had a feeling…

He frowned, concerned – about me? I noticed him stepping forward, ever so slightly towards me. Gently: trying not to startle or scare me, I assumed. That was kind of him – he was trying not to make any sharp movements towards me. He must have known that I wouldn't react well to that.

His lips moved: my eyes zeroed in on them. Was he trying to tell me something? I was sure he was – but I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say. Almost unconsciously, I repeated the movements with my own mouth. What was he saying…?

As if a button in my brain had been switched, I suddenly understood. 'It's all right.' He was saying, 'It's all right.' I repeated the words again, exultant, euphoric in my newfound realization of words. I had been able to read his lips!

I could sense the human girl behind me, nudging me forward – but I was already moving towards him. The young, handsome man's eyes widened slightly as I came forward freely, overly eager since I had just discovered another few words to communicate with.

I couldn't help repeating the words once more when I came to a stop in front of him. 'It's all right'. To be able to comprehensibly communicate with someone else was a rare treat for me. I couldn't help feeling ecstatic and joyous, although I knew it had to startle him.

It showed in his eyes. They flashed with the success of getting me to come towards him, to get me to understand that he wouldn't hurt me. In my eagerness to be closer to one of the beings that had been able to pull me into communication, I had forgotten my worries.

They came back to me as I sensed the humans moving back, just slightly – but enough to prove to me that they didn't want to be around here anymore. Why was that? Was I now in danger? Had they betrayed me to these beautiful people, handed me over for some reason I didn't know?

In the eyes of the male before me, I could see my own flickering indecision and worry: he was concerned about me, or if not me, something. I glanced between his eyes and his extended hand. My own was hovering in the air uselessly.

What did he want me to do? Take his hand? If so, what for? Why? For him to show that I could trust him seemed to be a logical explanation: could he tell that I was uncertain?

As I watched, his lips moved again. The gentle vibration in the air told me he was speaking in a low tone of voice, a gentle sentence. Again, I had to repeat his words myself: and they were reassuring. 'I won't hurt you.' So he did know I was afraid?

It all came down to this decision, didn't it? I had to chose – take his hand, or not. Yes or no. I hesitated barely – just barely – for less than a second. Less than that, even. I knew I was going to take a chance before I even considered not taking his hand.

Gently, I let my hand rest on top of his. For a moment, the world was silent. I knew I was taking a risk doing this: how did I even know if I could trust him? I had questions – what if he didn't answer my questions? And how did I know I could trust him? Why –?

Then the world exploded.

It was all in my head: noise and chatter and various tones and qualities. Tenors were different in each 'voice', bass and alto and soprano and sharp and hard and fast. It raced through my head at dizzying speeds: I tried to keep up with it all. I concentrated on all the voices I could hear…

_Bloodsuckers – what's he – I hope she – how are – they have – the boundary – trees – wolves – leeches – son – Emily – Alice – big – pack – so painful –_

Too much! It was too much!

I tore my hand away and felt two similar disturbances in the air. But I could care less: all that mattered was the massive rush of information in my head, the multitude of sound – sound – when, for the past who-knew-how-long, I had lived in complete silence.

The barest hint of actual sound would have been earth shattering to me – and just now, I had heard voices. Many of them: more than one. I couldn't count how many. My hands were twisting through my hair, trying to hold steady around my head. I was shaking all over.

I could feel vibrations in the air around me: I didn't want to be caught off guard. And the shock was wearing off, anyway. I lifted my head, peering through clumps of my hair that had fallen in front of my face.

The female with black hair and the large male were pulling the male I had touched to his feet. The other four beautiful people were staring alternatively between the man and me – I felt shivery underneath the angry glares they sent me. Did they think I had done something on purpose?

Moments later, I saw the male open his mouth and begin to say something – was he explaining that something strange had happened? Was he telling them it was my fault? It didn't appear so – the glares sent my way diminished and turned to confusion, and a hint of sympathy.

I could sense the humans to my other side, and knew they were keeping completely silent – simply observing what was happening. I chanced a glance at them – their eyes darted everywhere, as if they wanted to leave, but were afraid to. Why was there fear in their eyes when they looked at me?

As if by another sense, I felt an odd…something. When I turned my head slightly, I met the eyes of the male I had touched and scooted backward in surprise. He had moved closer in those few moments I had looked away. And he was reaching out towards me, gently, palm down –

Then it wasn't his hand anymore.

It was that of a female, with daggers for nails and red eyes and I caught a shadow, highlighted on the wall, of wild hair – and instinctively, I ducked. I covered my face with one arm and quailed in fear.

There was a sense of 'repeat' playing in this scene: when I peeked under my fingers, I saw that his eyes were still locked on me. But his hand had lowered to the ground, his eyes turned sad and disbelieving, and a frown solid on his face. Why did everyone seem to have that reaction to my tremors of memory-induced fear?

His lips moved again, slowly and carefully. He was repeating 'I won't hurt you'. I recognized the movements. I nodded my head slowly, to show that I understood, and allowed my arm to uncover my face. I didn't want to make him think I was afraid of him: I truly believed that he wouldn't hurt me. Not by choice.

In fact, I didn't think he understood what had just happened, either. I knew I didn't in the slightest. Why had the voices echoed through my head so strongly? Was it just because I was unprepared? …What would happen if I touched him again?

I was sure I was only considering it because I hadn't been hurt the first time we touched. It had only startled me, very strongly: but if I was correct in assuming, it had hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him, even though I wanted to test it out again.

What had I done last time…? I hadn't done anything except concentrate on all the voices I could hear. Maybe if I didn't focus on them…

I knew it was irrational, and impulsive: my urge was brought on by my desperate need for communication and some type of conversation. And my eagerness to hear again also played a part in it – I didn't know if I was truly hearing or if it was all in my head. I just knew that I selfishly wanted all of that again.

So, taking the male completely by surprise, I shot one hand out as fast as I could and grabbed his hand in mine. He jerked back in surprise, but I held on tightly, struggling not to concentrate on the voices that I could hear – they sounded startled, angry now.

_Don't concentrate, don't concentrate on them_ I reminded myself, struggling to stay calm. I closed my eyes in concentration, trying not to panic as I heard only other minds around us. They were thinking things about me, angry words because I was touching this male. Just think about my own thoughts –_ will this work? What's happening? Why am I doing this?_

And to my complete, utter shock, one voice became louder than the others. A soft, gentle whisper still, but more…concentrated, more in my head, than any of the other voices. He was uncertain, just as confused as the rest of them around us. _What are you doing? Who are you?_

My eyes flew open to connect with his golden eyes. _He hears me? You hear me? Isabella, Bella Swan. Who are you?_

_I can hear you. How is that possible? I couldn't before… Edward. My name is Edward Cullen._

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**_A/N – I'm sorry for cutting it off here. But I just can't go on any longer! You need your update, I need to do my homework, and I can't go on any more or I'll write the entire next chapter right now! I hope that you liked it – I enjoyed writing it a ton!_**

**_Thanks for reading!_**


	6. Introductions

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series an am not Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**A/N – Hi! Enjoy! (I think this is my shortest A/N…ever!)**_

_**UNBETA'D. Because I can't seem to find my beta at the present moment, I decided to post this now, and when Lhiannon gets back to me, I'll replace this chapter with the Beta'd one. So, sorry this took a while:) I hope you enjoy the chapter anyway!**_

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"_In the light of the sun, is there anyone, oh it has begun…_

_Oh dear, you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed_

_This world you must have crossed, you said…" _

_**"Boston" by Augustana**_

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**Chapter Six – Introductions**

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The Treaty Boundary – Isabella Marie Swan

This couldn't be real.

But it was. It was actually happening. I could actually hear him, in my head. I didn't know what I was doing – and how could I be sure that he wouldn't be mad at me? Did I even know if I could hurt him again, unintentionally? I could hear the rest of his group – their minds were angry that I was touching him. They thought I would hurt him again.

_As long as you don't concentrate on all of the thoughts at once, like you did last time, it won't hurt me. And I would not be – am not – angry with you_. I could feel his voice, barely brushing against my mind with a purposefully gentle caress. His words brought me comfort.

As I watched, his lips parted and he spoke. "It's all right: she won't hurt me. She didn't mean to the first time." His voice was just like the rest of him – gorgeous. The sound of it was smooth and velvet.

I heard various voices that obviously weren't out loud – because I didn't see anyone's lips move. The murmurings all sounded alike – the group that Edward belonged to accepted his words matter-of-fact and waited, curious and patient, for him to tell them more.

Only then did I realize it: he spoke. Out loud. And I understood – no, not only understood. I heard him.

My mind felt like it was reeling from the new information constantly pouring into it. How could I hear him speak? How could I understand his words, and hear them out loud? I heard him as clearly as if I had always been able to hear.

His golden eyes were soothing, trying to comfort me. _I'm sorry – I didn't mean to startle you. That was unexpected: I didn't realize that you'd hear me then, too._ I nodded in understanding, showing him that it was all right.

Neither of us had so much as expected this conversation would take place. I had never expected to meet anyone, ever. Period. This encounter was so strange and fascinating that I couldn't help but pray that I didn't have to leave these…Others…behind.

There was nowhere else I had to be, of course. There was nowhere for me to go. There was no unknown destination that I was slowly and steadily making my way towards – at least, not anymore.

Obviously, this had been a destination that I was completely unaware of at the time of my arrival in this small radius of land. An unexpected encounter with Others – whom I was reasonably sure were just like me – was a truly exciting event.

_Don't you know what you are?_ One of his eyebrows rose. _You are all alone, aren't you? There was no one you were traveling with? A true feral, then – but is she like Alice, or not?_ I had a feeling that he hadn't meant to direct that last thought to me, and tried to refrain from commenting on it.

_I thought I knew._ _Vampire._ I remembered what I had seen when I first awoke – blood stained on the wall, the overwhelming brightness of the light outside the cave, and the shadowy trees outside of where I had lain on stone for what had seemed like an eternity.

The startled, wide-eyed look that he had been giving me melted away – but I didn't know what the look on his face was. I couldn't name it. _You're right. We are vampires. And so are you._ I was right?

Suddenly, an image flashed through my mind's eye. It was like I was remembering something, yet at the same time, I knew it wasn't my memory. It had to be this 'Edward's'. And I had a strange sense of déjà vu, like I was looking at someone I knew.

This female that he was remembering, or thinking of, was just as hauntingly perfect as the rest of his group. Her hair was a mass of twisted strands, and her gown was torn and dirty. And her eyes were the oddest reddish-gold color, almost like Edward's eyes, but not quite. The female's eyes were redder.

_You don't even know what you look like? _Another expression passed over his face as I watched, another one I couldn't name.

But I wasn't focused on what his face looked like. I was struggling to comprehend what he had just insinuated – that was me? That was what I looked like? I look almost like the rest of his group.

_My family,_ Edward smiled as he corrected me._ I should introduce her to them. We should be leaving soon as well. The wolves won't like us being near their land for much longer. And Esme is eager to get her home._ I didn't think he was trying to make me hear those last few thoughts.

_Esme?_ I wondered whom he meant. I was almost positive that 'Esme' was a female name, and I wondered who she was. Which of the three females was she – the one who was clearly the most beautiful? The smallest, dark-haired one?

However, I wasn't given a chance to ask, for he carefully and lithely stood, grasping my hand firmly but gently in his. _Can you stand? I promise they won't hurt you_. Again, I heard a few thoughts he didn't seem to specifically want me to hear. _Will she be afraid of them? Does she trust me?_

He made a valid point, but somehow, I already knew that I trusted him. No one had hurt me yet – except for the brief mental turmoil, but that seemed to have hurt Edward more than it did me. Shifting my weight to my feet, I accepted Edward's help as he pulled me up.

From my new perspective, I was startled to find how short I was compared to him. When Edward had crouched in front of me, there was a height distance only because I was kneeling, unlike him. Now, I saw that the top of my head barely reached his shoulder.

His lips flexed into a crooked, handsome smile that oddly fit, that automatically made me feel at ease and want to smile back. _You're taller than Alice._ I was almost certain that he was 'teasing', but I couldn't be sure. Sometimes, I had a feeling the words I associated with things weren't completely right.

But that had been my old life. Right here, and now, standing in front of Edward with my hand enclosed delicately inside of his long-fingered and gentle one, I had a feeling that my old life was undeniably over._ I think it's safe to say that, Bella. Esme would never let you leave our home, if it was up to her._

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, and then glanced over to his family. _Who is Esme? And for that matter, is that Alice_? I raised one hand, pointing to the shortest girl, before looking back at Edward's face. _You said she was shorter than I am_. The tiny girl seemed shorter than me, but suddenly I wondered if she really was.

When I turned back to look at her, I was surprised to see her face almost glowing from the brilliant smile adorning her lips. Something had made her indescribably happy: she was bouncing slightly, on the balls of her feet.

Then her lips opened. "Did she just say something? What did she say, Edward?" _Was she asking about me? How are you talking to her, exactly? Can she hear me, too?_

My first thought was: _so many questions_. Then: _I can hear others speak out loud, too? And their thoughts? This is so confusing…_ Edward was trying to hide a smile when I stared up at him, knowing that my eyes had to be wide. I was so confused by this new turn of events.

What was the limit to this strange ability? How could I hear and understand everyone's words? These, and countless other questions, felt like they were banging around in my head, intent on bothering me to no end.

_Don't worry. I have a theory – but we can figure this out together. I'll help you, Bella. You don't need to be alone anymore_. His words soothed me, but I still felt a twinge of aggravation: I couldn't pinpoint the emotion in his eyes. It bothered me.

Edward tore his eyes off of mine then: I hurriedly prepared myself to hear again. To my joy, my hope wasn't in vain. "Yes, she did say something. I – I can hear her. When we touch," he added. _I'm the only way she can communicate with them._

It seemed like he had just realized this, and the thought hit something in him. He glanced back down at me. _I don't know that for sure. She might be able to communicate like this with any one of them_. This seemed to reassure him. I need to introduce her to them.

I didn't know why that was reassuring to him, but I did know that I was already eager to know who these people were. Meeting new people was such a thrilling experience, and even though I was wary of any danger, it was undermined by my desire for communication of any kind.

Edward kept his eyes set on mine and turned his body slightly, so it was facing me more than it had been. And he began backing up, tugging at my hand with his. Leading me forward – and I complied docilely, trying to stay calm.

I already trusted Edward even though we had only met a few minutes ago. I allowed him to pull me closer and closer to his family, trying to stay calm. My natural compulsion, hammered in after such a long time by myself, was to run from the large group.

Two things stopped me. The first was that there was nowhere for me to run to…and the second was Edward's gently hold on my hand. Of course, the unexplainable, sudden comfort I felt as he led me up to his family also helped. I wondered about the reason behind that until my excitement at the prospect of meeting new people came back to mind.

He came to a halt several feet in front of them, giving me plenty of space. I knew that he had pulled the compulsion to run from my mind, and surprisingly, I was grateful that he had. It was so kind of him to think of my worries when we'd just met._ I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Bella._ I smiled to him slightly, in apology: I hadn't meant to insinuate that he would. _It's all right._

The closest person to me was the short, dark-haired female – whom Edward still hadn't named to me. _I apologize, Bella: I hadn't realized that I had forgotten. This is my sister, Alice._ I raised an eyebrow at him. They looked nothing alike, except for the pale skin. Was there something else I wasn't seeing between all these people – who were supposedly also vampires? An entire family, vampires?

_None of us are related in the ways that humans would consider. We were all born in different time periods, although some of us are older than we look. But we are all family,_ he assured me: his eyes were dark and serious.

I turned my head to look at each of them in turn. Who is who? He seemed to hesitate for a minute, and then decided something that I only got the faintest hint of thought on before it was being executed. He decided to speak out loud. I didn't mind: I liked being able to hear, period, but I also had to admit that his voice was nice, soothing – all soft and comforting and…velvet, I think it was called. That fabric…velvet…

"This is my sister, Rosalie, and her husband, Emmett…my sister Alice, and her mate, Jasper…my parents, Esme and Carlisle. Carlisle is the leader of our coven." He pointed to each person with his free hand. "This is…Isabella – Bella."

When introducing me, his other arm was by his side, no longer pointing to whom he was naming. I could feel his gaze on me as I watched everyone else, my eyes skimming over each person. And I could hear each of them wondering things about me – where I had come from, where I was headed, why I was in the Quileute territory…

I had no idea what 'Quileute' meant: I just knew that I was curious about each and every one of these members of Edward's family, and I wanted to ask them all the questions that they wanted to ask me – except with variations, of course.

Running over everyone in my mind again, I repeated name after name as I looked from face to face. Rosalie was the tallest female: Alice was, indeed, the shortest one: Esme was the third and final female.

Emmett was the largest of the other three males, and Jasper actually seemed related to Rosalie. Their hair was the same shade of gold. Carlisle was the one who looked the oldest, and the one in the center of the group. There was a feeling about him that was one of authority – and kindness.

_He is kind – a wonderful father, a compassionate person. He's a great man._ I could tell that Edward meant every word he said – not that I thought he would lie to me. There was just a sense of deep, firm resolve in his voice, which said his mind was made up about the topic.

Alice stepped forward – but her movements were far too fluid and graceful. She didn't seem to be walking across the ground, but rather, floating over it, drifting on air currents. I felt momentarily self-conscious, remembering what I had looked like through Edward's eyes.

_We could care less what you look like, Bella_. His words were a gentle rebuff. _You've obviously been through a lot, for however long you've been a vampire. Would you like to come to the house with us?_

House? What was that? What did it mean? I wanted to ask him, but at the same time I felt a compulsion to watch Alice. She was right in front of me: smiling brightly, she held out her hand to me. She wanted me to place my other hand in it…I thought…I wasn't that good at reading other's body language.

_She does want you to take it_, Edward reassured me. _But if you want to wait until we reach the house, you can. She wants to know if you will be able to talk to her mentally, like we are now. Or if your ability is somewhat different._

I heard all of that in her mind, but it wasn't my main concern of the moment. I didn't know what he meant by 'my ability', but I did know that I didn't want to test out whatever it was here. I wanted to see this house that he was talking about.

_To the house first, then_. He made a sound – it felt like one of those vibrations that the big-clawed animals I hunted made, but different. The air felt different with his sound, and I heard it as well. The strange noise also caused him to smile.

"What? Was is it?" _Did she say something funny_? Alice glanced between her 'brother' and me. I blinked back at her: her hair was interesting. Why was it so short? Belatedly, I realized that her hand had fallen, but she didn't seem hurt by my inaction to take it. Why?

"Not really," Edward answered. "She is, however, interested in continuing this discussion at our house." I watched him as he spoke, finally able to connect the sounds and the lip movements and the vibrations. Another wondrously fascinating concept…

"Very well." Blinking, I followed Edward's gaze to the leader. Carlisle. Edward had been speaking directly to Carlisle, the leader of the family. Was that how it worked? The leader made the overall decision? Somehow, that inference felt…right. Like it was another shadow of thought…

Like it was another memory I couldn't fully remember and comprehend. The girl with the scars on her face! I had forgotten about her and those other males in the sudden dawning of realization.

I turned around, eyes intent on finding them – but to my surprise, they were gone. They had disappeared. Why had they disappeared? I didn't get the chance to say goodbye – I didn't get the chance to smile one last time, to thank them for their help. Why?

_They're not like us_. Turning all the way around, I stared at Edward: my eyes were filled with unshed tears. Tears never came for me – another 'why?', another unanswered question. There were so many of them that I had never gotten to, and might never have asked…if it weren't for Edward.

I should feel grateful that I had run across him. I should be thankful that I had this opportunity to converse and actually hear, for the first time – and I was saddened by the inability to say a farewell? There was so much for me to be thankful for, and he was the reason why.

_That's not entirely true, Bella. I'm not that great or wonderful_. He shook his head. _And, to answer your question, vampires can't cry. Our bodies are frozen in time forever, and all our bodily fluids are gone. And the Quileutes – they're werewolves. They don't like vampires. You're incredibly lucky they didn't kill you._

Only new doors were opened, even as a select few were closed. Vampires couldn't cry: I had no normal body fluids. The Quileutes were werewolves and didn't like vampires, which was the reason why I wasn't able to say goodbye.

But… 'werewolf'? What was that? And they would have killed me? Could humans kill a vampire? I still didn't know if I was immortal or not, if I could even be killed. I had been careful for as long as I had been alive, but was that enough? How could I even be killed, if I could die?

_You have so many questions_. Edward sighed, shook his head, and stepped forward again, pulling me forward and closer towards his family. I allowed him to do so, trying to fight a smile: as much as he would have hated to admit it, I could tell that he was secretly enjoying the attention I could give him.

Then again, I was entirely dependant on him. Maybe he just liked to help people a lot – that would explain it better than Edward actually liking my questions. I wouldn't understand why he would, if he did.

The female Edward had named as Esme came up beside me, smiling in a welcoming way. I shyly returned the gesture, to be rewarded with a wider, brighter smile. _Oh, the poor dear! She's rather small: I don't know if I'll have any clothes in her size. Maybe Alice will have to go pick some up for her._

Something odd happened. I knew it was from Alice, but I didn't understand what was happening. I stared at her as her eyes seemed to lose all life and she stilled: it only lasted for an incredibly short amount of time. But an image appeared in her head.

_A brown-haired female with strange men's pants on – a red gown, but it was missing the skirt and was in a different style – a black corset – Ooh! I'm going shopping for Bella!_ " I know just what to get her!" Alice smiled brightly, looking at me with an appraising eye. "I think she's about a size…no, that dress is in the way. I can't measure her with that on!"

"Well, you're not taking it off of her here," Edward shot back, raising an eyebrow. _We should get her to the house. She needs rest._ I did? That was news to me. But he probably knew more than I did – I had to trust him.

Carlisle announced, "We'll meet back up at the house." Almost immediately, Edward's brothers and sisters disappeared into the trees at a run. When Edward stepped forward, I knew that we were going to be running as well.

I didn't want to let go of his hand, but I knew that it would be hard for us to run side by side if I didn't let go. I would have to run behind him, following in his footsteps, for I didn't know the way and thus couldn't run in front of him.

_I won't let go of you,_ Edward promised just before we took off. I smiled and nodded, acknowledging that I had heard him. It wasn't as if I couldn't have heard him, and he knew it, but I just felt like I had to do something to show that I had heard him.

Trees passed around us at a quick rate the instant we started running. A part of me wished that I could reach down and feel the ground: it was very odd for me not to have a map of the land in my mind.

_You can sense things like that? Just touch the ground and you can see it_? Edward shot a surprised glance at me over his shoulder.

Of course I could. _Can't all vampires do that_? Or was I an anomaly now, because of this one little thing?

_Oh, you're quite different from any other vampire I've ever met, for many reasons. But this ability of yours… Well, Carlisle theorizes that all vampires carry a single enhanced trait with them from their human life. What it is, varies, depending on the vampire_. We jumped over a fallen log. _For instance, I can read minds. You are a special case in my talent, however_.

_I am?_ Was I affected by his mind reading differently? And what other things made me different? I barely sensed Carlisle and Esme pass around us, darting through trees to my right side. I was so focused on my conversation with Edward that I was actually trying to ignore my surroundings.

_I've never been able to speak to anyone in my mind before, and I can only hear you when we're touching. I think that there might have been something in your human life that affected not only your hearing, but also your sense of touch. Your hearing obviously wasn't fixed, so maybe there's something that was enhanced in your sense of touch, to something much more…_

How interesting… The things one could learn with the ability to talk to others were astounding. For the first time in so long, I actually understood things and someone was teaching them to me. It was a surreal experience, and I had to wonder if it was real.

_It can't be a dream_, Edward thought: there was an edge in his tone, one that was harsh. I didn't like hearing it. _Vampires don't sleep. One of the many things that we left behind in human life, along with our souls…_

That was troubling. I knew what a soul was: it was one of the few concepts I understood. But I was soulless? That was new. I had never known that about myself. I felt my heart sinking, and my feet became weighted down. I didn't think I was a bad person…

I could sense Edward's panic before he was even thinking coherently to me again. _No, no, Bella, don't worry like that. Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any pain whatsoever. It's simply my opinion. Ask Carlisle, and I'm sure he'll give you thousands of counterarguments against my belief…_

Now I was confused. _So you believe that, but you don't want me to? Wouldn't it apply to me, if it applied to you?_ For that matter, why did he think that? Such a harsh, cruel way to think of yourself…

_Well, I – suppose so, Bella. I just…I believe that we've lost our souls once we became vampires. We have to drink blood to survive: I can't think of much else that would be more evil than that_. He spoke so matter-of-factly that I didn't think there was any way I couldn't believe him.

He was eager not to make me feel bad along with him, even as he thought things that were bad for him. _I simply believe this because I've murdered, Bella – I've killed humans, and I felt no remorse. I came back to Carlisle, and our way of life, because I couldn't handle taking deaths any more. It caught up to me. But I think that I've successfully ruined any chance I have of getting into heaven_. His tone was attempting to be light.

He was trying to joke, when he'd just dropped a revelation like that on my head? I could hardly believe it. _I've taken so many human lives myself. That makes me evil? I never realized – I would have tried to feed from the other creatures more – I could have made myself stick to the forests…_

Remorse filled my head, and it was a struggle to keep up with Edward while we ran. If I had just known, I could have saved myself – but then again, I didn't even know what from. I knew 'soul', but… 'heaven'?

_No, Bella, no, I didn't know. I didn't realize…_ He was backtracking again. _You – you're different. You've been stuck in a world where you had no one to help you, no way of knowing that the people you drank from – that those you killed – were others that you didn't…need to kill to survive. You didn't realize there was another way._

_But I did_, I argued, scowling at the back of his head. I knew there were creatures in the forests that I could hunt – the ones with claws, the ones that slunk around on all fours… I brought up their images, remembering what they looked like. _I knew there was another way – I just didn't follow it._

_You couldn't have been expected to know,_ he countered. _You did what you needed to in order to survive, and there was no way for anyone to tell you that it was wrong, that it could hurt you and your soul. You can't be punished for not choosing to drink from bears and wolves all the time._

His words made me feel better. They made sense, but I still felt terrible that he thought of himself in such harsh terms, despite all that he had rationalized for me. It was like me had made exceptions for me, yet I knew that he didn't see it that way.

And thus, I decided that I couldn't, either. Besides, what was the use? I doubted that he would listen to me. I had a few more questions now, as well – such as what these 'wolves' and 'bears' were. _Are those the creatures that I showed you in my thoughts?_

_Yes. Those animals are called bears and wolves_. Accompanying each name was an image, so I knew which was which. It was odd to finally have names for them, and at the same time, I felt joy at the reception of more information.

He made the sound again: I heard it from his mind, but the vibrations were lost to the wind, left behind and hovering in the air. He glanced back over his shoulder at me, with an odd look in his eyes. _You don't even know laughter or sadness?_

Sadness – yes, I knew that. I understood._ But what is laughter? The sound you made?_ And why I couldn't I decipher the emotions on his face? 'Sad' should have been relatively easy, considering that I knew what it was. But it was hard to tell what emotions were playing out on his face – probably because I was distracted by my new ability to 'hear'.

_Yes. That's laughter_. He felt sadness for me – because I didn't know what it was? Why was laughter important? I was about to ask him when I noticed that he was slowing down, and another question popped into my head. He answered before I could directly think it. _We've reached the house._

We had? Eagerly, I peered around his shoulder to see the trees ahead. Only a few thick ones stood between us and a more sparsely planted section of trees. The gigantic trees that thrust up towards the sky shaded the wide space.

A large white structure rose amidst the trees and directly in front of it stood six beautiful, pale people whom Edward called his family.

* * *

**_A/N – Bella's at the Cullen house:) I wanted to get up to this point in this chapter, and I'm glad I met my goal! Hopefully this wasn't too repetitive for you: I know I restated a lot, but I'm trying to keep Bella's thinking very simple and almost sporadic, because she's been alone for so long and doesn't know very much about her world since her memory is damaged. I hope I've also met that goal:)_**

**_Thanks for reading!_**


	7. Viewpoint

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series an am not Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**A/N – I changed the song. :) I only wrote the lines that I thought fit here. The entire song fits in with this story, in my opinion, and if you want to see how, check out my LiveJournal account. I posted a complete dissection of the song, to how I see each line as fitting with this Fanfic. **_

_**Because of **_**Lost and Never Found**_**, you all get some more of Edward's point of view, thanks to the idea that came from them. :) Thanks again, **_**Lost and Never Found**_**! And many thanks for all of the reviewer's support of the previous chapters. I hope you enjoy this newest chapter!**_

**B/N – _Still MIA. I will be replacing this chapter when she sends it back, too. Enjoy!_**

* * *

_"Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own……_

…_If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Seven – Viewpoint**

* * *

The Cullen House – Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

Her eyes were wide as she took in the house. I watched it through her eyes, her mind, and gave her an interior monologue as she gazed upon everything. _The porch wraps around all of the first floor. Esme chose the white paint, and designed most of the remodeling that took place. There's a window on the southern wall – most of the wall is, in fact, a gigantic pane of glass. There are three stories._

Her oddly colored eyes flew back to mine. _It's beautiful. Do you all live here? What about me? Am I going to be able to stay? The house is so beautiful. _Her thoughts ran fast, and just like me, she was unused to someone being able to see every tiny thought that passed through her mind.

_Thank you. Yes, we all live here. And you can, as well._ Her eyes widened in shock. _I'm sure Esme and Carlisle will offer you a place among our family, but even so they'd hardly toss you out of the house without at least helping you get on your feet. They aren't that kind of people. _

I could sense that Bella would want time alone in her head to think about that particular revelation, and so did my best to distract her. _Come on. We can enter through the front door, just over there._ I began gently pulling her towards the house.

She followed easily, like a newborn puppy being pulled on a leash. She was naïve, innocent in far too many ways. It was dangerous beyond belief for her to be alone in the world, deaf and isolated. As a vampire, that danger was lessened, but not by much.

All kinds of trouble could befall her if she were left to wander alone. I was glad that she had run across my family: I didn't like the thought of Bella being alone. The world could be so cruel, especially to a young woman like her, lost and confused.

I could feel her eyes on the back of my head. _Thank you. I've never heard anything so kind before. Then again, I've never heard before…_ I grinned, glancing over my shoulder. "Oh, really?"

_Yes, really,_ she smiled back, shyly allowing her lips to curve into natural, graceful arcs. _Your voice was the first sound I've ever heard, but not really heard at the same time. My ears don't work, yet I can hear you. Why is that?_

_I'm not sure. I must speak with Carlisle. _We had just entered the house: my family was being respectfully quiet, allowing me to speak with Bella without interruptions. I could still hear them in the background, a faint buzz: the most common thought was what to do now. She was in our house: now what?

I pondered it for a moment as we came to a halt in the main room, the entrance to our house. I wished to speak with Carlisle, but I didn't wish to make Bella feel alienated by our discussion, as if she were an object, not a person. And I knew that Esme wished desperately to get her out of those ancient clothes and into something cleaner…

_Clean? What's wrong with my gown?_ Bella frowned, abruptly drawing her gaze away from the room: she had been looking at her surroundings. She blinked at me, and then looked down at herself, holding her arm away from her body.

Stray tatters of cloth hung limply from her arm as she lifted it, and the ill-fitting and well-worn fabric shifted on her skin. A small hole became larger as I watched, exposing her knee. _That would be one problem. I'm surprised that it hasn't fallen off of you completely yet._

Bella's lower lip pushed out into a pout. _But my gown…it's the last thing of my own that I have. There's been so much time without anything…_

Instantly, I felt terrible again. Of course she felt that way: hadn't I already thought about how she must feel? I felt as horrible as I did on the way here, during our talk when I inadvertently slipped up in my thoughts and words. I had been so cruel to her, and backtracking was hard.

_No, don't. It's all right._ And now she was trying to comfort me? She smiled faintly, running one hand delicately over the cloth strapped to her wrist as she held our entwined hands up higher. _I understand what you mean, through your eyes. And…that female, Esme's…_

Of course. My mother had been thinking about what a pity it was for young Bella to be wandering around in such a sullied, shredded dress. I returned her smile, allowing myself to stop fretting. There was no taking back what was done.

_Do you want to allow Esme to help you?_ It certainly wouldn't be proper for me to help her. _If it would make you uncomfortable not to have me around, so soon after you were introduced to us, you don't have to right away._ Her ability to hear thoughts – or hear at all – would disappear once she released her hold on me.

She swallowed, glancing over to Alice, Rosalie and Esme in turn. _They're his family. He trusts them. I should be able to. They just want to help. I can hear that from them. I would hate giving up the new sense I have. But I can always come back. Right?_ She looked to me.

_Of course. _I would help her any way that I could. I was her only lifeline at the moment, but I knew that she would need independence. No one can live for eternity bound to hold the hand of another just to communicate. I didn't even know Bella, and I already knew that she would not like that.

_No, I wouldn't, _she agreed. Nodding with a sense of semi-finality, she abruptly unwound her hand from mine. Her eyes instantly darted to my family, waiting for Esme to come and take her away.

As soon as her hand was no longer touching mine, it was as if a door had closed over her mind. There was not a peep of sound from her anymore. I felt the loss even more sharply now that I had sensed her there, and could no longer feel her mind.

Strangely enough, my hand also felt empty without hers encased in it. The feeling mostly came from the knowledge that I was her only line to communication: without me, she wouldn't have been able to 'say' a word to anyone. That responsibility hung heavy on my shoulders.

I didn't want to leave her alone – for lack of a better way to say it – but I also felt relief that she was no longer touching me. I was not one for physical contact, after all. I felt guilty for being more comfortable without her touch and tried vainly not to feel it.

Jasper gave me a knowing look, but I shook my head slightly at him. We could talk as soon as Bella was being lead away to clean up. "Esme? Do you think you could take Bella to get washed up?" I asked my mother.

Esme was already stepping forward, stretching her own hand out to Bella. "Of course. Rosalie, will you help me?" _I know she wants to: she's just as curious as we all are. The poor girl is going to be the topic of so much thought and wonder, isn't she? Oh, no – will she be able to hear me, too?_

"I don't so," I murmured as Esme's hand wavered in the air for a second: luckily, Bella hadn't stretched out her own hand for a moment, almost as if she hadn't realized what Esme's was doing there. "I think it was because I can hear minds."

My mother nodded to me as Bella rested her hand lightly in Esme's. _No, I can't hear her. _She smiled at Bella, a gentle, motherly smile that was the epitome of her personality. "Hello, dear…come right this way…" She spoke clearly, moving her lips carefully.

Bella's eyes were glued to her mouth for several long moments, a crease in her forehead, before it cleared and a smile appeared on her face again. Delicately, her hand drifted to the longest remnant of skirt – one that hit mid-shin – and lifted it.

Almost like she was holding a long skirt out of the way, she allowed Esme to carefully and slowly lead her up the stairs. She looked away from my mother and to her other side, where Rosalie walked up the stairs beside them in quiet contemplation about this mysterious vampire.

Bella's movements evoked the barest whispering reminder of a young woman from my time period. Hers was just a bit statelier, more dignified than any young lady in my day, but the same sense of propriety was there.

This observation was enough for that idea that she was from at least my time – most likely even before – to form. I could feel a frown forming on my face as she disappeared up the stairs. I barely heard Alice's voice as she informed everyone she was going to go get clothes for Bella.

I came back to the situation at hand then, drawing my mind away from contemplations of how much older than me Bella had to be. Alice was skipping out the door when I called after her, "Only the basics right now, Alice! You should take her with you later for more!"

Alice waved her hand dismissively to me. I knew it was only because she didn't want me to see her pouting face. _But I know everything that she would look beautiful in! Oh, fine, I'll just get what she really needs, Mr. Grumpy Edward…you're so annoying when you don't get your way…_

I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes upon the closing of the front door. Seconds later, I heard Rosalie's car starting from outside. Turning around, I made my way over to the couch where my brothers and father were already seated and waiting.

Taking a seat and a deep breath, I began to tell them what little I knew about Bella…

* * *

The Cullen House – Isabella Marie Swan

The female named Esme had a welcoming, gracious smile as she held her hand out to me. I was hesitant at first, of course: I knew Edward very well now, but still not enough to completely trust him. Even though I had seen into his mind, I was still wary, just a little bit.

I felt bare and isolated once more without his comforting presence and touch. I had already become accustomed to hearing and handling all the thoughts and words that were floating on the air. It seemed like they had all just disappeared once my connection to him had broken.

But Esme had a nice face. She seemed kind, and Edward had referred to her as his mother. Even though he had explained to me that his family wasn't really related, I could sense the connections he had to all of them. They were deep, strong bonds. Interesting, complicated ones as well.

I didn't yet understand what caused such affection for these people, but I hoped that I would be able to understand in time. For now, though, I let Esme hold my hand gently in hers. I couldn't hear her thoughts like I could Edward's. I didn't feel anything different, either. That was fine by me.

My head just might explode from the amount of information I was packing into it now. After so long without having to struggle to understand things, with all the time in the world to do nothing at all, I was beginning to realize that there was something different about this place.

Lifting my skirt on reflex, I felt like sighing as I realized that there was barely any of it left. Had running really ripped away so much? The gown was mostly the growing-back strands now, and clung tightly to my body as I moved. I barely felt it, and didn't care.

Why should I care how tightly my clothes fit? Bodices were supposed to be tight: I hadn't had a tight corset since the day I awakened in the cave. My sleeves had always been slightly larger than they were supposed to be. I didn't know how I knew that: I just always had.

I knew many little things that I didn't really understand how I knew. I just…knew. A selective memory… I turned my head to the side when I sensed someone on my other side. The tall blond female was beside me – Rosalie. That was her name. I wondered where the third female, Alice, was.

Esme and Rosalie led me up to the second story of the house and down a long hallway. We stopped at a door, and Rosalie opened it. Esme pulled me inside and I was met with a stunning scene.

The room was large and rectangular, with glossy stones spread across the floor. They were smoothed flat and in perfect squares. In the center of the room, there was a small metal circle: the floor was slightly curved so that this circle was on the bottom of the curve. The walls were adorned with the same stones just on the lower half, and above that there was a strangely colored wood.

In one corner, a large, clear box stood. Metallic spouts attached to the wall were inside of it, and I noticed matching ones on raised sections of the floor. But the raised sections were as tall as my waist, and there was nothing underneath them. They stuck out of the wall, made of that same light stone.

And in another corner, there was a large rectangular slab of solid rock with a hollowed-out bubble in the middle. There was nothing inside it, and there were large folded squares of fabric hung over another metal rod on the wall. What was this room?

Rosalie headed directly to the large rectangle of rock. I could feel vibrations in the air and wondered what she was asking Esme. I watched Edward's mother as she replied: I couldn't understand the words that were coming out of her mouth.

I glanced back over to Rosalie, and I felt my jaw drop open in shock. She had turned one of the silver devices attached to the wall, and out of another came water! What was this? I remembered what Edward had told me: he had wanted to know if I wanted to get myself clean.

So how would I get clean by being in a room where water came from the wall? My feet carried me forward as I peered at the rounded-out rock in curiosity. Slowly, water was collecting at the bottom. Would it fill completely? Yes – that was how I would get clean!

Smiling, pleased with myself, I turned around to see what Esme and Rosalie were up to. I felt them moving around behind me when my back was turned as I stared curiously at the liquid collecting in the rock.

Esme was speaking to Rosalie: the blond was holding a large container in her arms. I saw several clear containers inside of it, and a few that weren't. They were all different colors, but none were especially brighter than natural.

Rosalie set the large container on the ground and pulled out four smaller ones. They were all roughly the same size and different shades of the sky – clouds, a clear day, a semi-cloudy day, and an early-morning sunrise, just before the first rays of light burst over the horizon.

Rosalie stood, clutching the container the color of early dawn. She opened it by pulling off the top: I followed after her, raising an eyebrow as she poured some of it into the hollowed-out stone that was filling with water. It had a scent – like summer rain and dew on grass in the morning. What was it?

I wanted to ask her what she was doing to the water, but I couldn't. I'd have to ask Edward later. Turning around for a second time, I met Esme's eyes to see if there was something I was supposed to be doing during all of this.

Esme walked toward me with careful, measured steps, and seemed to be gesturing to me. I stared at her for a moment, wondering what she was asking, before I remembered the second part of what Edward had said. Esme had to be asking if I needed help cleaning up.

Hesitantly, I nodded, gesturing to my clothes. Yes, I needed help. She raised an eyebrow, uncertain. I thought for a moment: I knew how to take the dress off. I just needed the buttons on the back to be undone.

So I turned around, lifting my hair and pulling it over my shoulder. Reaching behind me with my other hand, I pointed and poked at the few buttons that had clung stubbornly to my gown. I had lost many of them, but there were still several there.

Seconds later, I felt both of them behind me. Esme carefully began undoing my dress, and Rosalie moved around in front of me to inspect for more pieces of my outfit that needed to be undone before the gown came off. I assumed that was what she wanted since she quickly found the remaining strings of my corset and undid them.

Soon, the gown was being stripped off of my arms. It came off in chunks in their hands, and I tried not to brush off the remaining bits after Esme and Rosalie had stripped what they could away. I didn't like the feeling of just the last few remaining bits of my gown sticking to me.

Once they were done and backed away, Esme carrying the remains of my gown in her arms, I finally moved. Brushing frantically to get rid of the utterly odd feeling of the tiniest bits of fabric, I got the remainder of it off.

Then Rosalie gestured toward the hollowed-out stone, and walked ahead of me to stop the water flow. The water seemed relatively shallow, just enough to cover me completely if I laid down in it. Rosalie stretched out her hand to me, gesturing toward the stone again.

Well, the water seemed nice: there was a beautiful layer of misty fog rolling off of it, something that made me feel very much at home. I allowed Rosalie to guide me into the water, holding my arm for balance.

Tingles raced along my body as I sunk into the water, sitting with my legs stretched out before me under the water. The mist grew the moment I stepped into the water, and slowly began to fade away as I rested there.

The water all around my body was an interesting feeling. There had been many a rainstorm while I'd been out on my own, but this was an entirely new feeling. I liked it, and allowed myself to recline, resting my back against the cool, smooth stone.

My closed eyes sprung open when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Rosalie smiled softly down at me and held up one of the plastic containers, the one that was the plainest sky-color. There were strange symbols on it.

**Essential Herbal Shampoo **

**Made with All-Natural Materials**

I had no idea what they meant, and blinked at Rosalie in incomprehension. She smiled, shaking her head, and a smile appeared on her face. It was definitely not a happy smile: I was almost positive that it was a sad one.

She gently nudged my head back, so that it hung over the edge of the tub. I wondered what she was doing before she upended a container of water over my head and hair. Where had that come from?

I stayed in my position, leaning against the tub, as Rosalie used the contents of that container on my hair, rinsed it out with water, and repeated the process – two more times. I was almost positive that it was cleaning my hair.

Then she took a second one, the one that was the color of clouds. She worked it through my hair and didn't rinse it out right away. Instead, she picked up the last container. This one was smaller than the others, a little rectangular block.

She peeled off some thin layer – I wasn't sure what it was. The little block was scented, too, and matched the liquid that was in the water. It was that same rainy, dewy smell that I found comforting. It was like I was bathing in nature.

I didn't know what this was used for, however. Rosalie tried to hand it to me, and I took it: then I sat there, poking it with my fingertips. It was very soft, and molded neatly to my fingertips. I dunked it in water and it was a bit softer, so I soaked it again.

I would have loved to play with the new material in my hands all day, but just as I was about to dip it in the water again, Rosalie's hands stretched out to stop me. Looking up, I frowned: was I not supposed to be playing with it?

She shook her head, a smile lighting up her face. Instantly, I was curious. I knew those vibrations: Edward had made them. He had called them 'laughter'. Was this 'laughter' from Rosalie? Why?

Shaking her head again, she gently eased the soap out of my hands. I allowed her to, wondering what I was supposed to use it for if not to play with. Gently grasping one of my bare arms, Rosalie ran the soap lightly over my skin before placing it on the edge of the hollowed-out stone.

Then she began to rub where she had smoothed the soap, just over my forearm, and to my amazement, bubbles began to form. I watched in fascination, until she pushed my arm into the water and then pulled it out.

To my astonishment, my skin was paler – of course! She was washing off the dirt! The little rectangle was to wash the dirt off of my body. And I knew there was a word for it – it was there, on the brink of thought – but it wouldn't come. Whatever the rectangle's name was, I remembered what to use it for now.

Smiling to myself, I picked up the block and slowly began to wash myself clean of all the dirt on my body. It took a while to complete my task, but when I was finally done, the water was a murky, dark color and the rectangle was almost gone.

I saw Rosalie smiling again as she reached into the water at the far end of the stone and pulled something. Miraculously, the water began to drain out. I stood up, since all the water was gone, and Rosalie guided me to the middle of the room, right over where the small metal circle in the floor was.

There was a second container filled with water on the floor beside me, so I shut my eyes. The water flowed over my head, and when I opened my eyes again, Rosalie was lowering the container to the floor with a satisfied smile.

I smiled back at her, pleased that she was happy. Esme stepped forward with a large, cloud-colored flat rectangle of cloth and wrapped it around me. Even though I didn't remember the name of it, I knew what to do with it. Wiping away the remaining droplets of water, I then swung my hair up into the towel.

The movements felt natural, like I had done it before many times. Who knew? I probably had and just couldn't remember. Done wiping myself down, I wrapped the large cloth around my upper body. It covered me down to my knees.

There was a tremble in the air: Esme and Rosalie glanced toward where we had come in. I followed their gaze and smiled in welcome. Alice was coming in with a small bundle of cloth in her arms. I wondered what they were for.

She smiled back as she approached me: her lips moved and Esme stepped forward, taking Alice's load. Alice held out two tiny garments to me: one looked vaguely familiar, and the other rather scary. I had no idea what to do with them and opted for staring at her.

The time it took for them to put the garments on me was rather long. Eventually, however, I ended up clothed to their standards. I had to keep reminding myself that obviously, times had changed.

They had me wearing men's pants that were made of stiff fabric and clung to my legs. I felt almost naked in them. And they were the color of night, the darkest that the sky got when the sun went down. The pants came up to just under my belly button and were a little bit long, pooling on the floor.

For a top, Alice had pulled a small something over my head. There were no proper sleeves, and it just barely exposed my collarbone and the skin about two thumbprints underneath that. It was the color of the sky when the sun had just disappeared in sunset – when there was no longer a hint of fire in the sky. Almost like the sky, but darker.

Once I was dressed to their standards, Rosalie, Esme and Alice led me out of the room they had taken me into. Alice led the way downstairs, and Rosalie followed right behind her. To my surprise, Esme took my hand as we headed down the stairs. I deeply appreciated the gesture and clung to her hand.

The stairs seemed very short now. I allowed myself to be pulled in front of Esme as we converged on the spot where the males were seated. Edward's two brothers – Emmett and Jasper – had taken separate seats on large, cushiony-looking things. Carlisle, the leader, was sitting on a smaller one that plainly only had enough room for him.

And Edward was sitting on a much large, wider seat that looked like billowy, soft clouds. His hair glinted in the natural light that came from outside. The large window that framed a breathtaking scene was just behind him.

He stood up as Esme and I approached: Alice and Rosalie had taken seats beside Jasper and Emmett. His lips moved, and I knew that he had to be talking to Esme. I felt vibrations in the air as she replied, and allowed myself to watch her lips in curiosity.

I was frowning by the time she finished, for I couldn't understand a word she had said. In addition to that, the garment that Alice had made me wear over my chest was rather irritating. A corset, I could have handled. This thing that I didn't even know the name of, I did not think I was equipped to deal with.

Esme suddenly released my hand and I stopped shifting my shoulder blades, trying to find a way to settle the straps on my body so that they weren't so odd feeling. I glanced towards Edward and noticed that he was just lifting his hand toward mine. Maybe he could help.

Reaching out towards him, I twisted my fingers around his long, slim ones. It was just like I had remembered it: I could suddenly hear everything again. I let out a sigh of relief: I had rather missed the sense in the short time that I had been taken away.

My eyes met Edward's. He was smiling down at me. _You look very nice, Bella. Do you feel better now that you're cleaned off?_ He was leading me as he though, moving backwards and pulling me towards the place he had been seated.

_Thank you. I'd feel much more comfortable in a gown, though. I don't understand these new clothes. Which reminds me – can you fix this?_ I remembered the garment that Alice had given me to wear that was giving me such difficulty so I could show him what I meant.

I hadn't expected his reaction.

Every muscle in his body locked in place and he stopped moving. His eyes abruptly widened, exposing their interesting color completely to the light. His jaw dropped open. I stopped moving when he did, puzzled, until he gasped, "What?" out loud. He had forgotten that I could hear his thoughts.

_She wants me to fix that? I can't fix that! Alice – need Alice…_ "A-Alice…" he stuttered. I frowned. What was the problem? Why could he just fix it for me?

"Yes?" _What – oh my. She didn't. _"She just asked you that, didn't she?" Alice's face was stretching into a wide grin. I was sure that I had just seen a flash of blinding color coming from her instead of thoughts. I still had to ask what that was, later…

But Edward didn't seem to want to answer that. "Just…fix it for her, will you Alice?" _At least no one knows yet. Alice should be able to help her. _

I saw the biggest one, Emmett, open his mouth: I could tell he was ready to ask a question. But Alice beat him to it, decided to answer before he asked. Could she read minds, too? "Bella wants Edward to fix something for her." _Oh, Edward, the look on your face is priceless!_

"Fix? Fix what?" There was a smile, ready in place to jump on Emmett's face.

_Don't you dare –_ Edward thought as an angry tone came out of his mouth. "Alice –." There was a vibration at the same time he spoke that was almost like those that the bears and wolves made when I hunted them.

Alice was smirking already, reaching out towards me. "Her bra."

I frowned. Why was everyone succumbing to 'laughter'?

* * *

_**A/N – Yeah, sorry about that last scene there. It's just…I had that scene in my head from the moment I started this fic and I just had to put it in because it's just too funny not to..:) Anyway, I don't think it is in any way "mature" since a) everyone knows that girls wear them; b) it's not graphically put in, it's just a funny setup; and c) Bella doesn't fully understand a lot about this new world, and if she's used to the memory of corsets and gowns, she's not going too feel comfortable in one of those because she has no memory of them, and it's unfamiliar. So…yeah. I hope you found it funny, too!. :)**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	8. Learning

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N – Enjoy reading!**_

**B/N – **_**Yeah, Lhiannon is still missing in action. MIA beta means less prepared chapter, but I hope that I caught everything in my run-through. :)** _

* * *

"…_Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own_

_If I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes…_

…_If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Eight – Learning**

* * *

The Cullen House – Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

Relaying Bella's story to my family wasn't the hardest part of that long day. The hardest thing for me to do was question her – a steady stream of concerns and worries that I couldn't have stopped from bombarding her with if I tried.

She could hear every thought around us, and responded in her own unique, curious way. Even as I tried to stem the flow of questions, reduce the amount that she was receiving, I knew that she heard it all loud and clear in her head.

Thoughts became words that I conveyed to Bella, and she replied to both and I had to pass along the information once again. Coupled with her lack of knowledge about the world around her, the childlike naivety in Bella spurned more questions than answers.

We had to work together to piece together the scattered pieces of Bella's memories. I had the most insight, and so I was left to pull the most guesses out of the air. Often, I would lapse into silence, my eyes locked with Bella's as we struggled to figure out what her answers were.

And then there were the times that I was virtually a mouthpiece for her thoughts: I spouted them off almost at the pace she was thinking, making my words mirror images of the ones flowing through her head.

Finally, her tale had been unwound in its entirety – at least, what she remembered of it.

Bella didn't recall the exact date of her birth, and neither did she know what year it was. From her memories of clothing and building structures of her time, I estimated that she had been raised sometime in the 1800's.

She had awoken alone in a cave, in a forest area that I didn't recognize, myself. However, it had looked similar to a few other tree-populated areas on the east coast.

In addition to waking up alone, deaf, she had also awoken in what had to be the scene of her own murder. I could see the bloodstained floor and handprint-smeared wall from her mind.

From her first encounter with a human family, to her second, and then on through the years – restless, alone, isolated from everyone and everything in the world outside of her own mind… I was given the task of informing my family all of Bella's past.

She had encouraged me not to leave anything out. She wanted everything to be shared: Bella claimed that for her to trust my family, first they must trust her. I didn't fully understand her logic, despite hearing her thoughts constantly while we were touching, but I complied.

After the first few times she stopped me and made me include more of her words, verbatim, I began to instruct myself not to hold back the information. It was on her command, after all: I was following her wishes.

My uneasiness was wrought from past experience and habit. I had long since grown accustomed to hearing all the thoughts of my family members, and in order to keep myself sane and my relationships with my family at peace, I had long ago become used to censoring my words.

It was far too easy for a mind-reading vampire to reveal too much information by accident. I took special care to ensure that I wouldn't reveal anything that a family member wished to tell for themselves, or keep secret until a later and more private time could be booked.

In addition to her tale, Bella had me explain her ability to my family. It was slightly difficult to explain the image that came to her mind when she touched the ground, but I managed to convey the sense of radar, covering a certain distance.

My family was very interested in the extra sense that she had. Carlisle and I thought that the sensitivity in her fingers might be what allowed her to break into my mind. However, we weren't sure if it would work with Alice and Jasper. Bella immediately offered to test it out, but I believed it would be better for her to at least rest and relax before testing out her abilities. She reluctantly agreed with my logic.

Bella's story was complete in much less time than I thought it would take, and that could have been the end of it. I was sure that Bella would wish to rest for a while, take some time alone with only her own thoughts to worry over instead of seven other vampire's.

To my surprise, she was remarkably reluctant and insisted that it was my family's turn to tell her about themselves. I knew that I wouldn't have to speak, as she would hear every word and thought in her own head as long as we kept contact.

So I sat beside her, my hand locked firmly with Bella's as, one by one, my family offered brief synopses of themselves for her information. I had heard all of their stories before, and then some, so I was able to concentrate more on Bella than the stories.

She was a fascinating woman. Her keen interest and curiosity in this possible-perilous situation she was in were the fuel behind the flames of her childlike naivety about the world. She was delicate, and she seemed to learn very fast: already, she was beginning to feel more comfortable here.

The first fiasco of her private undergarments had served as a break in the tension that she, likely, couldn't sense. Jasper had kept the tension in the room low beforehand, but her innocent comment simply drove away all of the unnecessary worry.

Another worry had surfaced once Bella's story had been told – a concern about Bella, herself. Sympathy seemed to emanate in waves from their thoughts and actual emotions. I knew then that Bella would most likely be staying with us for the long run.

* * *

The Cullen House – Isabella Marie Swan

Edward had helped me tell my story to his family, and in return I received theirs. The knowledge pouring forth into my mind was surprisingly bearable: I would have expected it to be too much to take after all the years I spent by myself.

Instead, I was insatiable. I hungered for more – not necessarily stories from these kind people, but more just to hear words. Words of any kind, no matter how they were directed, were quickly becoming an addiction for me.

And the more I learned about the Cullen family, the more interesting they became. I began to wish that I could stay here, began to want to be with them. There was something so utterly attractive about their whole life that made me want to stay.

Edward heard my wishes, of course, and to my surprise he seemed happy that I wanted to stay. He promptly conveyed my message and the family responded with similar enthusiasm. Were they as enamored of me as I was of them? I could only hope so.

Eventually, I was pulled away from a general conversation as Alice eagerly bounced in front of me, stretching out a hand in welcome. She wanted to show me the house: I pulled Edward along with me as the short, beautiful girl led me on a tour.

The interior was beautiful and I felt so comfortable there, walking around the rooms with Alice as my unofficial tour guide. Edward offered his own steady commentary, both aloud in mouth-sounds and in the privacy of my own mind.

At the end of the tour of the rest of the house, I was taken back to the first floor and into another room. During our absence, strange rectangles had appeared, scattered on what Edward called a "table". And he also called the rectangles "books".

I soon learned what they were for, and what the family was planning for me.

They didn't want to burden Edward with being my ears and mouth – and I shared similar feelings. Jasper and Carlisle had left the house while I was being taken on the tour, while Esme and Rosalie had gone somewhere different.

I hadn't realized that the absence of their thoughts meant they weren't within the house. I had thought they were simply out of range, like things could be out of range of my fingers when they were pressed to the ground.

Now I realized that it was because they were actually gone. I had been alone with Edward and Alice during the slow walk through all the rooms in the house. The news was surprising, but I quickly let it fly from my mind when I realized that the books were for me.

With Edward at my side, I was seated at the table with the wide array of books in front of me. Carlisle had arranged them in neat piles, and Jasper was on my other side, ready to begin – if I was ready, he insisted. Of course I had been ready: I wanted to learn.

They dutifully began explaining what we were going to do. Edward had explained my memory to them, how I seemed to know things again once I caught another glimpse of them, and how I would sometimes know things without knowing how or why.

They had decided that their first task would be to teach me to read. Carlisle reasoned that if I knew how to read and write, I would automatically gain a limited amount of freedom for myself. And reading was an important skill for people in the world today: there was so much to read.

That was evident by the amount of books placed in front of me. My stomach twisted uncomfortably: what if I couldn't do it? What if I couldn't remember anything? A large book called a 'dictionary' was in Jasper's hand, and it was the one we were going to start with. What if I couldn't do it?

My fears were quickly abated.

Jasper and Edward went through the words with me, helping me to know what they said. Edward's mental recitation seemed to open up something in my mind, and before I knew it, I was flipping through the pages, faster and faster.

I knew these words. I knew what they meant, what they said and were. Each little letter was clear and vivid in my mind. How could I have forgotten to read? The written word was one of my favorite things to study – once upon a time. Long ago.

_That's something else you remember that you can't explain._ Edward's words were gentle like a feather against my mind. _I'm glad you've recovered something that you obviously held so dear._

I looked into his eyes, grateful and overjoyed: the finished dictionary was closed underneath my free hand. Sincerity rang in his every word: I beamed widely. _Thank you. I'm very glad, too._

After they knew I could read, Carlisle procured a nice, thick little notebook for me along with a pen. They weren't in a style that I was vaguely – and not at all clearly – used to, but they weren't completely alien to me. I could use them.

I tested them out, writing out "Thank you" as best I could. I barely remembered how to form the letters myself, but that skill came back to me, too. Edward made note of the calligraphic quality of my writing: it helped mark what time I was from. I was curious, instantly, about what else my little habits could tell them.

But they weren't done teaching me yet. Jasper had found some more books that he thought I might find of use, once I had mastered the reading and writing. I opened the pages of the first one to find diagrams of sign language.

This would offer me even more freedom than writing and reading. Eagerly, I scanned the pages of the book in front of me – and just like with the regular dictionary, snippets of knowledge came floating back into my memory.

_I knew these before. I learned these when I was human._ I held up my hand in front of my face, staring at it. In my mind's eye, I could see what looked like my fingers, signing in a ghostly form against the reality of my present sight.

Edward witnessed what I saw in my mind, the flash of my own hand before it was gone again. _I see – I saw, I suppose. How much do you know? Try. See if you can tell me something, even if I won't understand it._

I could hardly refuse his request. Steeling myself, I slipped my hand out of his grasp. The world around me instantly turned still and silent. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair – I would have to get used to slipping back into the silence of my world.

Turning to face Edward, I thought for a moment, concentrating on what I wanted to tell him. Finally, I settled on something.

Signing took a few moments as I waited patiently for my brain's signals to reach my hands. After a long minute, I found myself meticulously signing out "Thank you for all you have done for me," throwing in his name, "Edward". I would have to shorten that later, create a symbol for his name: for the moment, I had to use fingerspelling.

A crooked grin appeared on his face when I let my hands fall to my lap, showing that my message was complete. He held out his hand for me, and mine flew up with a mind of its own to flatten against his.

_What did you tell me?_ Edward asked, curious.

_Thank you for all that you have done for me, Edward._ I repeated, word for word, in my head. _You've already done so much, and I know that your family wants to help me so much. I can hardly believe it. You're all so kind to me._

For some reason, he began shaking his head, smiling to himself. "You're welcome here for as long as you wish. We want to help you, Bella." _There's no need to thank me for doing something that I want to do._

_But I do appreciate it. Very, very much,_ I replied. Looking down at the book in front of me, I closed it with my free hand. _Can you tell Jasper and Carlisle that I think I'll just need to brush up on all that I know from this one? That's going to take a little while._

_Of course._ "Bella will need to review the signs a few more times to fully bring it all back, but for the most part she can remember how to sign." He promptly conveyed my message as I locked eyes with first Jasper, then Carlisle.

They nodded, of course, and I could hear the relief in their thoughts. They were glad that I could already attain that much freedom and that it wouldn't take me a long while to learn. It wasn't that they wanted me gone: it was that they wanted me to be able to stand on my own two feet, and for Edward not to feel burdened to be my ears and mouth.

As that was a shared feeling, I glowed under their pride in the memories I had retrieved. I had only been with the Cullens for a few hours and already I was more put together, and I knew more than I had in years.

Edward and I went straight from Carlisle and Jasper's study session to Rosalie, Esme and Alice's explosion of activity. Rosalie had Emmett carrying things up and down the stairs, while Alice and Esme discussed fabrics and carpets.

I didn't understand what was going on and stared, bemused, as Alice and Rosalie rushed by me, thinking about some 'store' they had to get to. Beside me, I 'heard' Edward sigh. "Don't you think Bella deserves a little bit of choice about her room?"

_My room? What do you mean, my room? I don't have a room._ But a nagging feeling tugged at the back of my mind – I remembered our tour of the house.

Alice had been watching me very eagerly for something…and there had been a room right next door to Edward's that I had stayed in the longest, for the view was breathtakingly beautiful. I had envied his room, for he had the same landscape outside his window.

My feeling was confirmed. Edward chuckled beside me and shot me a glance. _Yes, your room. Alice noticed how enamored you were of that one, so she feels she gave you a choice already. However, we would have given you a place to stay even if you hadn't shown interest in any of them._

_But why would you do that? I'm just a guest in your house. _His next words shocked me, and his eyes were dark and serious.

_You might be a guest – or you might end up joining our family. Don't think you wouldn't be wanted here, Bella. You're already like a sister to Alice, Rosalie has taken a liking to you, Esme is going to be a mother hen…and Emmett and Jasper are curious, Carlisle wants to make certain you're safe and can control yourself if you want to know how… You're slowly becoming a part of this family. And we're happy about it. _

I could only gape, slack-jawed, at his words. There was absolute truth in his tone and his eyes, but I could hardly believe what he was telling me. I did know how it made me feel – overwhelmed and touched beyond words.

He gave me a shy smile. _You don't have to decide right now. Like I said, you are more than welcome to stay with us for as long as you wish. This day has become longer and longer for you, I know, and it must be a lot to take in right now…_

_Oh, it's not too much._ I shook my head. _For some reason, my head's not spinning from all that I've taken in and remembered today, even though I feel like it should be. I…I think I'll stay with you for a while. Who knows what might happen in the future? For right now, though, I…I want to stay here. I like it here._

_Good. I'm glad. _Edward smiled brightly at me, before turning his eyes back to the hustle and bustle that was now narrowed down to Esme and Emmett. Alice and Rosalie had left while we were speaking to each other. _Alice. She let you distract me so she could make a getaway._

I raised an eyebrow as he shook his head and rolled his eyes, obviously thinking to himself. I couldn't help being curious. _Getaway? What did they run to get?_

_Things for your room – curtains, carpeting, paint, and other essentials…I suppose you're lucky enough that I managed to get her to agree to only the basic essentials for clothing when she ran off to pick up some for you. _He tugged lightly on the hem of my shirt – another word I had remembered – and grinned. _She wanted to buy you an entire wardrobe. _

_Oh…I wouldn't have minded, you know. I don't know very much about these new styles – they're so odd. _

_I agree wholeheartedly. However, I think you might want to go with Alice. It would be good practice for you – which reminds me. You hunt both humans and animals, as you told me, correct?_

I could tell by his tone that this was turning to a serious conversation. I began leading the way toward the couch nearest us. _Yes, I do. Why? Is that a problem?_ He sat down next to me, topaz orbs staring through his eyelashes to meet my eyes.

_Well…yes. We only hunt animals. The Pack, the werewolves you ran across before us – we made a treaty with them many years ago, the last time we came through the area. We agreed only to hunt animals, that humans in this area were safe from us. _

I immediately saw the problems. _Oh – I'll stick with animals, too, then. I don't want to destroy your treaty. _

_It's more than the treaty. Bella…we have all decided to drink solely from animals. It's more of a personal choice, one that the treaty was built around as a reassurance to the Quileutes that we wouldn't harm them. _

_If I want to stay with your family, I'll have to learn to keep myself in control, won't I? I'll have to stop drinking from humans entirely._ I thought for a long moment, ignoring Edward for once.

It would be hard, and it would take a long time. I would have to fight myself even harder when I was near humans – and I had a feeling that the Cullens went near humans, and not for food. Could I do this?

No, the question wasn't 'could I' – it was 'would I'.

I remembered all the faces of those I had taken the lives of. I remembered the way they looked at me when they realized I was about to kill them, the way they had stared at me just before I tore into their throats and caused their deaths. It was horrible. I didn't like it, no matter how much I liked the taste of blood.

Turning my head to the side, I looked up into Edward's brilliant golden eyes. I didn't want to disappoint him by choosing to keep my diet – but it wasn't just disappointing him. It was disappointing myself: going away from this family's lifestyle was like a knife to my heart.

_Are you sure? You shouldn't feel like you have to. Did I mention this too soon?_ He was worried about me – but he didn't need to be.

He hadn't said anything 'too soon': it was better for me to know now than for me to learn later, the hard way. And it was my choice. _Of course I am. This is my choice, you know. I think that this is something I should do. I need to do it. But…can you help me?_ I couldn't do it alone.

Edward smiled gently, his eyes reassuring me even before his thoughts did. _Of course I will.

* * *

_

_**A/N – I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I updated almost all of my stories today as a Winter Holiday present to you! Also…**_

_**I'm going to be in Florida until December 27**__**th**__**, so you won't get anything new from me for a while. But I hope that I'll have the time to write while there, since I'm going to be gone for 2 weeks! December 14**__**th**__** until December 27**__**th**__** gives me a bit of writing time – so hopefully I'll have another all-stories update for the New Year:) **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	9. Abridged

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N – I'm very glad that most of you like the story, and I hope that you'll also enjoy this chapter!**_

* * *

"_Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own..._

_If I crash on the couch, can I sleep in my clothes..._

_...If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave..."_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Nine – Abridged**

* * *

Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

Edward definitely helped me the most in my struggle to bring my diet under control.

The entire Cullen family rose to the occasion as well. They were all there for me in their own ways. Carlisle gave me instruction; Esme gave me motherly comfort; Emmett made jokes whenever he could; Alice was always exuberantly there; Jasper offered quiet support and understanding of my situation; Rosalie offered me ways to escape from thinking about it.

And yet Edward...Edward made the most of a difference. He didn't offer any of the things the other Cullens did, just as they each offered their own form of support to me, because he understood. He really and truly understood exactly what it was that made it hard for me as I struggled to control and contain my thirst. And he would go out of his way to fix the problem for me, or ease the stress, in knowing precisely what it was.

I was very grateful for his support as I worked with continuous effort to keep myself, and my instincts, under control. If I hadn't had Edward, I didn't know what I would have done. Actually, I had a faint idea – without him, I'd still be alone. Out in the world, facing eternity by myself.

I was more grateful to him then even he would ever know, for he'd brought me into the family, into a new world, with one simple touch. That was all it had taken for my life to change completely, and I appreciated it more than he could tell.

Edward and his family had taken me under their wing a lot more quickly than I'd thought possible once that initial conversation about 'my' room. Alice and Rosalie had come back with quite a selection of things for the room I was to have as my own.

This time, Edward supplied me with the actual names of things. My vocabulary seemed to expand a little more with each second I spent with him. Alice eagerly hovered around us, throwing in little comments, as Rosalie explained what they'd picked out for me. And I was astounded when I'd seen the finished product.

My room was done up in shades that matched the rest of the house. The carpeting was the same as the one in Edward's room, which I liked very much – a thick, soft and fluffy gold. The walls were painted with a cream-colored paint, and Alice had a blast stenciling intricate designs in black along the edges of each wall and even the ceiling.

The two sisters had also picked out a very nice chaise, in a deep burgundy color that didn't make me think 'blood', but rather of 'wine', for some reason. It looked very traditional, the fabric seeming quilted, in a way, with a high back, and the frame made of a dark wood. The curtains were sheer and gold, attached to the ceiling in front of the window and artistically draped back to frame the scene.

My favorite part of the room was the bookshelf, which stood across from the chaise against the opposite wall. It was made of dark wood that matched the chaise. The dictionary and sign language books were the first I'd put up. I also had a matching wood table, low and sleek, at the foot of the chaise.

When I'd seen the room, I was frozen in shock for a moment. It was beautiful, and I loved it, and I didn't know how to express how much it meant to me. I startled myself when I'd flown from Edward's side and threw my arms around Rosalie and Alice. The utter silence made me uneasy, but I couldn't stop smiling and held on to them for a little bit longer before I let go, and returned to him. They had done so much for me, but still more was to come.

There was a wood desk beside the bookshelf. After a few days, Carlisle came in with a laptop computer for me, which Edward had explained the functions and use of, and helped me get it up and running. The technological advancement astounded me.

Over the course of many days, my bookshelf began to fill with books, courtesy of Jasper. I'd also discovered online shopping – with Edward's help and credit card – and was able to purchase books myself, mostly classics. That type of shopping was very, very welcome while I was still unable to really enter human society without seriously struggling not to slaughter them.

The way they smiled when they'd done something to help me was astounding. They loved it, and even though it made me feel guilty, I loved the way they paid so much attention to me. Residual loneliness made it absolutely heavenly to have so many people around me, especially when they were enjoying themselves and simply included me. I had a feeling that I was shy in my old life, for the continual attention was disconcerting.

But I was overwhelmed when they began learning sign language for me. Several more dictionaries on the language appeared around the house, and I found myself having to release Edward's hand more and more often in order to answer, myself.

Whenever they started signing instead of using Edward as a translator, I had to smile. The guilt over using Edward so much was lessening now that we didn't really need to, although Edward assured me that it was no trouble at all.

The oddest, most offsetting part of it was to leave the safety of hearing through Edward, but I loved being able to speak on my own. It was such a freeing experience, and I remembered more as my new 'siblings' and 'parents' learned the signs. And if they couldn't be remembered, my pad of paper and pen came in handy.

Using the fingerspelling, I began to form name signs for the Cullens. It was easier than spelling out the entire name, and so I shortened them to one letter and, using what I knew about each of them, came up with symbols.

Alice became the letter 'a', swooping down in a little arc near my face, tracing my lips – like a smile, the near-constant companion of her face.

Jasper became a 'j'. After signing that letter, I'd open my hands like I was holding a book, opening and closing them.

Rosalie's name was trickier. In the end, I signed 'r' and moved my hand in a circle, for the tire of a car.

Emmett was 'e' moved in the same way as Alice's, for they were both probably the happiest people I knew.

Esme was also an 'e', but hers I also moved in a circle – this one representing the never-ending love she had for her children.

Carlisle was a 'c', by the forehead. I remembered that male signs were usually made by the forehead, and the sign for 'father' included tapping it.

Edward was also hard for me. His name became an 'e', which I held close to my heart because he meant so much to me, because he'd done so much for me already and was doing more every day.

The expression on his face as I showed him each of the others' names and offered an explanation was one of amusement, and he laughed a few times. But when I told him the meaning for his sign, he was so touched by it, by the way I felt towards his kindness.

That tiny glimpse of the real inner workings of his mind also showed me a clearer picture of him. He didn't seem to realize that I felt so strongly towards him because he'd been here for me from the start of this strange new adventure, and was there, every second of the day. I didn't understand why he couldn't see that, of course he'd mean a lot to me.

I let it go, however. Edward withdrew for a minute, before coming up with a sign for me. A 'b', held close to his heart. He explained to me that I was coming to mean a lot to his family, too, and that I was a member of their family now. And then I understood how he'd been touched that he'd meant a lot to me.

They learned very quickly, and soon I was able to communicate easily with each of them. Sometimes it was easier to write things down, especially if it was a long explanation. I didn't mind that, either.

But I still spent a lot of time with Edward, either improving my control or just talking. I was still insatiable in my appetite to learn anything and everything, and Edward was an easy target for my questions. It was always very easy and fast to get my words to him, and his to me.

We understood each other very well. I had the idea that it was because our minds were so close to each other whenever we spoke in the privacy of our heads. He agreed.

My hypersensitive hands had been tested after a few days with them, and it turned out that I could tap into the abilities of Alice and Jasper. Carlisle thought that my hands were somehow sensitive before my change, and they became more so to a supernatural level after my transformation.

Eventually, Carlisle deemed me strong enough to risk a venture into the human world – with at least one member of my family, of course. The hope was that eventually, I would be able to live like the rest of my siblings – maybe even go to school. The concept of school was exhilarating to me; my siblings thought I was very strange, but then again, allowed that I hadn't been to the institution several times over.

This first venture out into the human world was also the first time any of the humans of Forks would see me. My hope was that I'd be able to control myself well enough to go to school in the fall, only about a month away.

Carlisle told me that it should have taken a bit longer for me to find control, but he thought that my strange diet over the years had made it easier for me to abstain. I'd trained my body to go on either fuel source for months at a time, and right now it seemed like my body was just preparing for another animal streak. It would become much harder later on, when my body learned that I wasn't just taking a brief break from human blood.

All in all, I was very anxious to head off into the tiny town of Forks. I had the confidence that I could handle my instincts, and I was eager to see more of the little things that I'd never seen before, at least not from the inside. Stores sounded interesting from Alice's perspective, and I was always eager to see new things.

Alice forced me to wear a pair of uncomfortably tight jeans and a tank top, for some bizarre reason that only she knew. It was warm outside the day we went into town, which I knew was strange for Forks. But it was summertime, which apparently explained everything. I didn't need the sunglasses, for my eyes had become more gold than red and only a hint of that former color remained.

I was nervous in the car on the way into town. Only Alice, Rosalie and Edward were going to accompany me on our first excursion, although Emmett and Jasper were also leaving the house – but heading somewhere else, Port Angeles. Carlisle and Esme were spending the day together at home.

Edward didn't touch me the whole way there, as I was trying to get myself used to the idea of not having him around constantly. I wanted him to be able to have the freedom to be by himself, not feel obligated to be near me. Even though it bothered me to lose the new sense of 'hearing', I had to do it for him.

When we reached the town, I noticed immediately that eyes seemed to follow the car. There were many people out and about; Alice said it was because of the unusually warm weather, even under the cloudy sky. And I had been told that vampires were eerily attractive to humans: it was one of our weapons, to draw them in. It was going to be a useless trait for the rest of my life, for I intended not to feed on humans ever again.

I was incredibly nervous as we parked in front of a store. Already, I was struggling to keep my thirst under control. How was I going to stand several hours among these people?

Edward took one look at me, and reached for my hand. He told me not to be afraid, that he and Rosalie and Alice were going to be with me the entire day. They would make sure I could handle myself. They would be with me.

And just like that, I felt better. I nodded and thanked him, and Alice bounced out of the door behind me. I could tell she was already chattering a mile a minute to Rosalie. Before I could open the door myself, she was pulling it open for me. Edward told her to calm down just before he released my hand to get out of the car, himself. And I pulled myself out of the car, closing the door gently behind me.

I was immediately uncomfortable. There were so many eyes on me, and for the past month-plus, the only eyes I'd had watching me were those of my family. The amount of people around us was overwhelming. Even more intimidating was the fact that many of them were young people, still in school: hopefully, my future classmates.

Edward laid a hand on my shoulder to get my attention, drawing me out of my staring at everything around me on the busy street. Then Rosalie moved to my other side, smiling brazenly and striding forward with me at her side. She'd pulled me right out of Edward's grasp, but I could sense him following behind.

Alice darted in front of me, walking backwards as she began to sign. I noticed that she'd slowed her signing down a significant bit, and I based my responses at the same speed as hers. That must have been what human speed was, and I tagged on the question.

She'd laughed, nodded, and pointed to the store we were heading. Then she began detailing what we'd be doing, and I had to shake my head and wave my hands about to get her attention before telling her to just show me.

The whole afternoon, she ran from store to store showing me things. All the strange styles, and new clothes, and the oddest ideas about what was fashionable and what wasn't ran from her fingers. I could hardly keep up with the whirlwind that she – and Rosalie – presented me.

In a few stores, they'd darted into dressing rooms and I'd sunk onto a bench in relief. I wanted to learn, and see, ad explore, but Alice could be such a whirlwind at times! We'd been everywhere in the small square, several places twice as they came back to buy things.

Then Edward would sit beside me, signing back to me a conversation that occupied most of our waiting time. I wished that I could just take his hand and listen to everything he was saying, but that wasn't human, or normal, and it wouldn't do for public instances.

To my surprise, I was able to control myself. Alice and Rosalie's action-packed traveling circus successfully distracted me from the blood that beat around me in pulsing waves, through hearts and people.

It was hard to control myself. It was hard to keep myself focused on not murdering everything in our path. But I managed it, and I found the ride back home very enjoyable because of the knowledge that I had controlled myself.

For the rest of the month, that success helped me to keep my focus, and I'd gradually begun to head off into the human world with my siblings more and more. I was becoming a known face in Forks.

The story was that I was the newest of the Cullen siblings to be adopted, which was, in a way, true. I was deaf and had been since birth, and I used sign language to communicate, which was also very true. And I was going to be coming with the Cullens to high school in the upcoming year, which I was delighted to find would, indeed, be true.

I worked my hardest to keep myself under strict control, and soon enough, it was the dawn of my first day of school.

* * *

**_A/N – Thank you for reading_**! 


	10. Entering

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer._**

_**A/N – Note: I do cut out lines in the song that I don't feel fit in the chapter, so all the ellipses (…) are where I cut lines out. Also, I made Esme's car an Impala in tribute to 'Supernatural' – however, it is not a 1967 Chevy Impala. It is a new one, probably 2004 or 2005 – because I really can't picture Esme driving around in a '67 muscle car, and I wanted to include an Impala because I am now obsessed with 'Supernatural'. Yeah. :)**_

* * *

"… _If it looks like I'm laughing I'm really just asking to leave_

_This alone, you're in time for the show…_

…_I've really been on a bender, and it shows…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Ten – Entering**

* * *

Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

Alice was merciful to me. She had selected the clothes I would be 'allowed' to wear to school, but I was the one who made the final decision regarding my outfit. I had to select my clothes from those before me, hanging up.

The only problem was that I had no idea what I should want to wear for my first day of school. What if I chose something wrong, something that made me stand out even more?

Reaching over to the barrier separating Edward's room from mine, I knocked as gently on the wall as I could to get his attention. I cast a bewildered look at the clothing selection in front of me before turning to the door – where, of course, Edward was already standing in response to my summons.

His long strides carried him to my side when I stretched an arm out in front of me; in my head, I was desperately hoping Alice wouldn't come in with her suggestions. I already knew what she would want me to wear – something 'flattering' or whatever she wanted to call it. I just wanted something simple.

_Simple? Bella, you know Alice will be so disappointed in you. She has so many ideas that she'd simply love to force upon you._ A crooked grin shaped his lips: then, he turned his eyes away from me and to the hangers and drawers. _Jeans are as simple as you can get. You might want to wear one of those t-shirts and a sweatshirt pulled on over it if you want comfortable._

_You're a lifesaver,_ I told him before pulling my hand away to snatch the clothes and throw them on my chaise, and returning it to his grasp a second later. _She probably would have wanted me to wear that awful coat if it weren't for you – my personal fashion consultant. _

He laughed. _That's me. _Then he raised an eyebrow at the coat in question, noting the very detail that I objected to. _It is rather small, isn't it?_

_Yes! How she thinks I would be comfortable in something like that – not to mention the neckline is far too indecent. Even that shirt I chose…_ I cast a dubious eye on the pale blue material. Was that within the guidelines of this society? Was it indecent in this time period?

_You'll be surprised what young adults in this era think are perfectly acceptable. _Edward rolled his eyes at the thought, trying his hardest not to think of just what was 'perfectly acceptable'. I caught a few glimpses of the imagery in his head and I didn't want to see any more, either. _Sometimes I wish I were still in the age I had been born in, rather than in this kind of society. _

_I'm beginning to think I would also prefer that._ Then again, if I were still in my human-life time frame, I never would have met the Cullen family. _Or maybe not… I can't imagine what my life would be like without you all. I already had to face it once: I'd rather never do that again. _

_Believe me, we're glad that we have you._ He smiled gently down at me. _I'm going to let you get dressed now, if that's all right. _

_Of course – when are we leaving?_

_In about five minutes. We have to get you checked in, which means we will have to leave a little bit earlier if we want to avoid all the problems that may come up. _He raised an eyebrow as I immediately began thinking of all those possibilities. "Don't worry," he murmured out loud.

_I can't help it. What if they won't let me be in classes with you and Alice? What if they think I should be in a special program, just because of the sign language?_ There was no doubt in my mind that they could do that, if they wanted. The administration of the high school had the power to force me to take different classes, which I knew from Carlisle's thoughts.

We'll make sure they don't. His eyes captured mine. Bella, I don't want you to worry about this: we'll take care of it. You're fully capable at understanding what is being said in class – you can read lips to a certain extent, you can write and read, you can use sign language. And I'm your secret weapon, if all else fails. His eyes were gentle. 

I sighed and nodded my head. _You're right, I know. I'll calm down. Thank you, so much, for everything that you're doing for me._ Cutting him off before he could tell me again that I didn't need to thank him, I smiled. _Go ahead, I need to get dressed. _

_All right._ Edward released my hand and walked out the bedroom door, closing it behind him.

Taking a deep breath, I turned to the clothing and began pulling it on at a painstakingly slow speed. I had to be careful to control my speed and reflexes from now on: moving too fast would attract attention in public, and my strength was enough to shatter diamond into dust. I had to be very cautious, especially considering the flimsy tools I would have to use in the classroom.

Finally, I was dressed and ready to go. I reached down beside my chaise to retrieve the bag that Alice had so kindly bought me. It was very nice, actually, a black leather backpack with a single compartment and a smaller outside pouch. It was big enough to fit all of my belongings, and it could stretch more – there were all sorts of strings and zippers around it.

I had been amazed that Alice let me have the simple comforts of a bag I could sling over both shoulders, so my hands were free. I had thought, for a moment, that she would force me to take one of those hideously giant handbags to match Rosalie and her. Instead, she had thought in advance: I would need my hands free just to communicate. Handbags? Thankfully, they were out of the question.

There was some kind of emblem on my backpack, however, and Edward wouldn't tell me what it said – only that it meant it was on the higher end of the price scale, and that was only after I caught a fleeting thought pertaining to it. He already knew how I would feel about so much money going to me, for a simple bag.

I was thankful that he seemed to understand me so well. It made this whole experience feel so much less terrifying: there was going to be at least one person right by my side who did know me well enough to see what would bother me and what wouldn't. In this excursion, Edward represented safety.

I could sense rumblings in the air as I strode out the door and down the stairs. My shoes were non-negotiable: Alice said that she'd have them for me when I came downstairs. I believed her: she would know what would 'work best' with my outfit. I figured that I might as well let her commandeer over my footwear if I was denying her dressing me up like a doll.

The family was downstairs, spread out among the various pieces of furniture. Carlisle and Jasper were facing one another, their expressions caught in the sincere seriousness of a discussion – books, art, philosophy or medicine; I didn't know which. Then I read Jasper's lips: Shakespeare. Literature, then.

Emmett, Rosalie and Edward sat in another cluster of haphazardly moved chairs, laughing about something or another. Edward wasn't laughing as much as the couple was, however, and I paused on the foot of the stairs. My eyes stayed on his face for a long moment, as I wondered why he didn't seem as light and happy.

There was something decidedly closed off about his face. It hadn't been there when I was alone with him, or when I was caught up in actually hearing his thoughts. But in comparison to his siblings' faces, in a tension-free conversation, I could see a subtle something…different.

I would have been content to stay there all day, leaning against the banister at the foot of the stairs – except for Alice's intervention. She popped up to my side, having scrambled down the stairs from behind me. In her hands, a pair of surprisingly familiar-feeling boots were clutched.

When I took a better look at them, I realized that they had certain elegance about them. If I had to take a guess, I'd say that they were from approximately the same time period as I was: my lips curled into a smile and I took them – and a pair of knee-high tight-sock _things_ – from Alice. At least the sock-things were easy enough: it was clear that they just weren't as long as normal tights. And they affixed themselves about my calves.

When I stood up from my seat on the stairs, boots comfortably settled on my feet, I smiled at Alice again and motioned _Thank you._

She replied with a mouthed, "You're welcome," accompanied by the signing. I grinned: I'd asked my family to include the spoken words with their signing so I could begin to connect them to each other. It would be a touch harder in school, understanding, when my teachers would have to speak at a normal speed for the rest of their students.

But I was hopeful that I could at least get the gist of what was going on around me, if not the entire picture. And I would have my siblings with me: they could always tell me much more quickly – the written word could come by our hand in an incredible amount of time, and to read it took mere milliseconds.

Edward approached me, holding out his hand after a second of hesitation – hesitation that I barely noticed, if not for the shadow that passed over his face. I tried not to think about it as I reached forward. _Are we leaving?_

_Yes. Carlisle and Esme are driving us up: they'll have to deal with the office staff just in case something pops up – which it most likely will. But we don't want you to worry about it, Bella,_ he added. My worry must have shown on my face. _They'll handle it for you. Just relax: you'll have more important things to concentrate on._

_Like not killing anybody?_

_Precisely. And you won't. Trust me. _

* * *

The drive to school seemed to take a lot longer than it should have. I sat in the front seat of the small, pristine-condition Impala. Rosalie and Alice were riding in the backseat. The male Cullens had all piled into Carlisle's Mercedes with looks akin to relief at the thought of not riding in Esme's car. 

I had wondered why. True, Esme didn't slam on the gas and zip faster than lightening: but seventy miles per hour was nothing to scoff at. It could have been the car brand: I could vaguely make out that Rosalie and Esme had an ongoing conversation the whole way to school about the car. Alice threw in her own comments here or there. And I just sat there and 'listened' – there was something about the vibrations of their voices that was incredibly soothing.

It certainly helped take my mind off of the first day of high school. I was a nervous wreck that morning before my shower, and the boiling water against my icy skin had helped calm me. Jasper might have had a little to do with that, too.

The most worrying part of this day was the idea that I was going to have to sit for hours on end with humans surrounding me. Hopefully, with Edward or Alice – or both – beside me, I could keep my focus and control. But if I were split up from them by the school administration, this would become ten times more difficult.

I already had an inkling of the big deal that was going down between the Cullens and the school. Carlisle and Esme had registered me for classes with forged documents – birth certificate, previous school records, all the necessary shots and vaccinations for this day and age – but it was my disability that was the largest problem.

Because I was deaf, the school wanted to create an entire program specifically for me. Carlisle and Esme fought to allow me to be a normal student, take normal classes, and be with my siblings so I could understand what was going on. They provided ample evidence of my writing and signing abilities to the school: I went in a few times, demonstrating what I knew.

The tutoring-at-vampire-speed that took place during the summer had prepared me: after all, my information told the school that I had passed through grades Kindergarten to tenth and was heading into my junior year. I had to actually know all that information.

My teachers were the best. Carlisle, Edward and Jasper, the more academically minded members of the Cullen family, led me through vampire-speed tutoring sessions. I had done assignments – where they had gotten them was a mystery – and I had completely tests and all the rest. The only difference was that this was an extremely fast-paced program.

Considering the pace, it was a wonder I had scored in the advanced sections on everything. My strongest place was English, for sure, but even my toughest – science – was above normal. This would work in my favor while I was trying to get into school here, into classes with my siblings rather than some specifically modified-for-me program.

The entire ride to school, I was still nervous – just a little less. I could handle this: I could control my instincts, and I could pull through this school day with as little pain as possible if I just kept my concentration strong and my focus on making it through the day.

The car came to a gentle halt and I realized that we were there. The Mercedes was beside us, and Emmett, Jasper, Edward and Carlisle were standing on the sidewalk, talking quietly amongst themselves about something or another.

I was surprised at how many students were already at the school: I knew it wasn't going to start for at least another hour. Why were they all here? Then I remembered Edward telling me how curious Forks was about the rumored newest member of the Cullen family. They were just here for gossip. I sighed heavily, taking a deep breath and trying to ignore the taunting tingle in my throat at the faint scent of human blood.

The car shook as my sisters opened their car doors to get out, and belatedly, I realized that Esme, too, was already halfway out her door. With trembling fingers, I reached over and began to open my own door. I was careful, trying my hardest not to dent the weak, brittle metal of the door handle.

Slipping my legs out of the car, I froze, breathing in the intoxicating scent of blood. It was all around me, absolutely everywhere! How could my family stand it? How could they stand the monster welling up, trying to break free – encouraging a bloodlust rampage? Standing up took more willpower than I thought I'd need, and it was doubly harder to contemplate closing the car door.

And then…Edward was there. He closed the door with an ease that astonished me, and he grasped my hand under the pretense of pulling me to the sidewalk to be near the rest of my family. _It's all right, Bella. Don't breathe if it's too hard. Relax your shoulders a bit. Don't worry about what they might think of you – it doesn't matter. _

_It's so hard._ I would have whimpered if I could speak out loud. _Why wasn't it this hard when we were shopping? What if I can't control myself for much longer? Edward, I'm scared, I don't know what to do if I have to get split up from you and Alice. What if I have to?_

A silent hand motion later, Esme was converging on my other side, pulling me into a hug of comfort. I smiled, returning the gesture, but it felt automatic. Edward rubbed his thumb over my hand, offering up a few last words. _Just relax a little, Bella. We promise, we'll take care of everything with the school. All you need to concentrate on is your control, and you know you have it. Don't let the unfamiliar situation make you think you have less control. _

Then he let go of my hand, allowing my sisters to melt into their places: Rosalie took my other side, and Alice fell back with Edward to walk behind me. Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle led the way toward what I assumed was the main office building. We made quite a parade.

And many eyes followed us. I could tell that whispering was breaking out, if only because I had assumed it would before we even arrived. Gossip. Didn't these people know that was a sin? What had happened to religion and strong moral values? In this world as I was coming to see through the eyes of my family, this society was seriously lacking in those.

Emmett held the door open for all of us as we filed into the big building. It looked like they were expecting us: several adult humans stood around, some in chairs while others stood – all talking. They silenced once we came in, curious eyes darting over each of us in turn before finally landing on me.

I hung back with my siblings as Esme and Carlisle moved forward to talk with the strangers. They shook hands, and vibrations filled the air, but eyes kept coming back to me. It was disconcerting, to say the least, and I wished that I could have been in a separate room entirely if only so they wouldn't look at me so much.

My siblings tried to distract me: sign language conversations popped up as they purposefully included me: also, it gave all of us some more practice in signing. Our conversation drifted everywhere it possibly could, from school to home to hunting, briefly. We had gone the day before, and we would go again at least this weekend.

At long last, Esme's hand was on my shoulder and I turned around, stomach clenching as I awaited the decision of the Forks High School administration. Her triumphant grin told me clearly what that decision was, and I beamed in return – this time, a real grin.

Carlisle handed me my schedule: I received a second sheet of paper, detailing for me what the decision was. Esme and Carlisle's writing informed me that I was going to be in all of Edward's classes – unfortunately, Alice shared none with him this year. My siblings got their schedules at that time, as well, and appeared to be comparing them to each other.

I was glad that Edward and I had classes together. My safety, with me at all times: the one person in this family who could, instantly, know anything I needed to tell him just from a simple touch instead of complicated signing or paper and pencil. That made me all the happier with the arrangement.

Unfortunately for me, however, there was an additional seventh period or early-morning class that I would have to take. At least once a week, I was going to have to come in so the school could make sure I was keeping up with the advanced classes. If it were clear that I was struggling not just with one particular course, but also all the advanced work, then I would be moved into my own program.

I silently vowed that I would do my best at all times and keep them from doing something like that to me.

Besides that condition, I was also obligated to participate in all the classroom goings-on, as there would not be exceptions made for me. I would have to perform to the standards – except for oral presentations. Then, a woman who did know sign language was going to be called down and I would do my presentation. This was just an example of some small exceptions or changes that were to be made for me.

_Just as I expected,_ Edward whispered in my mind as he slyly touched my hand with his in pretense of looking at the conditions paper I was reading. _You see? There was nothing to worry about, Bella. _

_You'll be with me the whole time. That helps a lot._ I handed over the paper as he skimmed over it. I also knew, without a doubt, that Edward would be helping me whenever necessary to keep on top of my classes. He was just that type of man. I needn't fear failure and removal from the advanced classes with him at my side.

_Our teachers are in this room, you realize._ Edward told me as he handed me back my paper. Then he proceeded to say the same by sign language, to make it clearer that he was actually telling me something.

_They are?_ I replied weakly, knowing that if I were human there would be a definite blush on my cheeks. These men and women – six of them were my teachers? They were present at this meeting? And…they were willing to allow me in their classes? I felt overwhelmed. Jasper sent a spike of calm shooting through me and I glanced toward him, thankfully.

Eventually, we all realized that the school day would soon start. Carlisle had to get over to the hospital, and Esme had to get home, herself. They would be back after school to pick us up, and by then there would be another form for them to sign for me – they would have had to come back, anyway.

My siblings and I walked with them back to the two cars, parked side by side. I noticed that their cars were the cleanest, most pristine and newest cars in the parking lot. Small towns, small cars, and small amounts of money: the Cullens stuck out like a sore thumb in the midst of that.

Esme pulled me into a hug before she got in her car, smiling and mouthing, "You'll be fine, Bella." I nodded, showing her that I believed her words – and yet, as she pulled out of her parking spot, I still felt uncertain. I still felt overwhelmed. And I most definitely felt suffocated by the strong presence of human blood.

Edward's hand brushed mine again. _Don't worry so much. You're doing great so far, and you'll keep going for the rest of the day. _

Surprisingly, I believed him.

* * *

_**A/N – Sorry for the long-coming update! It's short, too, which stinks. But I wanted to get you something, so here you are! And thanks, one and all, for your support and encouraging reviews! I really appreciate it!**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	11. One Day

**_READ BOTTOM A/N. _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer._**

_**A/N – It's taken me a while, I know. Sorry. I can keep saying it until the cows come home, but I think you want to read, yeah:) Anyway…enjoy!**_

_**Okay, I know Edward's schedule (from Lexicon, I believe) and so that's the class schedule they're sticking to. However, I do not know who the teacher's names are: I think that there are only a couple of names that come up in the book. So, I took a bit of creative liberty there in making up teacher names. Incidentally, I modeled them after my own teachers who taught subjects in the same basic areas (English, Math, History, Science, P.E. and Foreign Language) just for the heck of it. :) LOL.**_

* * *

"… _If it looks like I'm laughing I'm really just asking to leave_

_This alone, you're in time for the show…_

…_I've really been on a bender, and it shows…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Eleven – One Day**

* * *

Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

The bell rang – long and loud – for lunch. I could hear it via Edward's mind. But I stayed tense in my seat, waiting until the last of the humans had trickled back through the locker rooms before breathing again. They had been all around me, behind me, for the past half-hour during the orientation for Physical Education.

Edward and I had taken our seats in the front row this time, instead of the back. In the past three classes, with actual desks and chairs, we had moved to the last seats in the very back: it was more comfortable for me to be back there instead of in the front, or the middle of the room.

The bleachers had been stacked with students for the whole half-hour, and the teacher hustled through the notes as quickly as he could before the bell would ring. From subtle, brief touching of Edward's hand – at a speed too fast for human eyes to see – I had learned that we were going to have to endure sitting in the gym for the rest of the week.

_It won't be that bad. They always do this the first day of school,_ Edward informed me as he took my hand. I stepped away from the bleachers, allowing him to lead me to the instructor who stood by the boy's locker room door, waiting to speak to us. _And today is a minimum day since it's the first day of school. We only have lunch and two more periods to go through._

_I know. But it was so hard. I could hear all those hearts beating, and I just wanted to taste. Just a little._ I was disgusted at myself for wanting to sip that tantalizing blood. I had to control myself, control my instincts. Thinking about what I'd wanted wasn't going to help me.

_You're doing very well so far. It's even more remarkable that you have this much control, considering that it was just this summer that you began consciously trying to keep from drinking human blood. You should be proud of your efforts._ He released my hand and moved slightly in front of me to speak to the teacher.

The physical education teacher spoke to Edward for a moment, and I stood to the side watching. After a short conversation, during which Edward nodded multiple times and seemed to be reassuring the instructor of something, the man finally stepped aside and pointed me in the direction of the girl's locker room.

I gave both of them a parting smile as I headed toward the door, knowing that I would meet Edward outside the gym. As soon as my back was turned to them, though, my smile slipped away from my face and I prepared to walk into that smaller room off the side of the main chamber.

Edward and I had had to split up in order to enter the gym, because they had us using only the locker room doors instead of the large ones in the front. I'd already had to pass through this room once, and I didn't like it very much. Opening the door, I slipped inside. It was empty: I was relieved and my smile began to reappear.

When I had entered going into the class, human girls had been packed inside the musky room. The air had rung with vibrations that spilled from their lips. They giggled and gossiped, chattering away like so many little hens. Only, they were a lot worse than old maids blathering away. These young girls, mere children in this world although they would have been considered adults in the time I had supposedly come from, _acted_ just like children.

It wasn't too surprising that they were considered that, with their obscene dress and childish cruelty towards each other. It didn't take hearing to see how some girls were singled out: the way other girls, 'pretty' girls, gathered in clusters and watched a loner, whispering behind their hands… It was irritating, to say the least.

After my first two class periods, it had become clear that these females seemed to know that I was different – and not just because I was a vampire. My use of sign language had not been secretive or subtle when I told Edward I'd meet him inside the gym, outside of the locker rooms. And I had made a point to sign to him in all of my classes: my handicap was not going to be secret, so I might as well make it obvious.

My fabricated story was told to the human staff of the school – and was probably going to be spread about the entire town of Forks, if Alice and Rosalie's descriptions of these humans were anything to go by.

In any case, the school was told that I was another adopted Cullen sibling. I came from a small town on the opposite coast – up north, of course, to explain my pale skin. And I had been born deaf.

This was also Carlisle's working theory on why I was deaf: I had been born that way. Since transformation into a vampire sharpened and enhanced everything about a human, he theorized that I was born missing some vital part in both of my ears. After all, the venom of a vampire transformation couldn't sharpen or enhance what wasn't even there.

I was grateful that none of the human females had felt the need to wait for me after the bell had rung. As nice as welcoming greetings were, I didn't want to have to fend off human curiosity and blood scent at the same time. I'd already heard enough questions in the minds of the student population through Edward.

Pushing open the door of the locker room, I found Edward leaning casually against the wall, waiting for me. Grinning at the sight of him, I reached for his hand. _Are we going to lunch now?_

_Yes, _he replied. _The cafeteria is this way._

The walk to the cafeteria building was void of most of the student population of Forks. When we reached the doors, Edward and I released our hands and he pulled open the door, ushering me inside ahead of him. I studiously avoided meeting anyone's eyes as Edward's gentle hand on my shoulder guided me in the right direction.

We got in the lunch line and moved along the counter: Edward pushed me in front of him and I obliged. I only grabbed a couple of items, knowing that I wouldn't eat very much. Since the day was short, lunchtime was also earlier than the usual time for humans. Therefore, not many of them were very hungry. We'd get away with our small amount of food easily today.

As I turned around, my tray balanced lightly on my hands, I found myself the center of attention for many eyes. I let myself scan over the tables, searching for the Cullen siblings. They were all seated at the same table, in the corner. There were two seats saved on either side of the table, one between Rosalie and Alice and the other between Emmett and Jasper.

Edward followed behind me on the way to the table, offering silent, unconditional support as I made my way across the room. The vibrations in the air grew softer as we neared, but I could feel them grow louder when we had passed.

Alice smiled cheerfully as we neared and lifted her hands to sign to me. Sit between Jasper and Emmett, Bella. They were seated on the side closest to the wall, facing the rest of the cafeteria. I understood immediately why Alice was telling me so: it would be easier for me to control myself if I had more distance from my 'prey' – no matter how little the amount of space really was.

I nodded to show her I understood and walked around the table. Edward headed toward the seat between Rosalie and Alice. Placing my tray on the table, I slid into my seat at about the same time as Edward.

The comforting presence of Emmett and Jasper on either side helped me to feel more in control. They could stop me if any little thing caused my control to shatter. In addition to the extra security, however, their mere presence was soothing. It helped to know that they were all around me, these people who were now my family. I felt like I really belonged.

Rosalie smiled kindly at me and lifted her hands. How were your first four periods of school?

Fine. I paused before smiling and adding; If I have to hear any more gossip from these students I think I won't want to control my thirst any longer. It wasn't too sensitive a topic to joke about.

They laughed and I smiled along with them, unable to actually raise my voice in laughter. I supposed that I might be able to, considering that I had cried out once – that explosive first time Edward's hand had touched mine – but besides that time, I didn't think I was able to speak. And I didn't know how, either: what my mouth had to do, what my vocal cords would have to do, nothing.

My fingers skittered over my food, picking apart the bun of the chicken sandwich that I'd never eat, even if I could. It didn't look very appetizing. I allowed my eyes to follow the mouths of the Cullen siblings, picking up words and the general conversation as I watched them fall into short blurbs on conversation.

They made sure to include me whenever they were discussing something, but for the most part lunch was a quiet affair. There wasn't really anything to talk about here. Vampire conversation was not fit for human ears, and there was no reason to risk being overheard in the cafeteria of a high school.

Casually, I stretched my hand across the table to touch Edward's, catching his attention. _How much longer until our next class?_

_Only a few more minutes – are you all right? Is it too hard to control yourself? We can leave the cafeteria if you want. _His concerned topaz eyes locked with mine as I pulled my hand away.

Can we leave the cafeteria now? Or do we have to wait around until everyone is done eating? My thirst was driving my crazy in here. It was like my throat was on fire, and there was no water to put it out – except for all the buckets spread around the room.

We can leave. Edward assured me. As if on cue, Alice sprang to her feet, flashing me a smile and taking her tray in her small hands. Rosalie glanced between the three of us, pieced it together, and turned her head toward Emmett. Her lips moved, and I read them for a second until I understood that she was asking if Emmett was ready to go.

Our family moved together out of the room, capturing many eyes as we left. I was acutely aware of all of those eyes, and noticed how the girl's eyes lingered on the male Cullens while the male ones followed Alice and Rosalie. There was no doubt that the majority of the girls were watching Edward, though: they knew he was 'single'.

What I knew was that Edward was simply without a mate. And that was something far more serious than any human girl could ever hope to comprehend.

From what I had gleaned about Edward through observation and the intimate knowledge of his thoughts told me that my first impressions of him were far more accurate than I could have realized at the time. He was a loner by nature, and lonely by choice.

I didn't like his aversion to having a mate. I knew that I felt so much better with the Cullen family around me, and goodness knew that I felt that longing, that tug, to have someone special in my life. But Edward denied himself those feelings, felt that he was better off alone in the sense of a true mate. And that his family was all he needed.

It made me feel sad. I was alone in the world, completely, for a very long time. I understood how he could be content with his family: I felt that right now, the compulsion to find the kind of love I wanted drawn back just some. But Edward had been denying himself even the understanding of what he wanted for a very long time.

I wished that I could help him. I was already coming to care very much for the Cullen family, and I knew that I was joining their ranks in regards to worrying about Edward. It was impossible to ignore the thoughts that sometimes popped up. As much as Edward wasn't the central focus of his family's life, it was also true that the Cullens thought about him a lot.

He was an important member of their family. They loved him. They wanted him happy. Thus, whenever it was seen that he wasn't, really, it was noticeable. Edward just didn't seem to notice that it wasn't his family trying to get him to consider his love life: it was his family worrying over his well-being.

Pushing the thoughts away, to the very back of my mind, I concentrated on the next subject we were heading to as my hand curled into Edward's. _What's our next class?_

_Biology. Mr. Banner. It's that way,_ he told me, point discretely to our left. _We don't have to get to the classroom yet: we can sit around outside until the bell rings._

A picnic table stood to the right of the walkway: Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper had already been heading toward it. Edward and I followed at a slower pace. His hand drifted from mine to curl around my waist, propelling me in front of him to take a seat beside Alice. He swung his legs up, sitting cross-legged on the table behind me. Jasper joined him. Emmett stood in front of Rosalie, pantomiming something that was making her laugh.

Alice turned to me, eager to practice more sign language. Of all the siblings, she enjoyed signing the most. What did you think of the subjects you'll be learning? she asked.

Smiling, I prepared my answer for her…

* * *

When the school day was done, I'd been through clouds of the scent of human blood. I'd heard a hundred hearts beating their own rhythms in a hundred chests. I'd heard thoughts swimming in tandem through my head, never needing the use of my non-working ears to do so. And I had struggled with my body all day, trying to bring my instincts under control.

And I'd managed it. I had succeeded.

Jubilant, I leaped out of Esme's car when we reached the house and danced a few steps around the front yard, a smile wider than I'd ever felt on my face. I could feel vibrations of laughter as Emmett smoothly slid into a partner's spot and began twirling me around in a ballroom dance across the lawn.

Alice giggled and asked why I was happy, and I'd signed that I was successful. She knew what I meant, of course: they all did. I was happy that I hadn't killed anyone. Surrounded by temptation, I'd held my head high and defied my own instincts. Of course I was overjoyed.

Later in the evening, Edward offered to accompany me on a quick hunt. I agreed quickly, taking the reward for my success as well as a bit more strength for tomorrow, where I would have to keep the reigns tight upon myself yet again. And tomorrow would be longer, too…

By the time we'd run through the forest, I was sinking into sadness again. Four more days, each longer than today – how was I going to be able to control myself then? Today had been a struggle, and it was a short day. I could only imagine what tomorrow was going to feel like to me.

Two deer later, Edward took my hand. _What's troubling you so, Bella? You were so happy right after school. _

_Until I remembered that I have to go back tomorrow. And the day after, and on and on until Friday – and then there are two days of freedom from it before I have to go back._ I wanted to sigh my displeasure, but the sound probably wouldn't escape my lungs – let alone my lips.

_You'll do fine,_ he quietly reassured me. His hand began to rub soothing circles over the back of mine. _You did exceptionally well today, and you'll do absolutely wonderful tomorrow. You just have to believe in yourself. You can do it. _

_But what if I can't?_ I questioned desperately. _What if I can't? I don't want to kill anyone, Edward. I want to be good; I want to be like your family._

_Our family,_ he corrected me gently. We were walking side by side, now, through the darkening forest. The sun was hidden behind thick clouds, and slowly setting over the horizon behind us.

_The Cullen family, if it makes you feel better,_ I told him. The look he gave me – part worry, part incredulity – made me feel a little guilty for making myself so separate from his coven._ You can include me in it if you want._

_You don't include yourself?_ he asked, concern in his voice.

_Only because I'm so new to your way of life, and your coven,_ I reassured him.

Shaking his head, he pulled us to a stop. I blinked up at him, confused about his action – until he spoke, his voice echoing in my mind with beautiful resonance. _But we consider you one of us, Bella. Can't you see that?_

The quiet of the woods around us – completely void of any other minds – allowed me direct contact with Edward's. Just his: no other distractions. And so, I saw how much he wanted me to see that they really did consider me 'one of them'. _I do. I just don't quite feel like it – because it's so new. Because it's so different from the way I've lived for so long, I think I just have to get used to the idea of having a family._

_As long as you understand that we already consider you one of us._

I smiled – and before I could realize what I was doing, I stretched one of my hands up to his face. Cupping my palm around his jaw, I made sure he was looking into my eyes as I told him in our own silent language, _Of course I know that. I wish I could honestly think of myself the same way. I want to._

His free hand covered mine in silent acceptance. _You will. Soon,_ he promised.

_Probably._ Our conversation ended there, and I found myself unable to think of anything else to say. What could one say after that? Not to mention that I was completely hopeless at carrying on a conversation after all my years alone.

Amusement flickered in Edward's mind at my thoughts, and I picked up a stray thought from his head. _For one so supposedly 'hopeless', she can certainly keep me interested in what she has to say._ It wasn't something he directly meant for me to hear, but I did anyway.

Embarrassed, I released his hand and lowered my eyes. I didn't really want to listen to his private thoughts. As nice as they were, and as good as they made me feel about myself when he was thinking about me…it felt like I was invading his privacy.

I didn't realize that he'd taken both my hands in his until I heard his whispering voice in my head again. _Bella, it's perfectly fine. You know, for once it's rather nice to be the one being spied upon instead of the other way around. I've heard so many things I'm not meant to hear that it doesn't bother me that you can hear anything I think. It's almost like some kind of cosmic retribution. Ironic._

_What do you mean?_ I asked, curious.

His topaz eyes twinkled and he shifted his body slightly closer to mine when he shuffled his feet slightly. _That one person I've just met is the sole person who can turn my own ability back on me and whom I can't hear unless I'm touching her hand – which is what enables her to hear me, for that matter._

My lips broke into a smile: that was very ironic._ True._

_But I can't think of one person I'd trust more with my innermost thoughts._

Those words set a fire deep inside my chest and I found myself speechless. Such sweet words had never been aimed at me before! In fact, they seemed almost alien – more so than just forgotten, the way my memory had been. No, this feeling – and those words – they were entirely new. Foreign.

And I suddenly found myself eager to break away from the contact and close proximity – but at the same time, I didn't want to. I wanted to move closer. I thought for a moment, interpreting that feeling.

Taking it in context, as I was sure my body meant for my mind to understand it, I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around him in an utterly quiet hug. He was startled, I knew, for his body stiffened for a second before relaxing against mine. His arms circled around my back.

I was glad that my hands weren't touching his then, because then he would have been able to hear me wondering about the strange, jumpy feeling in the pit of my stomach. He would have been able to hear me wondering why I liked this hug so much, why I was so acutely aware of every inch of his body against mine.

It was nothing like the longing for a mate that I could feel bred into my bones. That same longing that Edward denied. No, this was…it _had_ to be something different, because it wasn't the same. Yet it kind of felt like that familiar longing.

Whatever it was, I was just glad that Edward couldn't hear my pondering. As I released him, I pulled my hands between us so I could sign, Race me back to the house.

He merely nodded, an impish grin gracing his face. With that, I turned tail and ran – trusting, knowing, that he would keep a close eye on our surroundings and make sure that our run would be safe. I could have pressed my hands to the ground to make sure for myself, but I decided to place my trust in him.

Show him that which he had told me directly. And he knew that I was doing: I could see it in his eyes as we raced through the thick green undergrowth. When we burst from the trees to the grass lawn before the south wall of the house, I took my chance and leaped sideways, catching him off guard.

His eyes went wide in surprise as I tackled him: a thick vibration rang in the air, jostling my body, and I toppled sideways to lie next to his facedown body. Turning his head to the side, Edward gave me a mockingly stern glare before the look softened and melted into amusement.

I smiled, giving a silent laugh: no vibration came from my lips. Did I win?

No, he replied – snippily, by his facial expression. Of course not, and you know it.

Oh? I do? I raised an eyebrow and rolled to my side, lifting my upper body by my abdominal muscles instead of propping myself up with an elbow. I took his hand. _And how, exactly, do I know that?_

_Because you tackled me. You knew you'd lost._ Another soundless snort escaped my lips and I tossed my head back to let out the sound of nothing.

Smugly pulling his hand away from mine, he lay back against the cool, damp grass and gazed at me through half-lidded, lazy eyes. I looked down at him, considering what I wanted to say next. The light from the house emitted softly through the glass wall, casting elongated, reversed shadows across his face. I was sure that the light highlighted every feature of my face, since I was facing it.

Edward glanced up, and a light of some kind entered his eyes before he looked back at me. He signed quickly, Lie on your back.

Curious, I scooted over and lay down so that my body was right beside his. My eyes wouldn't leave his face for a long minute until I realized that he wasn't looking back at me. Instead, his gaze was focused above him.

Following his lead, I saw what he'd wanted me to see.

The dense cloud cover had slowly melted away over the late afternoon, and now that the sun was completely down, the dark night sky could be seen. It was a rare night, as Edward had told me before, when the omnipresent clouds broke apart and allowed the inhabitants of Forks to view the starry night sky.

I had seen stars before, of course, but there was something especially beautiful about them tonight. It was either the fact that the clouds had broken or the fact that I was watching them in company. I suspected the latter was more accurate.

Edward's hand touched mine. _Do you see Polaris?_

The North Star. I searched for a moment, scanning the infinite depths for the right star. The sky was entirely clear, a wonderful phenomenon that allowed for excellent stargazing. A few of the books Jasper had given me were of the mythology and the science of the stars, and I'd loved them. To know what to call those bright specks in the sky, to read stories…it was interesting. I'd loved those books.

Finally, I found it. _There. That's it, right?_

_Yes, that's it. And do you see, over in that direction…_

I sank into Edward's careful, detailed map of the stars, allowing his soothing, melodic voice to wash over me. Overhead, the stars glowed brightly. My hand in his was gripped loosely, gently, allowing me to remove it at any time if I so wished.

I didn't want to. I wanted to lay there with him until the stars were gone from the sky and the sunrise was claiming the horizon opposite of the sunset.

So I did.

* * *

_**A/N – Today is my birthday!**_

_**Every single one of my work-in-progress Fanfictions has been updated. This means in the **__**Twilight**__** ficdom, "Sunrise" and "Hear No Evil" of course, in the **__**Harry Potter **__**ficdom "Desecration Smile", and in the **__**Supernatural**__** ficdom "Up In Smoke" and "Burning Ice". I also posted a one-shot outtake of "Story of my Life" and posted the first chapter of 'SomL's sequel, "Escape from Normal". Also, I have posted the first chapter of a third **__**Supernatural**__** fic, "Reality Check". I hope you check them out!**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	12. Conflicts

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**A/N – **__Thank you all so much for your lovely, enthusiastic reviews! I know I don't reply very often – but rest assured, I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you! :) _

_Take note that I changed the song section a little (just the last line). :) Enjoy reading!_

* * *

"…_If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave_

_This alone, you're in time for the show…_

…_I'm the one that you need…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Twelve – Conflicts**

* * *

Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

The early weeks of school drew me into a routine that quickly became monotonous.

From class to class, the systematic lecture-and-activity format was, at first, intriguing and a relief to follow. My life became a series of checkpoints and balances between school days, nights, and weekends. During weekends, I would hunt to keep my stamina up. And during the week, I would actually pay attention in class and discover everything that my siblings had already learned.

None of my classes drew any particular interest, but I did begin studying with Jasper outside of school. I'd picked up a book in Carlisle's library when I'd gone in to ask him about our next hunting excursion – up in the mountains, since I liked them – and just like that, I'd become fascinated with history.

It might have been because there was so much about humans I didn't know. Or it might have been the realization that I'd missed out on so much while wandering the continent, lost and scared. Whatever the reason, I was hooked and I wanted to learn more.

Jasper helped me since he was the most scholarly member of the Cullen family. He was also an excellent teacher. Sometimes Edward helped out, allowing me to hear Jasper speak instead of having myself limited to sign language, books and a small chalkboard to understand what my instructor was saying. Edward would have helped more, but he had to have time for himself – Jasper and I insisted.

It was when we reached the 1800's that I realized that these styles of dress, diagrammed in the book, were hauntingly familiar. I knew for a fact that the deteriorating dress I had been wearing when I ran across the Quileute territory had been in that style of dress.

I'd sketched out what it used to look like, and Carlisle agreed with me: I was from that time. The only thing we didn't know was where I had come from geographically. No maps of the United States that I looked at gave me any memory bursts, and to be honest, I didn't quite care. Right now, I was only interested in my life here, and in my education.

Learning outside of school was more interesting than the subjects inside it. The only thing I found interesting at Forks High School by November was the student population. After such a long time without being able to hear anything at all, listening in on student's voices was almost a privilege.

In one way, it was interesting and I enjoyed being able to hear them talk at all. But on the other hand, the subjects that were circulated could not have been duller. It was the mere act of listening that captured my attention, rather than the words themselves.

But some words certainly drew my attention.

* * *

It was early November, now, and Edward and I had Gym. I was in the locker room, and as I turned to pull my gym shorts on I saw two girls giggling over a piece of paper. They glanced up at me, but I didn't meet their gaze: I watched them through my peripheral vision as I looked up at the clock.

I saw the paper, though: it was pastel pink. I'd also learned color names once, when Jasper and I had drifted off history once.

I tried not to let it bother me too much. I'd grown used to overhearing – through Edward – random snippets of other students thinking I was strange and weird. I wasn't sure why they thought that, but I guessed it had something to do with my handicap. I didn't let myself dwell on it: what did I care, whether or not those girls thought I was strange or normal?

The note and the girls left my mind as I headed out the door to participate in the class. Edward smiled and pushed away from the wall, coming over to me as I exited the locker room. He signed a simple hello and I replied, and we carried on a nonsensical conversation for a few minutes until our teacher came out.

Class seemed incredibly short, as I was kept mostly on the sidelines and Edward was like my personal bodyguard and tutor in all things P.E. When we split up to go to the locker rooms, I didn't pay attention to any of the girls around me. When they'd almost all left and I was rooting through my bag for the hairbrush that I kept stowed away, I looked around.

And it was then that I saw the pastel pink sheet of paper lying crumpled beside the trashcan.

I didn't know what came over me then. All I knew was that I glanced around at the remaining girls in the room, and then darted away from my spot to snatch it off the ground when I saw that no one was looking in that direction. Shoving it in my bag and taking my seat again, I finished brushing my hair calmly.

Then I reached into my bag and pretended that I was just removing it. I wasn't sure why I was so curious about that piece of paper, but I was – just enough to open it and begin to read the scrawled words on the page.

_What do you think is wrong with that new Cullen girl? I mean, seriously!_

_**Oh, I know! She's such a B-I-T-C-H. **_

_She's always hanging on Edward Cullen. Like, literally hanging on to his hand or something! _

_**Can't she walk on her own? I thought she was deaf, not paralyzed or paraplegic or – whatever!**_

_Obviously not – she's such a freak, she can't be let anywhere alone._

_**Do you think that's why the Cullens are always around her? They can't bear to let poor, defenseless little Bella loose on her own?**_

_Especially those hot guys – they never let her go anywhere alone. You'd think she was trying to steal them from the Stone-Heart Supermodel and Little Miss Perky. _

_**Maybe she is – it'd be nothing more than she deserved if they started ignoring their new 'sister' the same way they've ignored the rest of us.**_

_What bugs me the most is that she's totally messed up my chances with Edward this year!_

_**You so could have had him if **_**she**_** hadn't popped up on the scene. **_

_Especially since she dresses like a slut. Not like me._

_**Definitely nothing like you! She's probably got Edward thinking he can get in her pants – and she'd probably let him just to keep him on a leash!**_

_I know! Ugh, that deaf freak needs to – _

The note was torn at the bottom, separating the final words to hanging scrap of paper.

– _learn her place!_

That was it. All their venomous, untrue words spilling black ink stains across a putrid pink scrap of paper, all those little lies that made up this horrendous little note, and I felt my heart – not beating, just there – squeezed tightly. A cold feeling formed in the pit of my stomach.

What was this? These human girls, who knew nothing about life – nothing about me – had told these vicious rumors to a piece of paper that was left on the locker room floor where anyone could have picked it up. Anyone! And I was the one who had, who discovered these lies that had been told between two young, childish girls.

I couldn't begin arguing with this note. I wasn't a female dog, for one thing, and for another I wasn't 'hanging on' to Edward. I needed him to hear! That was a gift far beyond anything they could ever possibly hope to comprehend in their puny, insignificant lives! I wasn't trying to mess up my new sister's relationships with their mates – that was utterly ridiculous.

And – these girls had the nerve to say that I was the whore? They, who wore skirts that wouldn't have even been _considered_ in my time: who wore shirts so indecent that I felt embarrassed for them: who decided that badmouthing someone different from them was something to giggle about? What was this world coming to?

And then there were the things that I couldn't dismiss, that I couldn't sneer at, as easily as the previous ones. Those few that I was incensed about I knew, without a doubt, were untrue. But there were a few things that I couldn't shake out of my mind as I balled up the paper into a tiny ball.

For one, did the Cullens think that I was defenseless on my own? I knew that I was accepted into their family, and that I was a part of their lives now. They knew I had lived on my own for a long time. But did that equate to me being able to take care of myself, or did that mean they thought I had to be taken care of now that they were around to do it?

That wasn't my most pressing, immediate and downright heart wrenching thought, however. That was the question of whether or not I was a freak.

Wasn't I the only vampire the Cullens had ever heard about who was deaf? Wasn't I the vampire of the Cullen family that could essentially tap into powers by touching someone? Wasn't I the special one in school, too, considering my handicap? Didn't I take a lot of looking after, considering I couldn't hear unless Edward was nearby and touchable? Not to mention that I couldn't remember my past, and I had no idea why it was so – why I only caught snippets and flashes of memory from the time when I was alive.

To my surprise, the question that popped into my mind when I stood, slinging my bag over my shoulder, was whether one of the girls who had written this note had actually stood a chance to be with Edward. Somehow, that was the question that made my feet freeze to the ground by the trashcan.

There was a sudden numbness that spread through my body. No, it couldn't be. I tried to reassure myself: if Edward were interested in anyone in that way – that he denied himself for almost his whole existence – he'd know what was going through their mind. He would know what they were thinking. Whoever this girl was, she obviously had venomous thoughts to go with her terrible hand.

But all the same, the thought filled me with a sense of dread and unease. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought that Edward would love any of the human girls at this dreadful school. That any one of these females could draw his attention to them… The idea left me feeling ill of heart.

I couldn't stay in the locker room any longer, for I had to leave to head towards lunch. But how I didn't want to go – how I just wanted to curl up in a corner and let this stress go, somewhere, somehow…

My feet carried me to the door, and – without thinking about it consciously – I dropped the note into my backpack. I suddenly wanted to keep it.

When I stepped outside the locker room and saw Edward waiting there for me, I smiled – but it was strained. And I almost reached for him, before I remembered what was in my bag. Then I knew that I couldn't touch him: I didn't want him to know about this. I didn't want him to hear about it.

The thought of Edward knowing about the note and its authors made me feel sick again, and embarrassed beyond belief. I simply couldn't let him know what was bothering me.

And he could tell, the instant I politely refused to take his hand and crossed them over my chest instead. Raising an eyebrow, he asked Is something wrong, Bella? My unwillingness to unfold my arms was like a double-refusal to speak, even as I shook my head and adopted an expression void of the turmoil I felt. With a troubled face, he accompanied me to the cafeteria, simply walking by my side instead of half-leading me.

We didn't hold hands that much while walking unless we wanted to talk to each other. This lunch, none of my new siblings seemed to notice that I avoided touching Edward's hand the whole time we 'ate' lunch. I didn't sulk in my seat between my brothers, but I also didn't make much of an effort in the conversation.

I was silently laughing and paying attention to the conversation to keep up appearances. I didn't glance in the direction of the girls from my Gym class once; any time I thought about them, a sharp spike of that gut-wrenching sadness would envelop me.

Jasper looked at me once or twice, but I quickly pulled up my feelings of contentment by thinking about the life I had with the Cullens. It was enough to keep him from getting too suspicious of me, but I also knew that my mood swings weren't going unnoticed by Edward.

I felt his eyes on me all lunch, and then the whole period of Biology – and then our last class of the day, too. On the way home, he had to pay attention to the road more than me, but that didn't really allow for much freedom.

Because the cars seated five each, Edward and I were riding in his Volvo while the rest of our siblings took Rosalie's favorite red car. So, not only was he already focused on me but I was also the only one in the car with him.

I tried to distract myself by placing my hand over the speaker to feel the vibrations of the music tingling through my fingers. I did the same thing when Edward played the piano: I could feel the rhythm and beats through my fingers. And if I placed my hand on his exposed arm, I could actually hear the tune instead of just feeling it.

Normally, I would have touched him now to find out which song was playing. But instead of doing that, I stayed shrunken into my corner of self-imposed solitude and tried not to think about that painful note.

When we reached home, I pretended I was fine. I smiled at Esme, greeted her and moved past her to the stairs. When it was appropriate, I escaped up the staircase to my bedroom. There, I closed the door, dropped my bag to the floor, and began pacing.

What did those girls have against me? I was different, but in a subconscious way for them; they should have been scared of me without knowing why, the way they were slightly wary of the Cullen family. Instead, they were creating lies and rumors. And those made-up facts hurt so much more than anything else they could have done to me.

I knew it was ridiculous. I knew that it was absolutely absurd for me to care so much about this note, and what these pitiful human girl-children thought of me. But at the same time, I couldn't help feeling the pain and confusion that note caused.

It wasn't specifically them I wanted the approval of…it was the population of Forks. In some twisted way in my own mind, I had begun to believe that I needed their acceptance. Maybe it was because I hadn't been anywhere near civilization, period, for so long.

And then I had to wonder if I was just projecting my fears onto the humans. It wasn't so much the note, as it was the fear that my family thought this same thing that the girls had written. It was the fear that the Cullen family thought I was a 'deaf freak' when I couldn't hear them.

Didn't I manage to hide some of my thoughts from Edward while we were touching and communicating, mind to mind? Couldn't they do the same whenever I touched him? I knew it was ridiculous; what a conspiracy the family had against me, in my own paranoid thoughts! What devious minds they all had!

It couldn't be true. I knew that. The theory was ridiculous. But it didn't stop my fear and it didn't help me feel any better. Because…

I saw myself as a freak.

I was a deaf vampire. Hadn't Carlisle said that he'd never heard of that before? Hadn't I had an entirely different 'before Cullen' life than anyone else? Wasn't I the one who had strangely colored eyes at first, until my diet had been limited to animal blood? And I couldn't remember my life before my transformation into a vampire – and it only came back in random little snippets.

I was a freak.

My eyes traversed the land outside my window. The late evening of an early November day cast a pallid light through the thin clouds. It was a Friday; tomorrow was the start of a two-day break from school – from humans. We would hunt in the morning, since I was thirsty and with my low level of control, I needed to feed before heading back into human company.

I couldn't stop my restless pacing, and as the sun sank lower I tried harder not to think about all that I'd been worrying over in my head. It came to no avail; I kept circulating the same thoughts in my head, over and over again.

Until I felt a faint vibration in the air around me: I turned to the door, expecting to see it open, but instead only a closed wooden panel greeted my face. The vibration shivered through me again, and I headed towards the door in curiosity. Even if I wanted to be alone, I'd have to open the door to see the person on the other side.

Opening it, I was greeted with the sight of Edward, his bowed to show only his unruly bronze hair. I only got a glimpse of this thoughtful figure: almost immediately, he lifted his head and gave me a tight smile. His eyes shone with his worry.

I felt a momentary spike of sadness – he'd noticed? But I couldn't just let him stand in my doorway and not say anything to him. Hello, Edward. Come in, I gestured past me, moving back to allow him to enter my room.

He moved past me, heading towards the window as I stayed near the entrance to my room. Closing the door, I turned to face him and waited, as he looked at me from across the room. Raising his hands, he asked, Bella, are you all right?

Why do you ask? I hedged, avoiding answering his question.

For a long minute, he stared at me. His eyes were intense and worried for me, and I knew that I wasn't doing a very good job of 'sounding' fine. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand in my direction – silently asking for the ability to tell me directly, and hear my truthful reply.

I felt trapped. A part of me wanted to trust him with this, tell him what was really wrong and what I feared. I knew that if I touched him, he'd hear it all. Every last bit of it would spill from my mind to his. The dilemma was whether or not I thought I could really tell him all that.

For one long moment, I stared at his hand. And I made my choice. Striding carefully towards the center of the room, where he stood waiting for me, I stretched out my hand and laid my palm flat on top of his hand. It felt like a rush of words in my own head as I told him, tumbling over myself in haste.

_There were two girls in the locker room and the pink note was on the floor by the trash can so I picked it up and read it and I'm scared that it's true – well, not all of it, just some of it because I've been worried for a while whether or not I was a freak and maybe I am but they figured it out and they're human girls and I don't like the way they think of you, either –_

Too much information! Before I could even begin to hear his response I tore my hand away and flew towards the window, folding my arms over my stomach. I couldn't look at him; I was so mortified by all that I'd told him. I had only planned to let him know that the girls had written a note, and that I had read it and it was bothering me.

But the last part, especially, had not been figured into my mapped-out words.

I felt him, right behind me, but I couldn't even look in the window to see his reflection in the glass. I was so scared of what I might see on his face… A smooth, long-fingered hand curled over the top of one of my hands that was clenched around my upper arm.

He slipped his fingers underneath my hand; drawing me out of the utter silence I had been enveloped in. _What happened? What did they say – write, about you? Who are they?_

_Nobody. They're nobody. _I tried not to think about what had been in the note, but I couldn't stop myself from picturing the pink scrap of paper as I slipped it into my bag. Instantly, he was gone from my side and I couldn't bear to turn away from the window.

His face was reflected on the glass back at me, however. I watched as he grabbed my bag and rooted through it. I swallowed hard as he pulled it out and uncrumpled the sheet, flattening it between his palms. And I was completely frozen before he stiffened, staring down at the caustic words scribbled on the page.

A curious look overtook his face. I saw anger, fury and concern flash across his face. A myriad of emotions crossed his features before he crumpled the paper into dust and let the pieces float to the carpet. Then I turned on my heel, ready to reprimand him for his anger.

I could see it in every outline of his body, and I knew that he had to calm down. He had a temper, as I'd heard from his family. I didn't want him to lose it – not now, and not over my problem. It simply wasn't rational.

But he seemed to think it was. It took two strides for him to reach me, and then he tilted my chin up with one gentle finger. Brilliant topaz eyes stared down at me, their dark depths clearly displaying their concern and barely-disguised fury.

Something in me snapped when I saw that on his face. It was a mix of his concern for me, for the way he'd treated the note as if it were worthless, and the way he was looking at me even now. All I knew was that I felt some kind of wall inside of me crumbling down – and I fell forward into his arms.

Straining to reach around his back, I pulled myself to his chest and shuddered with tearless, soundless sobs. I didn't realize I'd done it until I felt him cradling me close, holding me tightly to his body. We stood like that for a long time, with my head buried into his silky-to-the-touch shirt and him stroking my hair in a comforting gesture.

I could feel all the fear and worry pouring off of me as I finally relaxed. The stress of my confused mind-ramblings and cyclic thoughts was shattered and I no longer worried about what could be true or false. I no longer fretted about whether or not their words were true, on some level, or if they were just being cruel and heartless gossiping teenagers. I didn't think about if my family thought I was a freak – or if I really was one. I let the hug do its job, and I felt a thousand times better.

Edward's hand found its way into mine and he pressed his palm to mine. _Bella, none of what they wrote is true. _

_I know that. I know. But it still hurt. And what if I am a freak, Edward?_ I found that it was, in fact, easy to talk to him about this. Much easier than I thought it would be…

_No, Bella. You're different – of course you are. You're not a human, so they can't judge you from their perspective. You may have a disability, but you're still a person. Your handicap doesn't define you, not if you don't let it. _His reassurances could only go so far.

I pulled away from him to look straight at his face. _But they still talk about me because of my deafness. You can't have been oblivious to the thoughts that you hear in the halls._ I'd heard them, even though I hadn't made a big deal of it at the time. I could hear the thoughts of my disability, and could hear people thinking about how strange and different I was.

_No, I haven't been oblivious. But I also know that humans can be like sheep. They usually think alike, they tend to fear and mistrust that which they don't understand, and they aren't open to anything truly different from what they think of as the 'norm'. You are not normal in the ways they think of as 'normal'. _

That sounded vaguely interesting. _What do you mean? Am I or am I not a freak? _He scowled at my words. _I'm a deaf vampire who can't remember anything about her human life. How is that normal in any sense of the word?_

His eyes flickered to the side and I had the brief impression that he'd made a split second decision, too fast for me to follow his thoughts. _Alice can't remember her human life, either,_ he reminded me gently. _To each other, you are a level of normal that no one else is on. _

I felt slightly embarrassed that I hadn't thought of Alice before, when circulating my arguments. That was one of the reasons we'd bonded: our lack of memory about our human lives was a uniting factor between my sister and I. _But she's not deaf,_ I argued weakly.

_Carlisle has his theories on that, which you know well. And there are plenty of people in the world who can't hear. Just because they haven't been changed into one of our kind doesn't mean that they wouldn't be deaf in this state, too. _

Desperately, I asked, _What about my hands? I can touch a vampire and observe their ability. I can touch the ground and feel a radius of a few miles – and that means all those miles, Edward. What about that? What's not freakish or weird about that?_

He soothed me easily. _And I can read minds. Alice can see the future. Jasper can feel and influence emotions. All of these things come because we are vampires and when we were human, we most likely had traits that sharpened and strengthened with the addition of vampire venom to our bloodstreams. If you're a freak, so are we. _

_But I'm still stranger than all of you._

_No, you're not. Your hands are just more sensitive than anyone else's. How is that stranger than being able to hear people thinking? _He grinned slightly, trying to make me smile in return. _Wasn't your ability also a good thing for you, when you weren't with us? It helped you. And your abilities make you the person that you are today. And that kind, interesting young woman is certainly _not_ a freak._

I couldn't help smiling a little at his sweet words and let his reassurances soothe away the latent aches in my soul. _Well, I was wrong. You have another ability, Edward. _

_Oh, really? What is the second one? _Edward asked, one eyebrow rising in confusion.

_You know just the right things to say to make a girl feel good about herself again. _To my surprise, he pulled his hand away from mine once he'd heard my response. His smile didn't waver for a second – in fact, it grew wider in response to my words.

But there was a shadow behind his eyes now, a smokescreen that seemed to echo his emotions but stopped just short of being credible. There was something he was hiding behind those topaz eyes of his now, something that had come into play just moments ago. I was confused.

I tilted my head in confusion as he backed up a little. He raised his hands. I was going to play some music on the piano. Would you like to come and listen?

Before I said yes, I sensed that I should say no. I should stay away, to allow him time to work out his own thoughts on the piano. But for some reason, I desperately wanted to be near him. Chalking it down to gratitude for the relief he'd given me from my troubled thoughts, I compromised with myself. I would not like to hear, but to feel if that is all right. 

Of course it is. He led the way to my door, opening it and allowing me to move through first before he followed. We walked down, side by side in the corridor and on the staircase. I brushed my hand against the wall as we walked, and I could feel the entire house just like I could feel on the forest floor.

Rosalie and Emmett were in their room, most likely scratching away at the homework that would take only five minutes to complete, at most. Jasper was walking along the bookshelf in his study, looking for something to read most likely. Alice was prancing about her closet, probably putting away clothes and rearranging them. Carlisle was in his study, mimicking Jasper's movements with his own selection of literature. And Esme was in another room on the first floor, where I knew she kept her easel.

Edward made a beeline for the piano, but I hung back a bit to stare at the beautiful instrument from a short distance. As he settled onto the bench before the instrument, I circled around toward the other side of the grand piano.

His fingers would have blurred had my sight been that of a human, but as I wasn't I could see his fingers moving clearly and quickly along the keys. Pressing my hands to the sides of the instrument, I could feel the vibrations tingling up my arms. Each individual note had a slightly different feeling, and I could sense them all as he lightly pressed the keys to form a song.

As I felt the music, I relaxed even more than I already had up in my room. Edward was helping me in every way possible. I could not have been more thankful towards him if I tried to: he was doing so much for me. He was the one person I could tell anything to, the one person that knew my every thought just from a single touch.

He was kind to a fault; he was loyal and true to his family. He was spirited and strong, and he was wonderful in any way I could imagine. My eyes lifted from the sleek body of the piano to watch him as he played.

His dark lashes almost touched his cheekbones; he had his eyes closed as he played. The last, glimmering rays of sunlight from outside sent a soft glow to his skin, and the bronze of his hair shone with the dim light. He looked like an angel. Suddenly, I became aware of the fact that he was wearing his shirt with two buttons undone. His sleeves were rolled up past his elbows, and the strong cords of muscles on his arms stood out as he moved them over the instrument to create the music that I could feel.

Why was I so attuned to him, all of a sudden? Why was I noticing all these insignificant things about him? The tilt of his head as he played the music by ear: the way he pressed his bare feet to the ground, toes splayed: the way he sat straight and tall on the backless bench. Everything about him, I took in like a dehydrated man took in water. I soaked it in, my mind a sponge.

The curling feeling in the pit of my stomach grew until it was unbearable. Why did I feel this way when I looked at Edward? Why did I enjoy our time together so much? It was overbearingly intense, and I felt like running away, sitting beside him, and staying where I was – all at once. What was wrong with me?

And when I asked myself that question, something in the back of my mind whispered an answer.

Because you like him, Bella, as more than a sibling and friend…

No. I pushed the thought away. Why would I feel that way for Edward? I barely knew him, even now when I'd been among the Cullens for several months. Was it possible to fall for someone that quickly? It had to be a crush, merely a passing fancy for a boy – man, my mind hissed – who was kind to me, who was the first male I'd ever formed a friendship with.

It had to be. I pushed away from the piano, making sure that a smile was lighting my face. It wasn't that hard: all I had to do was think of Edward and I was happy. With him in front of me, I was automatically at ease. He opened his eyes, meeting mine, and returned the smile.

I told him quickly, The song feels beautiful. I have to do my schoolwork, though. Don't stop playing: I love it. Thank you for everything, though, Edward. He nodded in reply, smiling, his fingers not halting in their movements. I brushed past him, making my way to the stairs without looking back.

My alien feelings for him, the one person in my life who truly understood me, could not be revealed. I didn't know if he felt the same way, and if he didn't – well, we were vampires. In all likelihood, we would live for eternity. To have something like my fleeting crush making our friendship awkward would be unbearable.

I cursed my feelings. Just because he was kind to me, and understood me so well, I had to develop feelings for him beyond that of what we actually had. I couldn't ruin our lives for the future: the Cullens were my family, and I was determined to keep smooth sailing. And so I had to keep him from learning that my feelings weren't entirely platonic.

But how much longer could I have a crush on him? Surely those feelings would fade with time.


	13. Empathic

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**A/N – Thank you everyone for your reviews and encouragements! I really appreciate all of you! Thank you so much! **_

_**The song lyric bits I'm using for this chapter are different. :) On my LiveJournal, I dissected the song a while ago (if you go there, then be warned: it's my angst journal when I get depressed, so don't bother with the other entries and just go to the one I posted August 10**__**th**__**, which is the song dissection). Also, there are spoilers in the analysis, so if you don't want spoilers, don't read it. ;) **_

_**I hope you enjoy the chapter!**_

* * *

"…_You're the one that I need…_

…_And you can take all the pain away from me_

_A kiss and I will surrender…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen – Empathic**

* * *

Mount Rainier, Washington – Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

_How long have you been feeling this way?_

Jasper's thought caught me by surprise. We were darting through the trees, searching for our next kill. We hadn't even been talking before he asked me the question: it was one reason I enjoyed hunting with him so much. He wasn't the talkative type when it came to hunting.

I slowed my footsteps, sensing that this wasn't just a randomly brought up subject. "What do you mean?" I asked.

He matched my pace step for step. _You've been feeling something lately, and I was just curious about it. _He was being very careful about his thoughts.

Not knowing what he was asking of me, I slowed even further to a normal, human run. The two of us were alone out here in the forest, on a hunting trip by ourselves. Jasper had asked me to accompany him, for he thought his control couldn't hold out until the next family outing.

Now I was beginning to wonder if there were ulterior motives in his request for me to come along with him. "What are you curious about in particular?" I already knew. What other ones but those that came –

_Whenever Bella is with you – Edward, don't pretend you don't know_, he added hastily, sensing my discomfort and displeasure. "I can't help being empathic." _But it does give me marvelous insight, you know._

"Insight to what, Jasper?" I felt uneasy. My emotions around Bella were haywire at best. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself sometimes whenever I was around her: she was a mystery to me, still. Even after these long months in which our friendship became increasingly more solid, she still surprised me every day. She kept me on my toes and guessing.

I stopped completely when Jasper answered simply. _You love her. _My frozen form seemed to prompt him to continue. _I know what love feels like, Edward. I can sense it, overwhelmingly, every time you look at her. Whenever you think of her, it's there. _

And he had just touched upon and opened up something that I had been trying not to think about. A single conversation in the woods and my secret was no longer mine. It never had been, if he could sense it the whole time.

Swallowing, I stayed still. Unsure. I knew that what I felt was ridiculous. How could I – a soulless monster, a murderer – have an emotion so pure and real inside of me? Affection for my family was one thing: that was impossible for even me to deny. But love…for anyone else, in the shape and form that Jasper was referring to… That was – had to be – impossible.

After all, one needs a soul for that kind of love. And, as real as my family was and as alive as Bella seemed, we were all without souls. Cursed as immortals, to wander without that essence in our bodies for the rest of our eternity. As much as I longed for Bella to be of a different stature, there was no denying that she was one of us. That made her the same.

And still, the feelings that I could not deny swamped my insides with a fire whenever we were close. I longed for something I could not understand. I wanted something that I never thought I would ever consider. After all my long years alone, I was finally feeling the intense urge to seek out a different type of companionship than that which I had in my family.

And I didn't know what to do about it.

Jasper's hand closed gently around my shoulder. He knew that I was listening, considering his words, as he allowed his mind to say it all instead of verbal words.

_I've sensed it for a long time, now. There's something there, between the two of you. I know that it is your decision, when it comes down to it – but Edward, I must share my opinion with you…I know you. I know that you've been alone – and lonely – for so long that you think it is what you want. That it is your decision. That's no longer the case, which you can well see since you long to be with Bella._

_Our family doesn't enjoy seeing you alone. Believe me, I should know how much they worry whenever we do take the time to stop and watch you be by yourself. You know that we want your happiness. If I had told anyone else about what I sensed, you know that they would encourage you to seek that type of relationship with Bella._

"You haven't said anything to them?" I asked, surprised. I was sure that Alice, at least, would have known. Jasper never kept anything from her. Secrets were not lightly kept in our family, and everyone knew everything about each other. That was simply the way it was.

_No. And I didn't speak out loud, and she can't hear our thoughts. I thought that it was your decision to actually tell anyone. Alice may see the outcome of your decision, of course, but until then I think I should respect your privacy as much as I can._

"Thank you." I appreciated his efforts to keep this from becoming open knowledge. I was sure that it would become known eventually, but until then I did not want my family badgering me with it. They wouldn't mean to, but their thoughts couldn't be kept from me. I would know.

_What else could I have done? You know, Edward… I think that you should act upon your feelings._

I smiled humorlessly. That would be wonderful – if she felt the same. "And what if my feelings are not returned, Jasper?" I didn't want to scare her off, away from our family, just because of my feelings. We were her home, but I didn't know if she would feel threatened by what I felt.

She didn't know much about her past, but from her reactions the first day we met, and even the unconscious things that she would do sometimes, now – it was like watching Esme at a different level. A more extreme level. Carlisle and I were privately sure that Bella had been abused or tortured before her change.

Esme didn't realize what we saw was similar to her, but we didn't have to tell anyone: Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Esme had all seen what Carlisle and I had noticed when I reached toward her. She had flinched. She had been afraid.

And after hearing from her that she couldn't remember why, and seeing the images in her mind, I privately locked away the information in my own head. Neither Carlisle nor I wanted to bring up the subject and cause her to remember something so terrible. She was already suspicious of the same thing, but I knew – firsthand, from her own head – that she didn't want to remember it. Not really.

Whenever the topic of thought or action came to Bella, I only wanted what was best for her. No, more than that: I only wanted what would make her happy. And if, by telling her how I felt, I made her afraid or unhappy that our relationship had taken such a turn, I would never be able to forgive myself. She deserved happiness. She should have been an angel, and she still deserved whatever joy she could get.

That was why I couldn't pursue this with her, not really. I repeated myself. "What if she doesn't…?" Doesn't love me, doesn't want me as anything more than a friend…

His answer shocked me._ I'm the one who can sense her emotions, Edward._

"You know." He knew what she felt for me.

_Yes._

He was carefully concealing the knowledge from his thoughts, and I sighed. "But you aren't going to tell me."

_It's not my place to tell either of you what the other feels. It is entirely up to the two of you to do anything about this. Either act on what you feel – or don't. I can't command you to go either way, Edward. I can't tell you what you should do._

"But you are nudging us along, aren't you?" I guessed from his words. Turning to face him, I asked simply, "Why?"

_I've already explained that part of it._ He smiled sadly. _Be happy, Edward. Don't deny yourself something that you've needed for a long time and have only just found. Is it such a sin to be a little bit selfish, just this once? Is it so terrible for you to seek out love?_

I didn't answer, but he knew why. After a long moment, he led our way back onto the hunt. And I continued to pursue my thoughts, seeking out an answer.

* * *

Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

The platonic feelings did not return to me.

Instead, the other feelings grew worse by the day. If I thought before I was attuned to him, now it was ridiculous. He stepped into a room and I knew where he was before a single vibration was made. He made a movement and my eyes darted to whatever part of his body had moved. He spoke and I listened with rapt attention to every syllable that echoed in my head.

Each move he made became part of my focus. I watched him when he was working in class, when he was playing his piano, and when he was simply reading a book with no motion besides the gentle turning of pages. I couldn't help myself: I was addicted to drawing in every little thing possible about him – watching every move he made.

My observations yielded much information. I learned that he was often caught in thought when he wasn't speaking to me. I saw that he always placed himself on the edge of conversations and family meetings, as if needing a quick escape. I noticed that he wasn't very physically affectionate towards anyone, in a reserved, almost old-fashioned respect for personal space.

By the time two weeks had passed, with my affection growing stronger by the day, I began to wonder how he could possibly not see it. I was sure that it was obvious, that everyone had to be able to see the way I felt about Edward. Instead, it looked like I was alone in the knowledge.

I was careful about what I thought whenever we touched – on guard, always making sure that I wasn't thinking something I didn't want him to hear. It was very hard, and a lot of the time I worried that I'd let something slip without meaning to. Paranoia was my constant companion.

And then, after two weeks had gone by without me lifting a single finger to help myself gain what I truly wanted, something changed in the dynamics of our relationship. It wasn't tangible or plain, but I could sense it whenever I was with Edward.

After an outing with Jasper for a short hunt, he closed off slightly, just a tiny bit more than he was already alone. He sought out his silent, lonely solace with ease, since I had no idea how to stop him from locking himself away.

His family didn't even try. When I asked Alice, she merely scowled at the stairs, then returned a beam to me and said that he was just in a thoughtful mood. But his mood lasted for a week. He didn't close me off completely, nor did he become a recluse.

But our mind-chatter in the minutes before class began had ceased. We didn't talk about nonsense – in our heads – any more. He didn't shy away from my touch, but he didn't actively seek it out. After two failed attempts to talk before class, I realized that whatever he was thinking about was troubling him greatly. And so I left him alone.

By the end of the week, he was back to his normal self, talking to me whenever he got the chance – and even going above and beyond that. Now we hung around together after school for hours, even more than before. Over the course of another week, we became attached at the hip.

This change was staggering. And my heart was thrilled at the closeness that we were beginning to share.

However, I found myself torn between wanting desperately for this to continue – and knowing that, if he didn't feel the same as I did, then there would be nothing to stop the shattering of my heart if he refused me.

I wasn't planning on informing him of my affections, but I was realistic. Right now, whenever we spoke my thoughts were distracted from the crush that had blossomed into something that was definitely more. It was only a matter of time, however, before I slipped and did think of my affection for him when he could hear me.

Until then, however, I was golden. Even most of my family was unable to tell that I had feelings for Edward – _most _of them.

* * *

Jasper cornered me in the library one evening, while I was reading a book that Edward thought I'd like. I liked it simply because he'd given it to me. And I had decided to read it that night while he was out with Emmett, heading towards Mount Rainier for a hunt. Jasper usually went with him – a hunting trip for brothers only – but this time, he stayed home.

I didn't think anything of it, not even when I sensed his movements in the library. Technically, it was his study – but I found it the best place in the house to read, for the shelves of books around me were somehow comforting. I was curled up in the leather chair in the corner, unobtrusive and out of the way.

Then he pulled out his desk chair and dragged it over, sitting down to face me. I lifted my eyes from the book and blinked at him, surprised. I wondered for a moment if he wanted privacy in his study – if he had, I wouldn't have minded.

Instead, his eyes were calculating as he studied me. There were flickers of amusement in his eyes, and something akin to hope was also present. His lips twitched up at the corners as he stared at me. I raised an eyebrow and closed my book, placing it on my lap. What is it?

He grinned. Your emotions have been very interesting lately, Bella. 

My stomach twisted uncomfortably, and my hands trembled as I asked. What do you mean?

Jasper's smile grew in response to my confusion, becoming gentler as he sensed my discomfort. He sent a wave of soothing peace towards me – then he signed. You love Edward.

The book in my lap fell to the floor.

I dove after it, the embarrassment lighting my non-beating heart not solely the product of my clumsiness. The idea that Jasper could sense what I felt had never even crossed my mind: my only concern had been to keep Edward from hearing it in my thoughts.

When I'd righted myself in my chair again, feeling the flush of embarrassment being swept from my veins by Jasper's influence, I dared look at him again. He was amused. I – Then I stopped. I didn't know what to say.

Your feelings were very clear, Jasper told me. He studied my face again, taking in more than that. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. 

Yes, there is. You know. After all this time of trying not to let Edward know, I sighed. Running a hand through my hair, I tried to think of something else to say. I do not want him to know.

He frowned. Why not? You love him – wouldn't you want him to know about that? I sensed that this question was mandatory, more than anything else.

No one knew my reasoning, since no one had asked yet. Your family has been so good to me, Jasper. There is so much that I owe to all of you, and especially Edward. He has been such a good friend to me. I am not strong enough to risk that friendship, for anything. 

How do you know it is a risk if you do not know what he feels? Jasper challenged. Did you ever consider that he might have feelings for you, too?

It was obvious what he was implying. I was struck – metaphorically – dumb.

He noticed and smiled. You cannot think that you are the only one that I have approached about this topic, Bella. Was Jasper was the source of that dark mood that had Edward nearly silent to me for a week? Edward had gone on a hunting trip with him, alone: just the two of them. Had Jasper broached the topic then?

I couldn't help asking with a twisting uncertainty in my stomach. What did Edward say? I felt anxiety curl into a tight, unforgiving ball. What does he feel?

Jasper shook his head. I cannot tell you that. He needs to tell you himself.

I scowled. Jasper –

Bella. He smiled at me, reassuring me with a single push of calm. Relax. I just believe that he has the right to tell you for himself. Mind you, he laughed, the sound silent to my ears. That does not mean I am above meddling. I will if I have to. I already am. That was confirmation that he had spoken to Edward…and an explanation for why he was talking to me, now.

But my curiosity reigned. Why are you meddling?

His smile faded slightly and he paused before answering. Ever since Edward was changed, he has been alone: not completely, since he had his family. But he has never had love like the kind I share with Alice, or Esme with Carlisle, or Emmett and Rosalie. He has always believed that he never needed anyone else to be complete. And I know that if I do nothing and he stays miserably alone, I would never forgive myself for not trying to help him.

So you claim that he does return my feelings? I asked. Excitement – hope – rose in my veins.

Jasper shook his head sternly. It is not my place to tell you what he does or does not feel, Bella. That is up to him. I am simply, he paused, nudging you both in the right direction. His movements were careful and precise, making sure that I wouldn't misunderstand him.

We sat without signing for several long minutes, until I could no longer help myself. My lips moved with my fingers in an utterly silent plea. Please tell me. My eyes were wide as I begged him.

He didn't like that: I could see in his face that he was torn between wanting to comply and wanting to stand by his decision. I felt selfish and greedy – but oh, I just had to know! Bella, he began, and then stopped. No. Believe me, I want to – but this is Edward's choice, not mine. It is up to him, and you. You can be the one to make him finally realize that he wasn't complete alone. 

Me? I shook my head. Jasper, no – I cannot chance ruining our friendship. Not for anything. 

You do not know that you would ruin anything, Bella. He was eager to make me see his point: his movements were sharp and strong. Edward will always be your friend, even if you do tell him your feelings are stronger than that. You want this, Bella – I know you do – so why do you not act on your feelings? 

I didn't answer; he seemed to see that I needed time to think. He smiled down at me as he stood, leaving me with a last comment. Just take a chance. You never know until you try. The risk is sometimes worth the reward in the end, and this is one of those times.

He disappeared from my line of vision – I didn't turn my head to watch him walk out of the room – and I was left sitting alone in the study. Now it was my turn to think.

Jasper had a point. I could see what he meant by taking a chance, by going after what I wanted. And even as I acknowledged that he had a point, I also knew that it would be difficult for me to do what he suggested. I was so afraid of causing anything that might decimate our friendship.

Oh, I knew we would still have one. But to decimate it – cause it to be even that one-tenth less than what it had been before – would be unbearable. I knew that if I took it back, if he didn't return my feelings…he would believe me. But we would never have the same relationship again. I would have planted that seed of knowledge between us, and it would grow into a thorny wall to separate us.

I couldn't risk it. I wasn't strong enough to fight for what I wanted, and I wasn't brave enough to take a leap of faith. I wanted him, desperately, but I simply couldn't bring myself to think of taking that step myself. I was too afraid of 'what if's and rejection.

If Edward didn't catch me when I fell…I would simply keep falling.


	14. First Holiday

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

**_A/N – Everyone is begging for an update! It's so nice for my words to be wanted so much! :D Anyway, the song lyrics are VERY meaningful here – and I really hope that you all like this chapter. WINK (hint: read the lyrics to the song just below this A/N!)_**

**_Addie W. – I still have all that info you gave me (thank you so much again, by the way) but considering that almost no one really reads A/N's because they want the story (not babbling words, :) LOL) I think that at the end of the story, I'll put all that wonderful information in a last, uber-long A/N. :) I did that with 'Curse' and, I think, SomL, and I like that format of all my extra information at the very end. :) Anyway, thanks so much once again!_**

_**Enjoy the update, ladies (and gentlemen…? Random, I know, but most of the authors I know are girls – so are there any guys out there reading 'HNE'?)! I hope you like…;) **_

* * *

"…_Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands…_

…_A kiss and I will surrender…_

…_In love with all of these vampires…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen – First Holiday**

* * *

Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

The walls were plastered with paper flyers, announcing everything from dances to sports games. At the far end of the hall, I could see a boy and girl with class t-shirts on, working together to take down most of the buildup along the walls. The lunch line barriers snaked along the opposite wall, and at the silver-plated heating consoles for food, several lunch ladies were pulling out trays and cleaning up after the rush of kids.

The cafeteria was mostly empty at this point during lunch. I dragged my finger very lightly along the edge of my tray, letting my eyes skip over the few students left in the room. For a day very late in the winter, it was surprisingly mild even though clouds still blanketed the sky with dense gray.

I wasn't sure why it was 'cool', or the thing to do in Forks High, to be outside in the winter weather. I would think that students would want to be inside, where they could be warm. Students were allowed to stay in the cafeteria. But for some reason, they found huddling like sheep outside to be the most intriguing choice on their last day of school before winter break. Human stupidity was limitless.

I sighed. And apparently, so was vampire stupidity. Jasper had confronted me a couple of weeks ago – back in the end of November – and with today's date being December 15th, I had been sitting on the edge of my proverbial seat for nearly three weeks.

It was infuriating, in a way, for me to be stuck in limbo about whether I would pursue this or not. On one hand, I reasoned that it was normal to be hesitant about taking a chance and starting a relationship. I was sure that it was, no matter how much I was still learning about this society.

But on the other hand…I hated perching on this ledge. I hated wondering and stressing, hesitating and second-guessing. I hated seeing shadows or clues everywhere I looked, searching for hints only to draw back and wonder if I was just imagining things. I may have been unreasonably tuned to Edward's every action, but that wonderful concept did not apply to his every thought.

It was especially ironic that I couldn't guess at what he was thinking whenever he acted. Whether it was through signing or through our special version of communication, I could see what he was saying – and I couldn't help wondering if there was more behind the words. If they had double meanings or purposes: if they were supposed to clue me in to his affections, if there were any.

I was driving myself crazy looking for ghosts that weren't there. Or, were they there and I simply couldn't read them? I didn't know which scenario would be worse, to be honest: seeing things that weren't there or overlooking things that were staring me in the face.

A cool hand brushed over mine and I looked up to Rosalie's smile. The bell is going to ring soon. Are you ready to leave? As an answer, I replied with a smile and rose to my feet.

I could sense my family drifting around me, a little portable barrier against the world. Emmett and Jasper were behind me, joking around, and Rosalie and Alice were at my side talking about something or another. And, of course, Edward was right at my elbow, as always, ready for me to reach out to him and say something.

One of the most torturous things about questioning whether or not he felt anything for me other than friendship was how impossible it was to read the man – yes, man. Edward Cullen was no 'boy'. He hadn't been a boy since before his transformation into a vampire, and even then was considered a man in his society, at the age of seventeen.

A frequent worry of mine was whether he felt obligated to be near me, or if he liked being at my side almost constantly. We did have our time away from each other, of course – no one could stand to be with someone else constantly, no matter how strongly they felt for that person. After school, we had at least an hour spent doing things on our own.

And then, of course, we'd always snap back together like we were on a rubber band. We could find something to talk about within the space of a few moments of silence, and the topic could carry on for the entire night if we wished for it to do so. We could hang around each other in silence, and it would be completely comfortable, as we watched TV or read separate novels. Sometimes he played music and I 'listened'. Sometimes we lay out in the backyard, staring at the sky when the clouds broke to expose glittering stars.

It was exhilarating torture, those moments that I craved. I shied away from them in my head, knowing that I wasn't helping myself, my crush – love – at all. But I was unable to stop myself from responding to his reaching, from reaching out myself to while away hours with him.

And now, the start of winter break was barely two hours from now. That would leave us free to be together even more than we already were. Winter break allowed us freedom from the monotony of school, the repetition and unending routine of things. I, as a first-time high school student, found it boring enough: I could only imagine how my siblings felt, but I did know what they thought some of the time, thanks to Edward.

We were in our classroom before I realized that we were. As Edward took his seat, I winced as I realized that I had spaced out during farewells, once again. I had the vague idea that I'd smiled in farewell to my sisters and brothers, but at the same time I knew that I could have paid more attention to them.

My absent-mindedness was another unfortunate side effect of bottling up my emotions. I was masochistic, keeping myself hanging like this: knowing full well exactly how I could pull myself out of my daydream state and back into reality.

Unfortunately, the fear of reality becoming barren rather than blissful was immense. That was what was stopping me from revealing what I felt.

Placing my bag on top of my desk, I rooted through it for my binder and slipped it out. Quickly unlocking the three rings, I slipped out my completed homework and closed the binder, leaving it on my desk as I walked up to the teacher's desk to turn it in on the rapidly growing pile.

On my way back, one of the blond-haired teenage boys was watching me. I could see him out of the corner of my eye. At his attention, I felt like sighing and rushing back to my seat to hide behind the safety of Edward, a barrier between me and the blood that was taunting my inner monster.

These teenage humans, looking after me with that longing which I saw in stares also aimed after my sisters, made me feel weak and vulnerable. It was so strange to be on the receiving end of their gazes, especially since I had no memory of those types of actions before returning to civilized society through the Cullen's help.

Not only was I cut off from regular communication – which was enough to make me feel vulnerable – the stares were unfamiliar. They were unsettling, especially since I couldn't fathom having affection for any one of them. Not when Edward, my Edward, was here and so close I could reach out and touch him – just not in the ways I wished.

And so, when I caught a glimpse of Edward's glare directed at that blonde boy, I couldn't help feeling a rush of something in my stomach, causing butterflies. Not only was the gesture sweet, protective over me when I was uncomfortable, but it was also that it was Edward. It was Edward, gazing at that boy in a predatory way – a _possessive_ way – that had my non-beating heart swelling with hope.

Of course, this was exactly the situation I was thinking about earlier. I mentally smacked my forehead as I moved my bag to the floor and took a seat at my table beside Edward. This was exactly what I was thinking about, wondering all the time if there was something more to Edward's actions than mere friendship.

The protectiveness I had witnessed could have two possible connotations – each that I feared in it's own way. The first was that he was protective of me in a big-brother way; the thought made me feel like my heart was about to break. And the second reason for that glare could be that he felt something more for me – in which case, the butterflies were cued once more.

I pulled out a blank sheet of paper and spread it out on the desk before me. Edward gently reached out, brushing his hand unnoticeably with mine due to a speed faster than human eyes could see. _Just two more classes to get through, and then we have three weeks away from this wretched place._

_Am I sensing a bit too much enthusiasm from you, Edward? What is it you don't like here, besides monotony? _I teased him, knowing that he was just as eager as I was not to have to face temptation from the human bodies walking around us every day.

_Avoiding humans would be much preferable, yes,_ Edward replied. For some reason, the blond boy's face flashed in his mind before he somewhat forcefully thought, _I think that Esme was planning on pulling out our Christmas tree sometime during the day. _

_Oh, yes, you have a fake one._ My lips curled into a smile as I began to copy down the notes, my hand flat on the tabletop and just barely touching Edward's. _Much easier than going out and tearing up a tree for yourselves, isn't it? Or paying money for an expertly chopped-down one?_

_Don't forget that we aren't contributing to environmental woes by just using the same one instead of killing a tree every year. _Edward's smile shone out of the corner of my eye. _She wanted to wait for us before putting on any ornaments. I think we're all going to be doing that later tonight, once Carlisle comes home from work._

_How fun. _I grinned in anticipation, wondering what the ornaments would look like.

I had actually been asking many questions about Christmas. I couldn't remember much about it, or if I'd even had any while human. The impression of a tree was there, however, and I was reasonably sure that I could remember some kind of Christmas spirit feeling. But I couldn't really and truly remember it.

This was going to be my first Christmas, and I was absolutely ecstatic that I was going to be able to spend it with my family. I couldn't imagine a better gift than that. Actually, I still had to go shopping for presents for my family. That was on my schedule for the weekend.

Edward shifted his hand slightly away from mine as the lecture began in earnest, and I concentrated fully on copying down all the notes and making sure that I got everything down. My teachers were tougher on me than the rest of the students – considering that I had to keep on top of everything to prove myself capable, it was understandable. But it was also irritating.

My mind closed in until all I was thinking about was the lecture and the class work. I pushed everything else out of my mind, saving it for later.

* * *

"Do you have the string of white lights?" Alice trilled, reaching out towards Emmett as she danced around the tree. She was all dressed up, in a green dress. With her bare feet and petite stature, she was like a little elf running around, decorating the Christmas tree.

_She's very enthusiastic about this,_ I mentioned to Edward. Our hands kept brushing each other as we helped the rest of the family decorate the tree and house. Earlier that evening, we had each taken separate floors to decorate. Now, we were all gathered around the tree to finish the inside of the house.

Alice and Esme had taken control of the tree's decorations, and Emmett was busy doing the majority of the grunt work while they stepped in to fix it if they thought it was wrong. Carlisle was keeping all the decorations organized. Rosalie and Jasper were twisting garland around the banister of the staircase.

And Edward and I were setting up a crystal nativity scene on one of the tables that had been pushed against the wall. There were still a few boxes of homemade things that Esme was determined to set out around the house, as well. The night was wearing on into extremely early morning hours, and we were having the time of our lives.

Carlisle had pulled out the Christmas music and it had been playing gently in the background all night. I could constantly feel the lightest tremors of vibrations, and whenever I was touching Edward, I could hear the tunes playing. The atmosphere of our home was relaxing and warm.

I didn't let my private thoughts bother me even when Edward and I weren't touching. Why stress myself out over something so troublesome and worrying when we were enjoying ourselves? Why make myself worry and fret? Not tonight. I wasn't going to think about any of that tonight.

Instead, I allowed myself to have fun, and talk to Edward whenever I had the chance. He smiled at me now, having heard my earlier thought. _Alice will be Alice. She always has been and always will be. _

I laughed noiselessly as I reached forward, clearing a space between the Mary and Joseph statuettes. Then I gently laid the cradle between them, making sure that I'd wiped away any smudges on the crystal. Edward was cleaning off the baby Jesus, and as soon as I had placed down the cradle, he was setting that tiny statue inside.

For a long moment, I didn't move from my spot. The nativity scene…it was one of the many traditions I had read about. The whole concept of Christmas felt familiar to me, so I assumed I had at least known about it back in whatever time I came from.

Jasper had helped me find books for my Christmas research. This was the first holiday I was ever going to celebrate, and I had people to celebrate it with. That was a wonderful gift for me, and I knew that my family realized that. I was planning to go out tomorrow and buy gifts for all of them, however, and I just hoped that I would choose the right things.

Predictably, it was Edward who drew me out of my thoughts. With a smile, he took my hand and pulled me over to the tree. _Let's see what we can help with over here._ I willingly let him drag me into the work.

* * *

The sky was almost black, but there was a miracle in the stars – they were actually showing. Christmas Eve had brought with it a clear night, one that was absolutely beautiful. The sky was a velvet black studded with sparkling, clear stars. I wondered if it was my vampire vision that allowed me to see the stars so clearly, or if it was just that clear a night.

My hand rested gently on the glass as I stared out the southern wall at the sky. The clock was nearing twelve – midnight on Christmas Eve. Something about the dead of night on this particular day made it exciting, more so than the hundreds of other midnights I had gone through, awake. Always awake, never sleeping…

I carefully adjusted the sleeve of my cream-colored sweater. Alice had given it to me, telling me that I absolutely had to wear it for Christmas Eve. We had enjoyed ourselves earlier that evening, and now were split up to await the end of the day. Most of the couples in the house had wanted to spend some time alone, so they had. My hand drifted back to the window; my second hand loosely fell back to my side, brushing against my plain black skirt.

The touch on my arm didn't startle me. Even though the lights were all off and I couldn't see a reflection behind me, my hand has been flat against the glass. That had allowed me to feel the vibrations of anyone in the room with me – indeed, in the house. My radius of sensitivity was one mile in all directions, but in a building like the house, it was confined here. I assumed it was because of the three stories and numerous walls and floors that I could reach in vertical height that limited the horizontal reach of my unique ability.

Turning around, I smiled when I saw that it was Edward standing behind me. I should have known it would be him, of course. I'd felt him moving from his room all the way downstairs and towards me. He took my hand without hesitation. _Only a few more minutes until it is officially Christmas Day,_ he commented lightly.

_I know. I'm so excited,_ I beamed. _I can hardly believe this is actually happening. My first holiday, and it's Christmas. _

_Technically, Halloween would have been your first holiday celebration,_ he corrected me gently, leaning against the glass with one shoulder to face me. His own shirt, a red button-up, hitched up slightly due to his position and exposed a bit of his side and the waistband of his black dress pants. I fought not to let the magnets in my eyes draw my gaze there.

I waved me free hand. _Halloween doesn't count. We didn't really celebrate it as a family. It only happened at school – and frankly, I didn't really care about it since it was all in school. I didn't even really understand what it was all about, even though I read those books about it. _

_Well, you can never really understand something until you experience it for yourself. _He smiled down at me, lifting his free hand to brush away a few strands of hair from my face. I was suddenly very grateful that I had taken Rosalie's advice and left my long hair free flowing and loose.

And I immediately thought of my missing sense. I had no idea what it was like to hear until Edward came into my life. And yes, if someone had explained it to me – or even given me a book to read about the sense – I wouldn't have been able to understand.

In turn, it made me worry about Christmas. I had only read about it in the books Jasper had helped me get. And Christmas Eve was passing; we had spent most of the month preparing for it. I'd been told stories about past Christmases the Cullens had shared together. And I knew the basic idea of Christmas, as each family member saw it. But did I understand?

Edward was instantly reassuring me. _Of course you do. I don't see why you doubt yourself so much or feel so terrible for a simple holiday. _

_It's so important to all of you. And I don't know anything about it – well, I read books. I learned about it._ I sighed._ But that's not enough, Edward. I still don't completely understand._ I knew facts, but not the whole picture. I knew things, but not everything.

He shook his head, not with a mocking expression or a sympathetic one – just a matter-of-fact look that didn't make me feel bad about my limitations. _It's not a matter of understanding. It's a matter of feeling. Christmas is mostly about family, about love. You know that._

I shook my head drawing away. He was being far too kind – making my imagination run wild – but I knew he didn't understand. He would, since I would make sure of it, but he didn't yet understand exactly what I was trying to tell him.

He reached for my hand again, taking it securely between his. _What is it?_ Edward asked, concern flitting behind his topaz eyes.

_Well, now I know that. Don't you see? _I smiled slightly, shaking my own head. _That's what I mean about understanding. I don't understand all that much. _

_You understand a lot more than you think, Bella._

I raised an eyebrow. _Like what? _

His gaze was intense as he focused on me. _You know our family intuitively well, even in such a short time of knowing us. You've learned so much since you came to us, and it hasn't been very long that we've known you. And you know me better than anyone else ever has._ Then, in an echo after he'd finished directing his thoughts to me, I heard._ You're important to me._

I was touched. _Really? Important to you? _I smiled slightly as I said this: we had told each other before that we were important to one another. I had told him before how much his friendship meant to me. I didn't think anything of it, other than that I wanted to know what he was talking about this time, me meaning so much to him in the middle of a conversation about understanding.

But for some reason, his reaction was different from what I expected. He winced, as if just realizing that I had heard him. _I didn't mean for you to hear that,_ he told me.

_Why not?_ I asked, confused. I'd heard him plainly thinking that I was important to him. But for some reason, the realization that I'd heard him was making Edward avoid my eyes and be unable to form a response.

He was doing that as he replied. _It doesn't matter._

_You're hiding something from me,_ I accused, stepping back from him slightly. It confused me.

_No, I'm not._

But he was, and I knew it. He seemed to hear me at the same time as he backed away from me. Taking his hand from mine, he turned his back to me and strode away, his gait agitatedly quick. He was on the other side of the room before I realized it.

I pursued him, of course. Something in his refusal to talk to me about this, his avoidance of my very means of communication, had butterflies drifting in my stomach. I thought that he would simply answer my question – not begin to panic over an answer. It was obvious that he didn't know what to say to me.

Reaching him, I stretched out my hand and slipped it quickly into his. _Don't hide your thoughts from me. Please, _I begged.

_It's – I'm not trying to. I just…_ He was struggling to find the words. I could sense it in his head, even without hearing words from him. And then, after he couldn't find something to tell me directly, I caught another thought._ She's going to find out. _He yanked his hand out of mine, holding my wrists so I couldn't touch him and speak – or hear what he was thinking.

He was confusing me so much. I had no idea what was going on in his head, and I didn't know what to do. I simply stood there, staring up at his face without comprehension. I couldn't read what was hiding in his eyes – there was some kind of hesitation and underlying…fear?

The butterflies in my stomach were suddenly much more intense. A part of me – the one that was always hyper-aware of Edward – combined with the twisting in my stomach to create a flurry of motion that had my breath growing steadily shallower.

That super-aware sense of mine began cataloguing all those little things about Edward, all over again. I was suddenly staring, up close and personal with that white-marble living statue I had been unable to look away from since the day I had met him.

And suddenly, I was leaning in, leaning closer towards him. I could smell that sweet venom scent that drew me in, even though I was not prey. His topaz eyes were almost glowing as he stared down at me, an unidentifiable expression on his face. My hands, still clasped in his wrists, were unable to move from his strong grip.

Here was the man of my dreams – if I had any dreams, that is – and he was so close to me. He was looking at me in just the right way, so that I could imagine that he actually did feel the same thing for me that I felt for him. Impulse seized me. Or maybe it was Jasper, able to feel what I felt and pushing me to act on a wild desire.

Whatever the case was, I unconsciously tensed my lips and relaxed them, only aware of it when his gaze was drawn down quickly. Then he flicked his eyes back up to mine. And the lack of disgust, the absence of anything remotely similar to discomfort, was what unstuck my bare feet from the floor.

Slowly, I leaned forward, rising on the balls of my feet – trying to get closer, trying to press myself closer to him. The butterflies in my stomach rose in their tempo, wings beating frantically as they tried to escape.

And he didn't push me away. He didn't back away from my obvious advance. Instead, he was frozen in place, unable to move. But his eyes betrayed no uncertainty – or anything other than want. The same want that I could feel…

Exhilarated, I broke one of my hands free from his grip, slipping it up around his neck. He didn't stop me. And he didn't stop me when I pulled his lips down to mine, pressing our mouths together gently.

For one heart-stopping moment, I thought that he wasn't going to return the kiss. My fear almost made me break away, release him and run off, horrified.

And then I found his other hand had released my wrist, and he was cupping my face between his palms tenderly. His lips moved gently and determinedly against mine, and I definitely didn't need to be a mind reader to know that he was just as eager in this kiss as I was. The butterflies were replaced with a fire that made me feel almost warm.

I could have kissed him for forever, but eventually he broke away from me. Lacing our fingers together, palm-to-palm, his mind finally whispered to mine. _I wasn't sure,_ Edward thought first. Then, more directly, he aimed towards me a different thought. _Is this okay?_

I laughed, not making a sound. _This is more than okay,_ I told him, wrapping my other hand around his waist. His free arm drifted around my back, holding me to him in a gently hug. _This is so much better than 'okay'._ He leaned down and kissed me again, a short one this time. Then he glanced behind me.

_Merry Christmas, Bella,_ he murmured. I caught a glimpse of the clock in his thoughts. It was one minute past midnight.

_Merry Christmas, Edward._ I replied, turning back towards him. Then I added, _I love my present. _He smiled, not needing any explanation.

Edward just leaned down to capture my lips in another kiss.


	15. Discoveries

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N – Thanks go out to everyone who reviewed – you know I love you all! :) **_

_**I'm currently trying my damn hardest to get "Sunrise" done by the end of this summer. Therefore…uh, you're all going to hate me…it's become my top priority. Yeah. Sorry! But hopefully I'll get it done soon. Anyway, I won't be doing very much on this story until…eh, August or so. I think. **_

_**Now, I also hate my computer for doing this to you guys, but: I actually finished this chapter way back in a few weeks ago. And then…it got deleted. So I rewrote it, and this chapter is actually completely different from the first version that is flat-out lost. But I like this one better. So…yeah. I stopped yelling at my computer because maybe it was fate, for me to write this one and make it much better (in my opinion) than the original. **_

_**Enjoy! **_

* * *

"…_I'm drunk I suppose…_

…_A kiss and I will surrender…_

…_Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen – Discoveries**

* * *

Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

When I broke away from Edward, I didn't leave his close embrace. Instead, I rested my head on his shoulder and gazed out at the dark and starry night sky. He followed my gaze; I could see his reflection in the window beside mine.

I'd let go of his hand, although our arms stayed wrapped around one another. For several long minutes there was utter silence. I was lost in the deep, strong emotions that had engulfed me since the moment of our first kiss. Those feelings had only increased the longer we stayed like this, so close to each other that I could feel every breath he took.

The complete impossibility of this situation had barely begun to fade from my consciousness before Edward stiffened.

I knew that he had heard something that I hadn't – for obvious reasons – and lifted my head from his shoulder, wanting to see his face. I wanted to ask what had happened. I frowned, confused, when I saw only the expression of dawning astonishment and disbelief.

I took his hand in mine quickly, confused by the emotions I could see on his face. _What is it? _

His golden eyes flickered to mine immediately. He shook his head unconsciously as he answered, eyes slightly distant as he listened. _Alice. She already knew this was going to happen. She saw it, or the possibility of it, the day we met you. _And, not directed to me: _I knew that she saw more than she let on that day. _

And now that I listened, I could hear Alice's amusement from somewhere upstairs. She had known that this was coming, all right: she just wasn't positive of when. Somehow, two members of our family – Alice and Jasper – had seen the possibility of _us_ long before we realized that there could be and "us".

I grimaced as I heard Esme – in Carlisle's study – ask Alice why she was laughing so loudly, and my sister replied that she should go downstairs. We should have known that this would become common knowledge fairly quickly.

The realization brought another troublesome thought to mind. I looked up at Edward, frowning slightly as I asked him. _What are we going to tell them? I can't think of how to start that conversation, can you? _

_It would be tricky, to bring it up out of the blue like that. But I can think of a better way than telling them. _Edward's eyes sparkled mischievously, and I could tell that he was trying not to think of this other solution.

I raised an eyebrow at him. _Well, whatever it is, tell me fast. I can hear Esme near the top of the stairs. _Through his mind, I could: that meant he knew, as well.

_It's really quite simple, if you think about it,_ he told me with a smug grin on his face. _Don't slap me if you're startled, please._ His hand unwound from mine, plummeting me into silence. And I wasn't even given an opportunity to ask what he meant by that before his lips had descended on mine once more.

It was then that I understood what he was talking about. After all, why bother with words when we could just _show_ our family? So much simpler – and much more enjoyable: I much preferred this method of revelation.

I smiled against his lips, breaking our kiss. He smiled, too, and his hands came up to up my face between his palms as he kissed me again. Tingles zipped down my spine, and my hands clenched on his shoulders, holding myself steady against his tall, lean frame. My knees felt weak and my head would have been spinning if I were human: I hadn't breathed in several minutes.

Eventually, the kisses slowed to a stop, and his forehead pressed against mine. My heavy breaths mingled with his, and we stared into each other's eyes. Slowly twining his fingers with mine, his voice came into my head with the feeling of a whisper. _Well, now I wish that I had listened to Jasper several weeks ago. _

_You too? _I asked, smiling. I knew that he had talked to Edward, too, but it hadn't really clicked in my head. _I wish that I had, too._

_Yes. You'd think that we would have taken his word for it – after all, he could tell exactly what we felt. _His smile grew wider.

I had a question for him, one that I felt incredibly shy asking. However, I felt like I had to. _What are we, now? Is there a name for this? _

_It's true that "girlfriend" cannot possibly describe how I feel about you. It's the best word I have, even though it doesn't do justice to my love for you. _He smirked when I squirmed with embarrassment. _What? I'm telling you the truth. _

_I know you are. It's still just so strange, to hear that from you. I feel exactly the same way, but – oh, you're a romantic, that's what it is. Do you know I've read words like those in novels, and it sounds infinitely better coming from you? _I smiled shyly.

_I should hope is sounds better from me,_ he teased, running one hand through my hair. Lifting his chin, he placed a light kiss to my forehead. _You know, I used to think I was happy by myself. And now, I can't imagine my life without you anymore. _

_I can't, either, _I answered. _The thought of being away from you is terrible._ It was, in fact, a nightmare. _But there's a difference between us, you know. I always knew that I was never whole. I always knew I wasn't content with my life. _

_Well, that's more expected from you. _I raised my eyebrow at him, and he added, _I always had my family, and it was easier to think I was content. But you were completely alone. You see? It was easier for you to accept the need for companionship than it was for me. I thought I already had enough with my family. _

_Either way, I'm glad we found each other. _

_Me, too. _

_Are they talking? _The foreign thought startled me. I had been concentrating solely on Edward's and my conversation, not bothering to listen to anything else around me. Now, I recognized Emmett's thought, and the presence of several vampires of the stairs, leaning over to watch us.

_Should we give them something more to talk about?_ Edward asked slyly, a smirk replacing his former, gentler expression.

_You just want an excuse for another kiss, _I teased. That was okay: I wanted one, too. Slipping my hand out of his grasp, I slung both of my arms around his neck and pulled him down towards me. He chuckled against my eager mouth, and I backed away for long enough to send him a questioning glare.

He reached behind his head and grabbed my hand. _Voyeurism seems to be on their agenda today, if we keep this up much longer. _

My eyes widened in surprise as he ducked his head to give me a swift, chaste peck on the lips. But I was more startled about the fact that our family was still watching instead of going away. The moment Edward's head lifted from mine, I turned and glanced toward the stairs.

Six pairs of bashful but interested eyes were peering back at me. Mortified, I swiftly spun away, my hands flying up to my mouth.

I could feel Edward's laughter vibrate through his chest as he wrapped his arms around my waist, preventing me from running away in panic. He slipped his hand into mine. _We knew they were there, Bella. _

_But I didn't realize they were actually going to stand there and watch us! It's so embarrassing!_ I had expected them to spot us, yes. I knew that they would find out sooner or later. But I hadn't thought that our family would stand there and ogle the two of us.

_They're just happy for us. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Bella._ I knew he was smirking again when he added, _I can't count the number of times we've all walked in on any one of them caught in much more compromising positions. Don't worry so much. _

_I can't help it. I'm a very private person._ But I turned around, believing what he told me because it was true.

_Then we'll just be more careful next time,_ he said.

I liked the sound of "next time" very much, and I allowed that to sink into my thoughts as we turned together. The family was trooping down the stairs, and I could vaguely hear Alice's voice – through Edward's mind – exclaiming that it was time to open presents. But I was still caught on that wonderful promise of "next time".

* * *

True to his word, there was indeed another kiss. And another, and another…

Our time spent together didn't really differ from the countless other times we enjoyed each other's company. We still talked about anything and everything, with that ease between us that had always existed. It was too easy to say anything I wanted to him, without fear of judgment or reservation.

Of course, now that I was no longer keeping my feelings for him secret, it was so much easier to lose myself in a discussion with him. We asked each other questions, gave each other answers, and otherwise found ways to tell each other any insignificant detail about ourselves that were somehow vitally important to our continued happiness.

The only difference between now and then was that our talks would frequently end with a kiss, whenever we parted to spend time with others or on our own. I found myself wanting to be with him almost all the time, but stopped myself from letting that urge and instinct take over the other things I found enjoyable.

He, too, would force himself not to spend every single solitary moment with me. We did have to have time away from one another, after all. It was only healthy. He found solace in his piano and his brothers, whereas I would retreat to books and my sisters. We had lives outside one another – and yet, oh so closely entwined.

After our first kiss – a Christmas kiss, at that – I found my sisters more on the gossipy side about their own personal lives. Before, we had skirted around topics. Now, I found myself involved in discussions with them that would have made me blush in embarrassment otherwise. I always destroyed our note pages after we were done "talking": it was easier to write it out than those particular things to one another.

I didn't know what Edward talked about with his brothers, but sometimes I felt embarrassed at the thought that it was similar to what my sisters and I discussed. However, we were all more than adult enough, even if Edward and I had the physical appearance of teenagers. And so, I tried not to let it bother me. It was adult conversation, yes, but I was an adult. And eventually, I got over it.

When the holiday break ended, I had been worried about our relationship at school. Would we present ourselves the same as ever, or would we let our classmates see that we were now a couple? I decided not to ask him about it, because I had come to the conclusion that it didn't really matter to me. I knew we loved one another, and it shouldn't matter whether those human girls knew it or not.

But Edward was more in tune with my concerns than I realized. I hadn't thought I had given him even the slightest hint of my perverse desire to get back at the girls who had made fun of me by proving that I wasn't a freak. I didn't have a plan for proving myself, of course, but I had the deep desire to do so. And Edward took matters into his own hands.

I didn't realize until second period that our behavior – which I had become accustomed to over the break – was not the same as it had been before we went off track. His arm stayed slung around me, holding my body safely in his grasp, and he kept holding my hand even when he didn't want to talk.

I didn't mind. I had my own little habits, like curling my fingers around his wrist when I didn't want to hear anything. And I always made sure that some part of us was touching: our shoulders brushing each other as we wrote in notebooks, or my knee firmly pressing against his under the desk. He didn't mind those habits.

By the end of second period, I realized that he was doing it for me. He was doing it to give me that unnoticeable boost in my self-esteem. It only hit me after the two girls from the locker room passed us in the hall – and I didn't even glance at them. I didn't notice until they were gone that they had even been there.

It didn't bother me anymore. I was shocked at the revelation. Their presence, what they thought of me…it didn't matter to me. I felt happy, content and whole. I felt complete with Edward. I felt unafraid with him. I wasn't afraid of their thoughts and their words, which I had been before. They no longer mattered to me.

Edward's comfort around me was just another boost towards realizing this. He knew me better than I knew myself: he knew that by showing the world he wanted me, that it would give me a confidence I didn't even know I could have. It made me stronger.

Love was a funny little thing. And I smiled the rest of the day, unable – unwilling – to let it falter.

* * *

After two weeks of school passed, and Edward took me to a meadow that he had discovered before I arrived in Forks. It was a sunny day, and we were basking in the warming rays of light, involved in another one of our conversations.

_I wanted to show you this place sooner, but I wasn't sure how you would like it._ His eyes were closed, his perfect, angular face glittering in the glow of the sun.

My eyes were open and I was just looking at him. _I like it. I'm glad that you showed it to me. Why would you be unsure?_

_I remembered one of those memories you had of disliking the sun on your skin. It had scared you. _

I raised an eyebrow. That was something I didn't remember telling him about. _When was that? I don't remember telling you that specific memory. _

His eyes lazily drifted open, catching me with a dazzling, dazed look. _It was back before you got better at concentrating your thoughts to me. We both have, did you notice? _He sighed, the sound strange compared to the sound of his voice in my head. I was much more used to our mental conversations than any of the out-loud words or sounds that occasionally popped up.

And I remembered what he was talking about. _Yes, I did. It's such a change from those first times we spoke._ My stomach twisted as I recalled what had happened when we met for the first time._ I remember how much I hurt you, the first time we touched._

He was quick to soothe me. _It was fine, Bella. You didn't exactly know. I wasn't the only one it hurt._ Then he raised an eyebrow and his eyes drifted back closed_. Actually, I think that's the only time I've ever heard your voice. _

_What do you mean? We talk all the time. _I smiled. I really enjoyed being able to have long conversations with him.

_No, I meant out loud. Verbally. _Edward tried to clarify himself.

I had been lying right beside him in the grass. Now I propped myself up on the hand not holding his, staring down at him. He had tried to make himself clearer, but I still didn't understand._ Edward, I've never spoken out loud. _

His eyes slowly opened, confusion reigning in them. _You made a sound that day. It hurt you, too, when you first heard my thoughts. We pulled away from one another, and you cried out. _

A chill ran down my spine despite the brilliant sunshine in the meadow. My eyes grew wide as I stared at him. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. _I did? No, I didn't – I couldn't have. I've never spoken; I've never made a sound. I can't. _

Edward pushed his elbow underneath his body, holding himself up. The hand wrapped up in mine tightened. _You did. You didn't know? _

_I made a noise? An actual something, out loud? _

_Yes. _He paused for a long moment, putting the pieces of this new puzzle together._ Bella, did you think you were mute and deaf? _

_I thought that I was. I've never been able to make any kind of noise. But I'd never been hurt before, either, and ever since I got here, I haven't been hurt again. Maybe, if I did get hurt…_ Now there was an idea that he didn't like.

His eyes darkened to an onyx color, flashing dangerously. _I'm not going to let you hurt yourself just to see if you can make a single sound. _He was deadly serious.

I backtracked, realizing how foolish the idea was. _Well, all right. All right,_ I repeated when he didn't back down. Then he did, sinking back slightly and staring at me, concern evident in his eyes. He was such a sweet man. He did so much for me – and then I had an idea._ Edward?_

_Yes?_

_Do you think you could teach me to talk?_ I quickly began to explain myself._ If I can make small noises, maybe I can talk. I've never tried. I never knew what I would sound like, because I couldn't hear. But maybe…_

He finished the thought, catching on quickly. _With our connection, you could hear yourself. I can try. I don't know what, exactly, I can do. But I can try to help._ He sat up completely, leaning towards me eagerly. He was anxious to help. My heart swelled with love for him.

At the same time, I couldn't help thinking that this was an odd duty for a boyfriend to perform. Teaching his girlfriend how to talk? I shook it off and focused. _Okay. Well, first – you say something. Let me see what you do to talk. I don't know how to control my mouth or anything like that. _

My fingers traced his throat as he murmured, "Like this?" I watched his lips move, and I felt the vibrations through my fingertips. Then, placing my own fingers to my throat, I let my eyes fall closed and tried to figure out how to do what he had done.

_I'll try,_ I told him before concentrating. I tried a number of things – I laughed a little, but the sound was still nonexistent. I tried over and over to make a sound, until Edward placed a gentle hand to my lips. _I can't do it,_ I admitted in defeat, my eyes falling open.

His eyes were gentle and sparkled with an idea. _How about 's'? That's easiest. It doesn't make a vibration. _A hissing noise escaped from his lips. I reached forward, placing a hand on his throat – no, no vibration. My fingers traced his lips, feeling the air rush out onto the tips of my fingers.

I pulled back. Then, concentrating on copying him, I placed my teeth together the way I had seen his. It took several tries, but suddenly there were two strange hissing sounds in the meadow.

I stopped almost immediately. _I did it! I did it!_

He laughed. _Yes, you did! _

And that was how our speaking lessons began.


	16. Ascent

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N – There's really nothing more for me to say besides: sorry it's taken so long, I'm sure you'll enjoy this next chapter, and thank you each and every one for reading and reviewing! I write this for you, because you want to read it! :) **_

_**Note that the song has changed again! These lyrics are significant with not only this chapter, but with the rest of the story! **_

_**Enjoy the chapter! **_

* * *

"…_We descend so easily_

_And give it up for short-term memory_

_Fight your nature, if you can _

_And hope for heaven, where we land…"_

**_"All The Arms Around You" by Halloween, Alaska_**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen – Ascent**

* * *

Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

The speaking lessons continued throughout the month of January, and on into February. The first month was spent slowly adapting me to the use of my vocal chords. I was starting at the very beginning, with extremely easy, short words despite my vocabulary being much bigger after my first semester of school.

It was a challenge to learn how to talk, and it took a long time for me to be able to pronounce basic sounds correctly. Yet, I mastered it, with Edward's patient and helpful instruction. Halfway through February, I was improving beyond small, simple words and my vocabulary was slowly becoming vocalized. By the time March came, I was learning short sentences; by April, I was vocalizing longer ones.

It became our secret, together in the forests after we were done hunting. Whenever we were alone – really, truly alone, not just locked in our heads and able to speak with each other there – Edward would immediately begin instructing me on the use of my voice. Alice knew about it, too, but she kept quiet out of respect for me.

I was too shy to let the rest of our family know about our progress. And even though Alice knew about it, through her visions, it was still something secret and almost intimate between Edward and I. I'd let them knew when I was ready for them to know, but that wasn't going to be until I could talk normally, instead of with the halting, panting speech that I'd just barely managed to soften.

_You're doing very well,_ Edward told me more than once. _You're progressing quickly. You've made it so far in such a short time. You don't need to be embarrassed about not being up to the same standards as the rest of us. We've had a lot more practice than you. _

He picked up my unspoken fear from my head, and I hadn't said a word about it. He knew me that well. We knew each other that well. But I was still embarrassed about my mediocre skills, and Edward was too willing to give me what I wanted to try and push the point.

As I gradually got better, I began to spend little breaks away from the lessons and started focusing more on the Cullen family. I wanted to be close to them, to really and truly feel like a part of their coven. Edward understood how I felt the need to belong, and gave me ample opportunities to diminish the distance between myself and everyone else.

I joined Rosalie – and Edward – with their cars, watching and learning about the things that they did to the insides of the vehicles to make them run smoother or faster. I watched TV with Emmett and Jasper, learning about human sports and other games. I went shopping with Alice and Esme, and enjoyed myself even though they had very different shopping lists: Alice was obsessed with clothing, and Esme hunted for knick-knacks and other home décor. I even joined Carlisle in his study to learn his story, which was captured in paintings.

And I began to feel more drawn into the family. I felt like a true Cullen now, like a lost vampire who finally had a home. But there was still mystery to my presence.

I still couldn't remember much about my life before I woke up in a cave, in a forest. I couldn't even remember where it was: I hadn't paid attention to the temperature or the weather. I'd been too distracted by the gnawing thirst, and by my own fear.

Sometimes, I would get flashbacks like I had that day with the wolf-girl in her kitchen, and like when I'd first woken in the cave, and when the wolf leader and Edward had reached for me that first time, when I was crumpled on the floor and terrified…

There was a mirror that Esme had bought for me, thinking that I might like it. As my eyes had slowly changed from reddish-gold to full gold, I'd become more fascinated by their color, until I got used to seeing my eyes with the Cullen gold.

The first time I'd looked into the golden, gilt-edged mirror, I'd had another flashback – the hand on my shoulder, and my silent scream of horror, my mouth stretched wide in fear. But that time, I'd noticed that in my head, the mirror was silver, a different filigree pattern circling the oval of reflective glass. And my clothes…it had been my gown, the gown that I was wearing through all those years as I wandered, lost.

My story was just as much a mystery as Alice's. Hers was completely black, but I was given tantalizing clues with no follow-up, no resolution. It was almost as maddening as having nothing at all. Alice and I bonded over the shared mystery of our pasts, but it was an understood, silent bond. We were simply close and supportive, no words about why passing between us. We felt less alone, knowing that there was someone else who also knew very little about her own past.

I would have been a close friend with her even without our common loss. She was a sweet girl, just like Rosalie could be. They were my sisters, and Emmett and Jasper were my big brothers. I had my parents in Carlisle and Esme, and of course, Edward was simply _mine_.

* * *

One day in late April, I found myself lost in the shuffle of excitable vampires traipsing up and down the stairs. I'd taken a seat on the fifth one from the bottom, reclining against the wall with a book in hand because I was enjoying the sensation of piano vibrations from my particular location. Edward played on as I looked up from my book, annoyed by the fifth person passing me in less than ten minutes.

Granted, I had been sitting in a less than optimum location if it was solitude I was searching for. The stairs were "public property" – for the use of everyone in the family. If I wanted privacy, I could read in my room, or Jasper's library if I wanted the quiet, studious vampire's company.

Standing up, I headed over to where Edward played on, seeming as oblivious to his surroundings as I was ignorant of them. I reached out, placing my hand gently on the side of his neck. I'd discovered a few months ago that any skin-hand contact activated my ability when it came to Edward. _What is everyone so excited about?_ I asked quickly.

His fingers slowed on the keys, the rhythm changing and becoming a slower song. A memorized one, which he could play without consciously thinking about it. This freed him up to answer my question. _There's going to be a storm this evening. We usually go out and play baseball when there is. _

_How do you play baseball? _I wondered. _You played that in PE – how could we enjoy that, even if we aren't bound by the presence of humans? _

_You'll see. _He smiled mischievously, allowing the tune to drift to a close and reaching up to his neck. In one smooth movement that didn't even halt the flow of sound into my head, he removed my hand from his neck and captured it in his hand. _We should go get ready. Alice wants to leave soon. She'd have pulled you off the stairs eventually, but I have a feeling you'll want to dress yourself rather than let her do it for you. _

I scowled at the idea of becoming Alice's life-size doll again. _Knowing her –_

_Yes, knowing her, you would go to the game wearing a sundress and sandals, because 'the weather wouldn't affect you, anyway" and "you'd look so pretty". _He mocked her, pulling me to the stairs.

I smiled slyly as he began to lead me up. _Does that mean I don't look pretty any other time? _He stared at me, blinking in confusion and unable to form a coherent thought. I teased him further, nudging his ribs with my elbow. _You were mocking Alice, but did you even think of the words? _

He understood immediately. Shock and chagrin flashed over his face before understanding flickered in his eyes. A wicked grin spread over his face, and I paused, wary of the look in his eyes. Before I could hear his intentions, he slipped his hand from mine and wrapped his long, pale fingers around my wrist.

My long, white sleeves kept his skin from touching mine, but that wouldn't have mattered: my hands had to be touching his skin. I could touch any part of him and hear his mind, though… When my other arm came up, it landed right in the grasp of his free hand.

He held that arm over my head, using it to guide me. I stumbled backwards up the stairs, with him pacing predatorily after me. I fought with a grin, trying to appear innocently naïve as to his intentions. I didn't have to hear his mind to know what he was thinking.

We made it to the landing before he stopped, whipping me around and holding my back securely against his chest. He moved fast, then, pushing me with his body down the hall and up the second flight of stairs. My wrists remained locked in his cool grip the entire time. Finally, he stopped outside of my room – it was closer – pushed the door open, and shoved me through. He followed close behind, turning me around again so that I was facing him, and closed the door by pressing me back into it.

All this took only a few short seconds. We'd moved faster than a human would have been able to see down the hallway.

Taking both my wrists in one hand, he pinned them above my head and brushed the fingertips of his free hand against my palm. _Do you think that I don't find you pretty? _

He removed his hand before I could respond in the same style. I struggled to touch him, but it was useless – he was holding me too securely. I couldn't reach any of his skin with my hands. He eyed me closely, waiting for something – but what? I could only talk one…way…

Sighing, I opened my mouth and spoke. I tried to be soft, and tried to speak clearly. I could feel my vocal chords moving, the vibrations bouncing off Edward and back onto me. "Of course not."

He did it again. _You're so much more than pretty, Bella. Don't you think so? _

Again, I was careful and tried to be precise. It caused me to speak more slowly than normal, on the longer word. "Not particu-larly."

_You are._ This time, he didn't pull away. He simply thought about me. Overwhelmingly, wholly me. I saw images, I felt words, and I felt emotions from him. Love and lust: peace and happiness: hope and safety. He connected so many things to me…

This time, I had the chance to return the gesture. I wound my fingers with his tightly, holding his hand securely in my grasp as I turned the tide on him. _And what about you, my Edward? Don't you think you do the same for me? _I teased him gently.

_It's still so hard to believe, _he replied, his face abruptly troubled. _It feels wrong, somehow. Not what we have, but that we have it at all. I shouldn't have you – this shouldn't be possible. I'm half terrified that I'm about to wake up, and that this will all have been some long and terrible dream. _

I shook my head. I never understood how he could feel so little for himself. How could someone so great and kind, so wonderful a person, be so insecure? So down on themselves? It was a mystery to me. _We're vampires. We can't sleep. You aren't going to wake up. _

_And how nice it is to know that._ He was teasing again, pressing my back against the wall more securely. Letting the more serious subject drop, his focus was back on me again. All of me… A short, silent giggle escaped from my lips and I wound one arm around the back of his neck, pulling his mouth down to mine –

"Bella! Edward! Get ready and get down here – we'll be ready to go soon!"

Alice's voice echoed up the stairs, and I heard her through Edward's ears. He groaned, releasing my lips from his fervent grip and resting his forehead on my shoulder. _She has the most remarkable timing,_ he grumbled.

_If she wanted to leave so soon, why didn't she alert you or me earlier?_ It seemed a little bit rude to wait until everyone was almost ready to go to tell us when we were leaving. And she hadn't even told me that we were going anywhere, either. No one had.

_They expected me to tell you, or thought that someone else had already told you, _Edward explained. _And Alice is just entertaining herself. She was planning on this…_

_What? Interrupting us?_

_Yes. _I wasn't sure exactly what he was thinking of after that, but it seemed that Edward was trying to figure out a way to get back at her during the game when she was on his team.

I wished him luck with his plans and darted into my room to change for the game. The rain wouldn't bother me, so I didn't bother with a raincoat. I liked the jeans I had on already, and merely switched my long-sleeved shirt for another one of the same style. It was a very pale blue, and the material wouldn't be ruined by water if we got caught in the rain.

Edward was waiting for me outside in the hallway, his tall, lean frame swathed in light colors. His shirt was a pale green, and his jeans were a shade darker than mine. He smiled at me as I stepped out of my room, straightening up from his casual slouch against the wall. I grinned and reached forward, taking his hand and letting him lead the way down the stairs.

Downstairs, the rest of the Cullen family was slowly congregating. We waited for a few more minutes, until Rosalie was downstairs with a thin sweater clutched in her hand, before we headed out en masse to the backyard. Our trek took us across the river and through the forest at a fast pace, leading us through the trees.

It was a fun, lively run. Alice danced along beside me, pulling me along at times and signing at intervals, eager to chatter. I didn't hold Edward's hand as we ran, content to converse with Alice in this other way. I didn't want to make Edward my personal slave, which he seemed to be when I used him to speak to my family, now.

Besides, Edward's brothers distracted him. Emmett had punched his shoulder, causing a vibration that rattled off the trees. And Jasper had joined in on whatever conversation that had made Edward lunge, grinning and with bright, amused eyes, toward his much larger brother. I was more than happy to allow him some of this fun, and keep occupied with my sister.

We came to a stop at a large field. Even with the size of it, I knew that we could all make it across that wide space within milliseconds, and with extreme ease. I fell back as Alice darted forward, taking her place beside Jasper and producing a baseball from her jacket pocket. Esme was at my side almost immediately, smiling and leading me at a human pace towards the other side of the field.

I would be watching. Everyone knew, without needing to ask me, that I wouldn't find any enjoyment in being lost in a silent world while a high-energy sport played on around me. I was more than content to watch the game play out from the sidelines, and Esme joined me in the effort to make the teams equal.

Even with equal numbers on either side, the game was not calm or peaceful. My family was as rambunctious and lively as the students at PE in school were when playing one another. I could see why there were at ease here – there was no danger of being spotted. There was no danger of being seen and exposing their secrets. They could hear any humans coming, and if that wasn't enough, we had Edward, Alice – and me.

Edward could hear their minds before they reached us, provided that the human in question was not like me. Alice picked up the slack for both of us, being able to see if there was anyone deciding to head in our direction. And I had one hand on the ground the entire time, my radius stretching out to two miles in diameter around where I sat, comfortable on the ground.

My back rested against a large rock outcropping, which jutted up from the field. The large boulders appeared to have tumbled down the hillside of the large mountain, which was separated from the field by a thin line of trees that managed to completely conceal the base of the rocks. There were more rocks to either side of me, shadowed by the mountain, and before me stretched the wide field. Esme sat beside me, her fingers absently running through a section of my long hair as she called the game.

Then, without warning, Alice was frozen on the pitcher's mound. I could feel her through my fingertips immediately, the rhythms of her breathing and movement freezing in a way that I knew was her "vision state", as I'd taken to calling it.

Emmett had been racing against Edward in an attempt to reach home plate first, and everyone's eyes were fixed on their race. Only I saw Alice, sensed her, before anyone else realized what was wrong. And an instant later, Edward had spun around on his heel, completely forgetting about the game as his eyes locked on Alice. I knew that what she saw was now flowing through his mind.

Jasper was the first to move, reaching Alice and curving his body protectively over her. She stared off into the distance, over his shoulder, and he rubbed her shoulders gently to comfort her. The rest of my family sprung up immediately, and I was following along after Esme – our worried mother – before I realized that only one person was not congregating towards the center.

Edward appeared at my side, wrapping his arms around me forcefully. I was suddenly welded to his side. Looking up, I saw his nostrils flared and his eyes wild and dark. And, instantly, I was afraid. Jasper sensed whatever was in Edward – and what I felt – and his eyes flickered to us, then back to Alice. I saw his lips moving more forcefully, demanding to know what Alice saw.

I wanted to know, too, but my arms were pinned to my sides. Flexing my fingers, I curled my wrist and tugged up the hem of his shirt, touching my fingertips to his side. _What – _I shouldn't have bothered to try and ask.

Suddenly, I saw what Alice and Edward were still seeing.

_Red eyes…three strangers…flashing trees, three shapes running – open field. Eight golden-eyed vampires…a dark-haired female vampire jumping out of the way of a lunging blur…a dark-haired female screaming as two shapes crashed into one another…eight golden-eyed vampires running to a large white house – one red-eyed figure following…a dark-haired female running across an airport terminal – a field – the forest – swimming through the ocean – running on a beach with wolves – fighting in a cave…_

The jumbled mass of scenes were all at different times of the day, and I knew without asking what they were. All of these were future possibilities, possible paths for someone's fate. Whatever the subject of these visions decided would eliminate all the other scenes. But for now, a decision had yet to be made.

The only thing that Edward, Alice and I knew for certain was that these scenes all involved the Cullen clan. We were the golden-eyed vampires in the visions. But the dark-haired female's face was always blurred. And the red-eyed vampire was also genderless – too blurry to see if it was even a male or female.

Edward was speaking to me, then. _I don't like these visions. There's nothing definite. We don't even know what it is that these vampires want. _

_Is that what's happening, then? There's another coven coming our way?_ I recalled the part of the visions that involved a faceless, genderless group of three emerging from the line of the forest into the field.

_Yes._ Edward had a lot more experience with understanding Alice's visions than I did. _But the shakiness of the future…I don't understand that. I don't like it at all. Something is going to happen, but Alice can't even see what because there's a decision that's only going to be made when the coven sees us. _

_Then we just have to be careful, that's all,_ I tried to reassure him, slipping one arm out of his grasp and brushing my fingers against his face, trying to soothe him. _We can all take care of ourselves. If it makes you feel better, though, I can stick to your side the entire time they're here. _

_It would make me feel infinitely better. _He sighed, taking my hand off of his face and enclosing it in his fist. _I'm overreacting, aren't I? There's nothing to be so afraid of. The future can be shaky for many reasons. Why would anything happen?_

I agreed with him, and we both snapped back into the real world as Alice relayed what she had seen. The rest of our family took it in stride, much better than either Edward or I had. Esme was going to ask Edward what was wrong, and why he had reacted the way he did, but Edward shook his head. He would tell her later. Instead, he said, "I'll call the game now." And he and I headed back to the rock outcropping.

This time, I sat on top of the rocks. Edward sat behind me, his legs crossed and his eyes alert. Our hands stayed entwined, and I listened to the game, now. My eyes followed where his led, searching through the forest.

Our family was more curious and wary than afraid. Edward couldn't explain his reaction even to me, and all I knew was that he was mostly concerned about the strange shakiness of the visions. And, of course, the fact that they involved our family so heavily…

Five minutes passed as the game continued on. Alice had announced that the visitors would be curious about our family, and would be interested in joining the game. I knew that Carlisle had half a mind to let them, if it meant that our family could forge some new bonds of friendship with more of our kind. That was Carlisle to a fault, always wanting to see the best in everyone and wishing for peace between everyone.

And then, I heard – through Edward's senses, as always – the sounds of passage through the trees. It was a faint, rustling murmur, the sound of voices in my head and feet on the soil. I could hear every thought that Edward did, and I was taken along for the ride as he listened intently to the newcomers. Three of them – a female and two males – were coming our way. They stepped through the trees to the edge of the field.

And my entire world came to a screeching, violent halt.

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_**A/N – I know. You hate me. It's a cliffhanger. I'm very good at making people angry with me, I've noticed. :) I'll try my hardest to get the next chapter up as soon as I can – but I'm in my junior year of high school. I'm very busy. You'll have to be patient with me, all you wonderful reviewers, you. :) **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	17. Blast

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N – I am a junior in high school this year. I have a lot of work. You better be glad that I had any time to write to you at all. :) It was torture getting this out tonight, let me tell you!**_

_**Thank you to everyone who had a theory after the last chapter! I hope you'll all like the way it really turned out! :D **_

_**Also, thanks every reviewer who somewhat-creepily expressed a burning desire for the next chapter to "freaking come out already!" :) Yeah, I love all of you, reviewers! I'm very glad that this story is so loved. **_

_**Enjoy the new lyrics posted up here, beneath. Oh, and the title of this chapter: "Blast", as in "blast from the past" (get it? LOL) and as if things were falling to pieces. See? The title has a meaning… :D **_

_**Enjoy the chapter! **_

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"…_I'm the one that you loathe…_

…_So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes…_

…_Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands_

_Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo…"_

"_**The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance **_

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**Chapter Seventeen – Blast**

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Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

There were three of them. Three strangers: two men and a woman, none of whom I knew by name and sight. They were strangers. Their eyes were the blood red of human-drinking vampires. And yet – somehow, one of them sparked a painful rush of memories in my skull. I saw –

_A mirror, gilt-edged…red eyes, glittering over my shoulder…my mouth twisted in a scream…she stepped out of the shadows._

_My hand, dotted with red…frantically clawing at the cave wall…sliding backward, leaving red streaks…flipped on my back, and she stared down at me with malice in her eyes…_

_A pale white hand, flying out of nowhere…striking my cheek…fall to my knees…look up, she leans forward, arm raised to strike again…_

A flurry of movement inside my head, not making an ounce of sense either way. I would have needed time to pull myself together, if not for Edward's ability to hear thoughts.

The female. It was the female.

The redhead, the female, locked eyes with me. And I heard her. _It can't be. She was dead. I made sure of it. __Me, crumpled and lying on a cave floor…_The sight of myself was nauseating. I had been so obviously tortured – bloody streaks ran down my arms and legs, my dress was ripped and torn, and I could see that I wasn't moving.

Edward's hand tightened on mine. His grip would have pulverized my hand if I weren't a vampire.

The redhead didn't stop thinking, although she held her composure. Nothing shone out of her face except the same wariness she had carried the minute she stepped onto the field. _James won't remember her, will he? No, it can't be her. I sucked the venom out – her veins were dry! But I must have missed some. Just a drop, that's all it would take..._

The nondescript-featured male at her side looked at me as he finished scanning the rest of my family, and I saw his eyes widen in disbelief before he schooled his expression into a blank one. But Edward and I could still hear his thoughts. _No, it can't be. She was lost, in Boston. She got away. _

I saw another image of myself in his mind. But this image was somehow just as disturbing to me as the bloodied and broken on a cave floor, for the image of me was one of a young woman, laughing and smiling. I was surrounded by faceless figures, as if the creator of the memory had only been able to focus on my face. The angle of the memory, the placement of the memory-maker, suggested that he had been hidden while watching me. And I looked radiant in his memory, but undeniably human.

The male had paid attention to me when I was human. That could mean one of several things, but if it was as a meal or as a potential mate, it scared me the same way. I did not like this man thinking he had a claim of any kind on me, especially if he traveled in the company of one such as the redheaded woman.

The male's mind continued on its pattern of thought. _Another conquest lost to one of my kind. Whoever changed her must have wanted to save her from me, or wanted her for himself. I wonder if the young one changed her. _He was looking at Edward.

Edward tightened his grip on my waist. I glanced up at his face, and his expression was completely devoid of any type of emotion that could have given our inner feelings away. His expression was of polite interest, but I could feel his muscles, hard as stone. I could feel the tension in his body. And I could hear him.

_Whatever their connection, they aren't coming anywhere near her. The female did this to her, and the male thinks that he could have had her. He won't have her._

_Of course he won't, _I reassured him, attempting to ease some of his tension. _I wouldn't go anywhere near him if I had a choice. I don't trust either of them. _There was something about the two of them that made me feel uneasy.

Our eyes met, and I knew that he would never let anything happen to me.

All of this passed within seconds of the three vampires stepping into the clearing. They had walked forward as Edward and I were caught in our revelations, and were now standing before Carlisle, like a smaller pack of wild animals deferring to a larger group of their species.

Alice and Emmett stood beside Carlisle. Esme, Rosalie and Jasper were clustered slightly to the left of them. And Edward and I stayed seated on the rocks in the unspoken agreement that neither of us desired a closer proximity to the newcomers.

The lead vampire of the other coven – a dark-haired man who wasn't thinking anything of me, unlike the other two – inclined his head in greeting. "We thought we heard a game," he announced with a calm smile. "My name is Laurent. These are James" he gestured to the male "and Victoria." The female.

_Victoria. _The name was somehow… _Familiar. I think that I know her. _

_She was imagining you bleeding on the floor. _Edward's "voice" was smoldering with repressed anger. _If that had been her imagination, I would have killed her right then and there._

_You have to keep your cool. I think…_ I looked over the two of them again. _They aren't sure that I'm actually the person they know. Knew. Maybe we can convince them that I'm not. I – I don't want her to know who I am. That I'm her – the girl in her memory, I mean. _My sense of danger was ringing loudly in my head. That redhead…she was dangerous.

Edward agreed immediately. _Of course – I don't trust them either. I'd like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I agree with your assessment thoroughly: they are dangerous. _

As we were talking, Carlisle was introducing our family. "My name is Carlisle. This is my family – Emmett, Alice," he gestured to them, "Esme, Rosalie and Jasper –"

Edward interrupted. "And I'm Edward. This is Marie." _We'll explain later. He'll follow my lead for right now. _

That didn't mean the Cullen's weren't taken off guard. All of their eyes flashed to us, and quickly away. Victoria and James didn't notice, for it didn't register in their minds. My name did: they were wondering if I really was who they thought I was, now. The different name had shaken them.

Carlisle didn't bat an eyelash, but instead added with a calm, cool efficiency, "They're newer to our family."

_Ironic that you've been with him longer than the rest of them, _I giddily remarked to Edward, in a high of hope. James had mostly shaken the idea of me being the human girl he thought that I was. I hoped that it would stick. Victoria was talking herself into it…

Laurent was oblivious. "Do you have room for a few more players?"

Again, Edward cut in. "Actually," he said, faking an innocent expression to Carlisle, as if in shared regret with his father. "We were just finishing up for the day, and planning on heading out tonight. Carlisle found a newer, secluded home we could stay in for a while, further up north."

"Really?" Laurent asked, his eyes lighting up in interest. "Secluded? So that you would be less easily noticeable to your…prey?"

"Actually, so that we would have easier access to our prey," Carlisle corrected gently. I was impressed with his ability to improvise at a moment's notice, the way he was doing so now. "You see, our diet is not…the same as yours is. I'm sure you've noticed our eyes are different?"

Laurent nodded slowly, but the confusion hadn't left his face. "We'd noticed, but forgive me if I have no idea how else you could survive, if not by human blood."

Carlisle smiled. "Animals."

Laurent and Carlisle drifted into an informative session of question and answer. But I couldn't concentrate on that for one second more: I was too worried by Victoria.

Edward and I watched and listened as she debated whether or not to take the easy explanation – that I was a different person than the one she thought I was… And she was slowly, steadily, becoming more certain that I was that girl and that I remembered. But her concern wasn't that I would tell my family what she had done to me.

_James can't know. He never knew, and I won't let him know now. She died back in Boston, in 1840, just like she should have. Whether James recognizes her or not, the fact remains that if she is Isabella, then she has to die._

Edward's arm around me tightened to a crushing hold, and I knew that he was struggling with all his might not to snarl in fury. I snuggled back into his arms, squeezing his hand in comfort. _Don't worry. She can't do anything to me. She won't be able to._

_She's going to try, though_. I knew he was right. I could see it in her head. Victoria had just decided that I was going to die.

But only if she was certain that I was Isabella.

That was our ace in the hole. If she couldn't figure out whether or not I was Isabella, then she wouldn't do anything. I could see her deciding it, as we watched her. Beside Esme, I could also hear Alice crying out in her mind for Edward, wanting to warn him what we already knew Victoria was planning. _You knew it_, she accused us, _you didn't want her to know who Bella was because of it, but she knows! Or she will know! She wants her dead!_

_Not if we can stop it_, Edward answered silently, unable to reply to her out loud as he wanted to. And to me, he swore silently, _Victoria will not get you – I won't let her. I promise, Bella._

_I know. And look – Carlisle and Laurent are already saying their goodbyes. We won't see them again, all right, Edward?_ I had hoped it would end like this. That Victoria would drop it, and move on…but it wasn't to be.

She turned to me as Laurent was backing away from Carlisle with a parting nod. With a feline smile, she smiled and purred, "Marie, wasn't it? I was wondering, dear – have you ever been to Boston?" _Because I'm going to drag you back there and gut you, if you don't pass the test._

_Test?_

_I didn't catch it. I don't know_. Panic was swelling up within Edward. _No, clear enough – you have to speak. Remember, you thought you were mute?_ Of course: it was so simple. If I couldn't speak, then wouldn't Victoria know that I was Isabella? Isabella was deaf. Isabella couldn't speak. Isabella was isolated and alone in the world.

This was a lucky, lucky twist of fate. My lips parted in a small, nervous smile. I'd never tried this before, not in front of people…Only with Edward…

_You'll do fine, Bella_. And, in the back of his mind where he tried to hide it from me, I caught something else. _She has to._

My answer was simple. One word. "No." And my voice sounded like it always did, during practices with Edward. I felt like glowing, from the knowledge that I'd done it. I'd passed –

_It's her. Isabella. She's deaf, all right. She read my lips, like she always did._

No.

_She remembered how to speak. I wasn't sure if she would, after everything that I did to her before her transformation._

No…

On the outside, it seemed as if she'd simply shrugged, and turned to follow Laurent and James away from the meadow. In her mind, however, something echoed. _That torture will be nothing compared to what I'm going to do to her now. I'll find her again, if it takes the rest of my existence. How dare she…_

Oh, _no_…

They were running away from the clearing, half a mile away, before the Cullens turned to Edward and I. I barely noticed: my hand was clenched and ripping a chunk of rock from the boulder I was seated on. Edward's arms around me were tight. In both of our heads, echoes of her vow rang soundlessly.

Our thoughts were connected, almost on another level._ I can't stay here. She'll come back to pick up my scent._

_You mean "we". I'm not leaving you alone._

_Edward, your family…_

_You're my family too, Bella. They are yours, too. We won't let her get you._

_But we have to move now. We have to…_

_Yes, I know._

He didn't hesitate. Pulling me from the rock, he cast a superfluous glance over the trees where they had disappeared. "Back at the house," he told the family shortly, at a volume that they could barely hear even at close proximity. Turning in the direction of the house, he set the pace at a fast trot that allowed the family to stay together.

I felt them following behind us, but I was barely able to move my feet. I felt as if I were in shock. When I managed to stumble – stumble – Edward's impatience prompted him to grab me and sling me over his back. I gripped him tightly, holding him with a grip that would have killed a human. My back shivered as I struggled to keep my emotions in check.

Because now…now, I was realizing what had happened in the meadow. I had met someone from my past, and it turned out that she…she had changed me, hadn't she? With the intent of killing me… I had the feeling that James had some part to play in Victoria's action, but I didn't know what it was. All I knew was that I could barely grasp what I had learned, and it was tormenting me.

I was glad that I had let go of Edward's hand when he slung me across his back, because I wouldn't have been able to keep the pain I felt from reaching him. The pain was from the knowledge I'd gained about my past.

I'd never really wondered what had caused my transformation. It was just as much a mystery as my deafness, and neither one had been a question I desperately wanted to know the answer to, at any cost. Now that I knew, however, I was so wounded, for some reason. Maybe because I'd always hoped that the vampire who had changed me was molded in the same image as Carlisle.

Instead, I got someone who tortured me to death, then changed me by accident.

The house came into view, and I schooled my thoughts so that I could focus on the task at hand. The truth, as Edward and I knew it, was that I was in danger. She would come back. She'd already vowed to find me whenever, wherever – and she had an eternity to do so. That was more terrifying than anything else.

I shuddered as I jumped off of Edward's back, and allowed him to push me into the house. I took his hand as he turned to Carlisle, words spilling from his lips without consequence or thought.

"The female, Victoria, she knew Bella from when she was human. Victoria changed her. We – Bella and I, we have to leave. Now." He was already in motion.

Carlisle stopped him with a worried look and demand for an explanation. "Edward, why? If she knew Bella, then shouldn't they talk –" His eyes darted to me on talk, and he thought of the miracle of hearing my voice in the field.

I shook my head violently. Edward answered for me, his voice a low, raspy growling now that he didn't have to control it to strongly. "She tortured her, Carlisle!" His eyes burned with a feral light. "The majority of the time she stood there, she pictured Bella bleeding and dead on the ground!"

I added my "voice" in. She thought she had killed me. She debated it the entire time. She did not know if I, Marie, was Isabella. Her test, when asking me a question… I failed. _I would have failed if I hadn't answered, too,_ I realized belatedly as I took Edward's hand again. _That would have proved I was deaf. She would have known I was me, then, too._

_You're probably right…_ Edward took a ragged breath, focusing his gaze back on Carlisle. "She swore that she would come back. That she would do anything it took to kill Bella. No matter how long it took."

There was a deathly silence in the room. The tension was too high for even Jasper to calm. Then Emmett flexed his muscles, his face set and grim. "We won't let her get by. We'll stop the whole coven if we have to. Three of them, eight of us."

"She'll bide her time," Edward argued, his eyes flickering into despair. I squeezed his hand tightly. "Victoria has an…an insane, obsessive need to kill Bella. You didn't hear what she was thinking, Carlisle – we can't stay here."

"Then we can all leave tonight –"

I shook my head. I knew that wouldn't work, even though I just realized what he was suggesting. Carlisle, we cannot all uproot. She will notice. She will follow and find you all. I cannot let you take that risk. Better throw a decoy here, and hope that she will show up at the house and find that I am not here. She will not hurt you. Just me. 

"Bella, we wouldn't be in any danger," Jasper said quietly. "We are all capable of fighting. And we have the advantage of greater numbers."

"The two of you off on your own just puts you in needless danger," Carlisle attempted to persuade us. "What if James or Laurent is with her? Even just two of them together would be too much for you – Bella, do you know how to fight?"

"She won't need to," Edward answered for me. "James won't help her. Victoria doesn't want him to know about her insanity. And Laurent is part of James' coven for convenience."

I blinked. _James' coven? I thought Laurent was their leader._

"James' coven?" Carlisle echoed my surprise.

_I was listening while they left, to try and get more information out of them. You were distracted, understandably_. "It was just a show, in the meadow. Laurent was acting in James' stead, as per their plan. It was James' idea, to try and get a clearer view of possible danger without exposing himself completely."

"I see…" Carlisle seemed to be debating whether or not to argue any more.

My eyes flickered to Alice, who had been silently standing there, observing us with Esme and Rosalie. She met my eyes, worry and concern in her gaze, before interjecting softly, "If one of them leaves, I only see death."

"Death?" Esme gasped.

"Whose?" Emmett growled.

Alice didn't answer. That she met my eyes squarely was answer enough. I didn't even need to hear her thought.

_I don't want to lose my brother. And I don't want to see you become that wraith if you lose Edward. But if he leaves with you, he won't survive._

My heart felt as if it had been ripped open. I grabbed his arm as if to make sure he were still there, my fingers digging into his skin desperately. My jaw quivered as I tried not to scream out in fear of that future. I started shouting at him in my head. _You aren't leaving! You have to stay! You can't –!_

_Bella, please!_ He grasped my hands in his, cradling me closer to his body._ I won't. Alice is._

_Alice?_ I tilted my head in confusion, and then turned back to my sister. Her jaw jutted out defiantly as she proclaimed her visions. "Edward can't leave. And if they both stay, then Victoria still…still manages to get through us to Bella, somehow." Edward's eyes closed in pain and he gripped me more tightly. I allowed it, knowing well what he was feeling.

"Then what can we do?" Carlisle asked. There was a twinge of desperation in his voice – he didn't want to lose either of us.

"I can get Bella to safety," Alice announced, determination making her strong. "And you need to hunt down Victoria, because if you don't it won't just be Bella that she'll want dead."

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**A/N – It is an evil semi-cliffhanger. I know. You hate me. I know. But despite all that hate, I hope you still loved the chapter! **

**Thanks for reading!**


	18. Breaking

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga and am not Stephenie Meyer._**

**_A/N—I have several important announcements. First of all, I keep forgetting to tell you lovely ladies (and possibly gentlemen), but I made a Fanfiction "Hear No Evil" trailer for the story. :) The link to it is on my Profile page, to all of you who want to see it! :D_**

**_Second: I changed the song again. :) Yes, I know… Anyway, this one connects as follows: "I don't know what's worth fighting for/or why I have to scream/But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean" has to do with a decision Bella makes in this chapter. "I don't know how I got this way/I'll never be all right" is more of a call to Bella's missing memory about her human life, and how she doesn't think she'll ever learn who she used to be. And the title is in reference to the song. :D_**

**_And finally, I hope you enjoy this latest chapter!_**

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"…_I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream_

_But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean_

_I don't know how I got this way—I'll never be all right…"_

_**"Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park**_

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**Chapter Eighteen – Breaking**

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Forks, Washington – Isabella Marie Swan

My family was silent for a long moment.

Jasper broke it. "Where will you go?" he asked. Without asking, he knew by his wife's words that he wouldn't be coming with us.

Alice's eyes went cloudy for a minute as she searched for a vision. Edward and I could see what she did, noting a flash of forest landscape and greenery before she murmured, "New York. We need answers, and we might find some there." _Like, why does Victoria want Bella dead? _

"Because of James." Edward growled, low in his chest. I placed my free hand over his chest, trying to soothe the unbidden anger.

_James? _"What does James have to do with this?" Carlisle asked, puzzled.

Edward looked up, breaking our locked gaze. "He was more easily convinced that Bella was not the person he thought that she was—even though Victoria's convinced that Bella is. He was remembering a girl who looked almost exactly like Bella, but he was sure that she was "lost" in Boston."

"Lost how?" Esme asked quietly.

"I'm not sure." _I didn't get enough of a look at his mind to really see that. I was too focused on Victoria._ I could sense the guilt in his thoughts and hastened to reassure him.

But the dim, tense silence was broken by Jasper's narrow-eyed suspicion. "He remembered her face all these years?"

Edward broke into a low growl again. "He seemed to think he had some kind of claim on her, while she was human." _I didn't like the way he thought of you, the image that came into his mind,_ Edward told me.

_I didn't like it, either. _I physically shuddered to recall the stalker-like image, and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling my slim body to his lean chest. His calm presence was soothing to my wracked nerves, but I couldn't completely calm myself. I knew that Alice and I would have to prepare to leave very soon.

Sure enough, the tension broke into action as Alice took a step back. "Bella and I have to leave. We have half an hour before we should be heading to the airport for a plane. Emmett, there's a flight that's leaving in an hour and a half—can you—"

"Tickets. On it." My big, burly brother turned and shot up the stairs.

Alice turned to Rosalie. "She won't be coming within the next hour, so we'll be safe. After that, it's fuzzy—she hasn't made up her mind about how to ditch her coven. We'll need to borrow one of the quieter cars. Can you pull it up to the front door?"

Rosalie simply nodded. My sister's face was strained stone as she whipped around and flew out the door, headed for the garage.

Carlisle and Esme stepped in, then, and told Alice and me to go pack our bags. They would take find the paperwork—IDs, licenses and passports, just in case—from wherever it was in the house. Jasper and Edward followed the two of us without question—who knew how long we would be gone? Neither of them wanted to say goodbye… Alice and I didn't want to leave them, either.

Edward released my hand as we reached my room, going to his room to grab a plain leather bag for my belongings. I entered my room, heading to my closet and pulling out two pairs of jeans and two shirts. I quickly changed into a third pair of jeans and a plain button-up shirt. The pale blue shirt felt silky to my fingers as I threw it over my head.

I sensed Edward as he entered the room. Turning around, I took the leather bag out of his hands. My clothes were folded into the bottom of it, and he placed a small silver cell phone on top of the small pile before taking my hand. _All of our numbers are in that. You can reach me whenever you need to, Bella. _

_Thank you. _I stared at him until it hit me—who knew when I would be able to see him again? Who knew when Victoria would be taken care of, and it would be safe for Alice and me to rejoin our family? It might be a long time before I could see him again.

_Bella, don't worry._ He lifted his free hand to cradle my cheek. His topaz eyes implored me not to frown, not to be sad. _You'll be fine, and I'll be fine. You and Alice will have fun together. I'm sure that we can take care of Victoria. _

_What do you mean? _I caught a flash of a semi-formed plan in his head, and it took me a second to realize what I had heard. _Edward!_ He was going to enlist Jasper's help in tracking down Victoria, and taking care of her before she could get to me.

_I'm not going to allow her any chance to get to you and carry out her plans. I'm not going to let you stay in danger. I'm sure that Jasper will help me. Possibly even Emmett: he likes a good fight. But Jasper knows more about killing another of our kind than I do. _

I shook my head, but I was realistic. I knew that he wouldn't really listen to my pleas not to place himself in danger. He was just trying to protect me, by removing the danger before it could get to me at all. _You'll be careful? _

_Of course I will, _he sighed. He pressed his lips to mine in a chaste kiss before slinging the backpack over his own shoulder. _Come on. We've got to get downstairs. _

_Wait. _

He paused, and I took advantage of his stillness to stretch up on my tiptoes and pull him into a much more serious kiss. This was a goodbye kiss, and I put every ounce of love I could into it. I sensed that he reciprocated in the gesture, and I felt a little bit better about this entire situation at that.

We trooped downstairs, where the rest of our family was already waiting for us. It seemed that Alice wasn't allowed to carry her own backpack, either, and I knew that Jasper and Edward, at least, were going to come with us to the airport. _Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme are going to stay here,_ Edward told me in our heads, _in case Victoria comes by the house._

Esme gave Alice a big hug, and Carlisle handed her a small folder along with a fatherly hug of farewell. She turned and tucked into the leather backpack, which Jasper held out for her. I received the same treatment and folder, and then we were ready to go.

"We'll be back within the hour," Edward told Carlisle. I wondered for a moment if Carlisle knew of Edward's plan, but I heard the words in Carlisle's own mind. He guessed what Edward would want to do when he came back, and he was saddened that we—Edward and I—felt the need for it. He guessed that I knew Edward's plan, too, and he was right: I felt that it was necessary, like Edward did.

Emmett gave me a bear hug while Rosalie threw her arms around Alice. Then my sister threw her arms around me, and I saw that Emmett was literally lifting Alice off the ground. Finally, we were ready to leave the house, and we darted out to the car that was waiting in front of the house. Edward was driving. I sat beside him in the passenger's seat, our hands entwined over the gearshift.

We didn't really talk to each other, not the way we always did. It was enough to hear his mind, for him to hear mind. I could hear everything, and to be honest I was somewhat dreading the upcoming period of utter silence that I would be enveloped in once I left Edward behind. I didn't want to leave him, and a selfish part of me didn't want to give up my ability to hear through him, either.

He assured me that it wasn't selfishness, and that he didn't hold it against me, but I always felt guilty about it anyway. His fingers rubbed gentle circles in my skin as he drove, trying to soothe my fretful thoughts. But he could soothe me with just his presence…

The airport was only twenty minutes away at the speed Edward was driving, and before I knew it we were wandering through the terminal to where our plane was to depart. Edward and I let go of our grip on each other on my request, so that I could begin to become familiar with the oddly ringing silence in my head again.

I didn't like that quietness. I didn't like being closed off from everything around me. It was like relearning how to be deaf again, and all I wanted was to have Edward's voice in my head again. As I wandered around the terminal, I read the signs and watched the humans milling around me. It wasn't too difficult to keep a tight leash on my thirst, which was a good thing, but it didn't make me feel better at all.

Alice and Jasper headed over to the place our plane would be taking off from, and Edward and I followed after them. His arm was steady around my waist, but I could feel the minute tremors of his shoulders as we walked. He was tense and on edge, scanning the airport for danger like Victoria was going to jump out of a suitcase or something.

I made him set my backpack on the seat beside Alice's, and took his hands in mine. _Edward, you've got to calm down. Everything's fine. We'll be on our way soon, and before you know it I'll be back with you again._

He smiled, a weary sort of grin that held trace amounts of tension. _I know, Bella. But I can't help being a little paranoid, can I? I could have sworn I'd heard her almost a million times by now, but every time I think it's her, it's just some random human who's thoughts coincidentally match up with what I'm expecting. _

I was tense at that report, but I knew that I couldn't encourage his worries—or mine. _Should I be worried about homicidal humans? _

_Definitely not—they can't hurt you anyway, and if they even tried…_ A rather violent image accompanied that thought, and I gently slapped his shoulder in reprimand. _Sorry, love. But that's how I feel sometimes, when I hear others thinking about you in a way I don't like._

I recalled vividly one time we were out shopping, and I heard—through Edward—a rather lewd man watching me from behind. _I know that. It doesn't mean I have to let you get away with thinking it. I can take care of myself, Edward. _

_But you don't have to be alone to do it,_ he replied quietly. He took my face in his hands and kissed me, then, distracting me from our words. I released his hand to swing my arms around his neck, nudging his body closer to mine. He allowed it, pulling my body into his arms and holding me close to him.

We kissed for a long while, before I sighed and pulled away. His hand had tugged my hair loose from its ponytail, and now that I noticed my free-floating hair, I realized it probably wasn't the best idea to keep my hair so loose. Even in a ponytail, it was too loose for my taste. Rosalie had introduced me to the art of braiding my hair, something that Alice preferred not to touch my hair to do. She complained about the ridiculous length of my hair, how it made real braiding too hard. Rosalie and I always rolled our eyes at her silliness…

_The bathrooms are over there,_ Edward told me, his fingers running over my palm lightly. _Don't take too long? _There was a wistful pleading in his voice: he didn't want to be apart from me for too long.

_I won't,_ I promised him.

Alice nodded to me as I went, her eyes unfocused. I wondered absently what she was watching unfold in the future, as I disappeared into the bathroom.

The bathroom wasn't crowded, but still filled with the scent trails of millions of women. They were faint, overlapping each other into submission. A blond mother was helping her daughter wash her hands at the sink, and the six-year-old girl made no secret of her wide-eyed staring. A brunette pre-teen hit the small coin-machine on the far wall, frustrated to tears with the irritating machinery. An older woman gently touched her shoulder and passed her something, and the girl looked up with a grateful smile.

I smiled to myself, stopping in front of the mirror and running my fingers through my hair. All I had to do in here was twist my hair into a serviceable braid for the long trip, and possibly even longer hiding-away period. I would have enough worrying to do without fretting about my hair being all over the place.

It felt like a silly, common thing to worry about, in the midst of everything else that was much more serious. It had to be some kind of female thing—what man would ever think about his hair, of all things, when there was a possibly psychopathic redhead on their trail, intent on killing them?

Rolling my eyes to myself, I lifted my hands to the top of my head and began twining the long strands of my waist-length hair into a plain braid. What style did Rosalie call this? French? And maybe…maybe it was just the act of doing something, but I felt a tiny bit calmer, more in control, as I twined my hair into place. Maybe that was what I wanted.

Through the tiles, I felt the vibrations of one of the toilets flushing—I'd become accustomed to feeling that sound at school, where one of my classrooms was right next door to a bathroom. The door opened.

My hands froze, twisted into my hair. No.

Her scent wasn't here, leading into the room—my eyes flashed to the second door on the other side of the wall. Janitor's closet—would she really have hidden in the supplies? What else could have masked her scent but the vile detergents and acids used to clean this place? Not to mention the overlapping, ridiculously numerous scents of millions of women that trailed through this room…it was distracting to me. Alice might have sensed her, but I certainly had no chance of doing so.

But how had she known I would come here? Or had she just been hiding out here, and I'd done that part all on my own? I had made it easier for her to get to me. She must have been following us, must have decided that she would follow our plane, but I just waltzed into her hiding spot with nothing more than vanity on my mind. How stupid, stupid and foolish!

Victoria raised a finger to her lips, for my silence.

I could say something. Edward, Alice or Jasper might be able to hear me. A plea, a high-pitched scream—something the humans in here wouldn't hear…

Her lips parted in a wide smile, and her eyes flickered to the side. She licked her lips. I followed her gaze to the little girl, who was throwing away a paper towel with a beam. Her mother smiled at her. My eyes flew back to her, and she met my gaze before doing the same to the older woman, and to the new blond who'd come in and gone toward a stall. It took me a minute to understand.

She was threatening their lives, in those gestures. She was threatening to kill them if I wasn't silent, if I didn't cooperate. My jaw trembled, but I clenched my teeth together and deliberately began weaving my hair into a braid again. No, I wouldn't speak. But I glared at her, with an angry film of tears in my eyes—tears of anger and sorrow.

Anger, for she threatened to kill people neither of us knew just to get to me: sorrow, because Edward was right on the other side of that door and knew not what was happening here. She grinned in triumph as she sidled up next to me.

From her pocket, she produced a small notebook and from the knot in her hair, a pen. Her hand moved swiftly over the page, and she placed it on the sink between us.

**Say nothing. Nod or shake your head. **

**When you leave this room, head over to the trashcan beside the Burger King. Stand between it and the wall. The security cameras will become disabled in two minutes, and an alarm will go off in one of the nearby stores. When you see it, run into the employee entrance and follow my scent trail to the end. You'll be at a plane, and you're to get on that plane and take it into the air by stashing yourself in the luggage hold. **

**Do you understand? **

I gritted my teeth together defiantly and shook my head. No, I would not. No, she would have to kill me here and now, if she wanted me dead. As if reading my mind, her lip curled back over her teeth. But not in a snarl—in a grin: she took the pen, flipped the page, and scribbled out something else.

**Well, then I'll just have to kill your precious Edward. **

I shook my head stiffly, trying not to cry out in terror. These human women in the room with us couldn't be allowed to know what was happening. Victoria grins and scrawled more.

**Don't think I can't do it. I've been in more fights than years you've been alive. You may not know what I want, but I'll have you know that I always win. And for the safety of your family, you're coming with me. **

**If you don't get on that plane, he dies here. If you do, I'll let him—and the rest of your family—live. **

That stopped me short. First, she didn't know what we knew what she wanted. She thought I had reacted out of confusion and unwillingness, and that I was now terrified about her threats to my family. The only thing she was wrong about was my knowledge: I did know what she wanted. I was doubly afraid.

And the second thing I knew was that I had to do what she said. She was deadly serious about her threats to my family. She would kill Edward. I could see it in her eyes as she stared back at me in the mirror. She would do it.

So I nodded, slowly, accepting my quiet and deadly silent defeat.

She smiled and slipped the notepad into her pocket, before making a small hand gesture for me to lead the way out of the restroom. I turned around, letting my hands fall out of my half-finished braid. She stopped just inside the door, probably waiting for me to exit so that she could make her escape after Jasper, Alice and Edward were focused on me.

I felt completely frozen as I stepped outside of the bathroom and back into the hustle and bustle of the dead-silent terminal. Victoria was a good planner, that much I could admit. The Burger King was right next to the employee entrance to other parts of the airport. The trashcan was perfectly placed so that as few people as possible would see me once I had to run, and with an alarm going off they would be distracted.

My feet moved rhythmically as I headed to my appointed location. I would have to run fast to whatever plane Victoria wanted me on. Edward was the fastest runner in our family. He would be able to catch me if I didn't get enough of a head start.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward approaching me at a lazy pace. He wasn't moving too fast for the benefit of the security cameras, which I supposed was a good thing for our cover and for my task. But I knew it was torturing him, not to be able to move quickly, not to be able to hear what was in my head…

I reached the trashcan first, of course, and turned around. So this was Victoria's setup. She threw this direction in to hurt me. What was her sadism stemming from? Why did she feel the need, not just to kill me, but to torture me as well?

Edward's eyes were bright and full of confusion and concern as he approached me. He held out his hand—and for the first time, I refused to touch him. I folded my arms across my chest. Surely the alarm would go off soon? Two minutes had to have passed by now…

A frown creased his perfect forehead, and Edward signed to me. Bella, what is it? What is wrong? 

Nothing, I told him unconvincingly.

He snorted—I could see the inhalation and exhalation. My eyes drank in every detail about him. Then why are you over here? he asked. He made a move to go around the trashcan, which would have put him between the door and me.

He stopped moving at the terror on my face. He looked so concerned that I felt like the worst person alive. How could I do this to him? I saw Alice and Jasper standing where our bags lay, their eyes locked on us. I couldn't look at them directly, either.

And finally, finally—a bright red, pulsating light shone from one of the stores. I felt a vibration in the air, and heads swiveled to look in that direction. And—miracle of miracles—Edward's gaze darted away from me for a split second before he stopped himself from turning around.

But that was all I needed.

He hadn't been expecting me to run, which slowed his reflexes even more than his startled reaction to the alarm. My head start allowed me to get through the doors and zip past a few stray humans, too fast for them to see me.

In the hallway, I could easily trace Victoria's scent through the air. I knew exactly where she had been, and I knew which way I was going. The few seconds in the bathroom with her hadn't allowed her scent to rub off on me, but I had smelled it. She had been very close to me, after all.

I darted out of the employee areas and into another section of the airport, and in fact raced all the way outside. The trail swung around the large runway, and it lead all the way up to an empty dock. I blinked, sure that this was where the trail had led…

Yes, and the plane was there, taxiing away towards the runway. I followed at my superhuman speed, and tossed myself up into the plane through the opening where the wheels were lowered or raised.

The silence in my head was deafening now, and I collapsed to my knees a few feet from the opening. I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to hold back my silent sobs. How could I have run from Edward? From my family? It was for them, to keep them safe—but it didn't feel like that. It felt like betrayal, like I had left them behind to face her on their own.

But she had threatened them! And how did I know she would have carried through on her threat? Couldn't they fight for themselves? Why had I taken it upon myself? Because I was worried about them, because I wanted to make sure I did all I could to keep them safe…because I loved them.

I loved _him_. He'd be alive.

I didn't know how to fight, but I wouldn't let her kill me without trying. I didn't know exactly how to defend myself, but I knew enough to keep myself alive. Didn't I? Shouldn't I? Wasn't that an instinct, to keep one's self alive? I had survived all those years alone: surely I had some kind of survival instinct. Wouldn't that help me?

I knew how to fight a bear and a wolf for fun, but I always knew that I was stronger than them. I knew that they couldn't hurt me. And I knew how to kill them. I didn't know how to kill Victoria, to keep her from hurting me… And so I cried, or tried to cry: because I knew that I couldn't come back home. I wouldn't be alive to do so.

A hand landed on my shoulder. I flinched, expecting her to start tearing me apart immediately, but that didn't happen.

Arms descended around me, holding me close, and I sniffed the air experimentally as the arms didn't try to rip me apart and hurt me. The arms were holding me, comforting me…and as soon as I smelled him, I knew.

My head lifted, and I knew a garbled exclamation of astonishment escaped from my lips as I stared up at Edward's worried face. He held me tightly, as if expecting me to run again, but also to comfort me. I tried to pull away, but he grabbed my hand before I could.

_You were following a scent, and I'm almost certain I know which one. Why didn't you say something, Bella? _There was agony in his eyes, but his jaw was clenched tightly. He wanted to know where Victoria was, wanted to kill her right here and now.

_I…I…_ The memories came instead of the words, and Edward listened and watched to them. Then he was pulling me back to him. _Bella, she couldn't have killed any one of us without a fight. We shouldn't have let you go in there alone. We should have taken her out of the picture right then and there!_

_You couldn't have—secrecy, remember? You can't expose us like that, Edward, no matter how much you want to keep your family, and me, safe. I'm sorry._

_Don't apologize,_ he soothed me. _You did what you thought was right—I don't agree with you, but you still did what you thought you should have done. I'm just glad that I reached you before this plane took off. _

_Um, Edward? _I looked out the hole in the bottom of the plane. We had been moving the whole time we spoke, but now we were moving too fast—and the ground abruptly dropped away. I fell back on my bottom, feeling the drag of gravity on my stone-like body.

He grasped me tightly, looking out the hole with a scowl on his face. _Well, that complicates things. _He pulled out his phone and it rang before he could dial a single digit. "Alice."

"_You can't jump out. You'll be seen."_

"I know that," he muttered, angered. _How could we not even notice the plane taking off? I should have been paying attention. _"Where are we going?"

"_Boston."_

That name triggered a memory—Victoria, asking if I'd ever been to Boston when we were in the meadow. _I must have come from Boston,_ I realized with a start. Why hadn't I connected that before?

_Of course,_ Edward replied absently. "Of course."

"_What?" _

"Of course," he repeated. "She asked if Bella had ever been to Boston before in the meadow. That must be her plan."

"_Plan? What plan?"_

He stiffened his hold on me. "Why we're on this plane. She was in the bathroom when Bella went in." A squawk of fear emitted from the phone. "Alice, listen—she told Bella to get on this plane, or she'd come after our family. The alarm was her handiwork, and the security cameras were off when Bella ran. She wasn't seen."

Alice was quiet for a second. _"She covered her bases. And I think she has a talent—Edward, I didn't see anything. I didn't see Bella running until it was reality. Something blocked Victoria from my sight completely. I…I don't know what's going to happen in Boston anymore. I can't see either of you." _

Edward met my eyes. _We can't get off this plane._

_We'd be seen?_

_Yes, we can't fall fast enough to reach the ground before we're spotted. Radar would possibly pick us up, too. I'm just not sure. _

_We have to land in Boston…_ I bit my lip. _We can come straight back home._

_Would Victoria let us? Let you? _he asked seriously.

I shook my head. _If she put all this effort into getting me there, she won't just let me turn around and come back home. And she wanted me alone. If she doesn't know you're with me, then maybe we can use that to our advantage._

He nodded, and told Alice, "We'll just have to see what happens, then. Bella believes that Victoria won't let us go without a fight, but she also told Bella to come alone. I haven't been figured into whatever equation she's running, so we can use that element of surprise."

She was quiet for another second. _"But my other vision…Edward, please, just come home as soon as you can. Both of you: Bella doesn't know how to fight someone like Victoria, and with what I saw…before…" _

"Alice, we'll be fine." _It would probably be a better idea for us to get reinforcements, though…_ I nodded. "I'll see if we can lead her back to Forks, to you. A group effort will ensure us a victory, rather than any losses."

"_Okay. But be careful."_

"Be safe. We'll be home," he promised, tightening his grip on my hand. I mouthed the word with him, "Soon," as we stared into each other's eyes.

The phone went silent in his hand, but our eyes didn't move from each other's. Now that the surprise had disappeared, and we were accepting the situation, I recalled that one fearful detail that I hadn't wanted to consider as possible. But now, it seemed like fate had other plans for us.

Alice had seen Edward die if we went off together. Now her ability was seemingly blocked by something—most likely Victoria, Edward and I silently agreed—but she was unsure about our fate. She didn't know what would happen. I was terrified of the answer to my nagging question.

Would the vision still come to pass?

* * *

_**A/N—I know you hate me. :) If it's any consolation to you, I hate sad endings. Okay, guys? **_

_**Also, we're nearing the end of the story. *gasp. I can hardly believe it! Can you? Just wanted to give you a heads-up! **_

_**To be continued… **_


	19. Running

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N—**__It's been absolutely forever, I know. :) Sorry, guys. My bad. Thanks to every one of you who is so enthusiastically following this story—your support is what makes writing rock!_

_The information on photography and some social tidbits is from Wikipedia. As you may know, this site is not exactly accurate, so please forgive any wrong information that I disclosed. My sincere apologies for anything that I've pretty much screwed up. :)_

_Also, my information about Boston is similarly sketchy. All I wrote about the area is from the Internet, so if it is inaccurate, I apologize. I did take some liberties in creating the setting and the situation, as well as in Bella's history. There is no legend of Isabella Swan in the Blue Hills Reservation, as far as I know. All of the tales, buildings, remnants, et cetera, that are about Bella are completely made up by me, and any resemblance to anything real is completely by chance because I don't know any legends or myths from Boston, MA. :) The area of the Blue Hills Reservation is also made up, on my part, because they won't give me a layout on the website—at least, not that I could find. So, I was lazy but I put some effort into finding reality before resorting to fiction. :)_

_Enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

"…_I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream_

_But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean_

_I don't know how I got this way—I'll never be all right…"_

_**"Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park**_

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen—Running**

* * *

Boston, Massachusetts—Isabella Marie Swan

The plane ride was long and uneventful. Edward and I sat, wrapped in each other's arms and surrounded by suitcases and other checked belongings. He and I brainstormed ideas for leading Victoria back to Forks, but the problem was that we didn't know what her plans were.

Edward and I couldn't hear her above us, although we were sure that she had to be on the plane somewhere. Her mind was somehow concealed from Edward's ability. He was growing more and more frustrated the longer her mind remained hidden in the mass of human ones.

_She has to be talented, _he fumed to himself, anxiety making his tongue looser with me. _If I can't hear her, and can't know what she's planning, then trapping her or killing her will be even more difficult than I previously thought. _

_Don't worry about it now,_ I told him. I pressed myself closer to his body, allowing him to envelop me even more securely in his tight embrace. _We have to endure the plane ride, and then think of what to do when we land. _

This distracted him completely, and we silently debated the merits of several courses of action over the next hours of the ride to Boston. Eventually we decided that it would be best if we waited until the plane was at a standstill, and for the airport workers to open the doors for unloading luggage. This offered us the best chance of escaping the plane unnoticed, if we ran faster than the human eye could see.

Once we were out of our cocoon of suitcases, we would seek shelter and consider where to go from there. Edward thought that checking into a hotel would be the best bet, and finding tickets for a plane ride back home. I knew it would be no problem, considering the limitless amount of funds in the Cullen account.

But I had to admit—to myself, and therefore to Edward—that I was extremely curious about what was in Boston. _I know almost nothing about my past. And the way Victoria seems connected to it, and that she wanted me here—well, maybe I'd find out something about myself if I stayed here. Looked for it. _

Edward was realistic, although it hurt him to tell me even this subtle variation of "no". _I promise you, once Victoria is dealt with, we will come back here. I will come with you, and we can spend however many decades you want looking for answers. _

_Really? _I asked, so touched that he would offer me this.

_Of course I will. You know I'd do it the second you asked, if not for our current predicament. I'm afraid that I value your present and future over your past._

I couldn't really fault him that. I knew that he was right, after all. But my heart wouldn't listen to my head: I still wished vainly for answers that I had never known were out there. Until I met Edward, I had no connection to the present and no hope for the future. And now that I was fully aware of the world around me, I was steadily growing more curious about the past that I couldn't remember.

I was curious about that past, but also afraid of it. Victoria had killed me for some reason, however insane that reason might be—considering how much she desired me dead, Edward and I believed that she wasn't completely mentally sound. And James, for some reason, had found me intriguing as a human, so much that he remembered my face. I was scared of that, too.

I knew that I loved Edward, with all my heart. I knew it as surely as I knew that the sun rose in the east and set in the west. But I was worried—because what if James really did have some sort of claim on me? What if he really had been a friend, or an acquaintance of some kind, to me? What if that image of me had simply been the last he'd seen of me, instead of him spying on me from afar?

And then again, if he had been close to me…well, there had to be a reason I'd been instinctually afraid of the werewolf-boy's raised hand, when I'd run through the Quileute territory. There had to be a reason for my fear of Edward's raised hand, when I'd first met him. There was a reason. The question I had now was whether or not James had something to do with that.

I knew Victoria had struck me with her bare hand—I had remembered that, in the baseball clearing, as I saw her for the first time in years—but I didn't think that one beating, a beating I couldn't even remember, had been enough to engrain that kind of response in me. Edward didn't think so, either.

We were both slightly afraid of any answers that I might find in Boston, but I was still sure that I wanted to know. I wanted to solve this mystery, get it resolved and over and done with… It would be a relief, in a way, to get it out of the way. To know, to understand…

But only if we survived this…

When our plane finally landed, Edward and I were ready. He clasped my hand in his, a steady, sure grip keeping me grounded in his mind. He murmured reassurances to me as I quivered in fear. I was worried that Victoria would spot us as we ran towards the shelter of the airport. I was so afraid that we would be seen before we reached the shadows and melted away into the city.

_She would think that you wouldn't run for it, _he told me, calmly sure of himself. _Why would you? You're supposed to be alone and frightened, trapped in a strange place with no one to help you. She'd either try to scare you into doing what she wanted, or pretend to be your friend and manipulate you into doing what she wanted. Either way, she'd contact you somehow, rather than let you stay here in the plane, alone. _

_Which is why it worries me that she hasn't appeared down here yet, _I replied, squeezing his hand as we taxied towards the terminals. _Wouldn't she already be down here, trying to do…whatever? _

He frowned. _I know. I'm worried about that, too—_ He turned around, scanning the shadows. I heard her through his mind.

…_The cave, probably. I don't want to waste any more time. James will expect me back…_ She was close. Too close.

_How did she get all the way into the hold with us, and we didn't hear her? _I asked Edward, frantically following his lead as he soundlessly tugged me along with him, to the lowered wheels of the plane.

_A shield. She must have some kind of shielding ability, like yours. _Edward desperately tugged my hand, pulling my body flush against his. _We're leaving now. Jump on my back—your scent might be able to mask mine, just enough so that she'll ignore it. _I obeyed without question, and he leapt from the craft.

His legs pumped soundlessly and recklessly, carrying us over the distance in a matter of milliseconds. We were hidden in the shadows of the airport terminal before the plane we had hitchhiked on had even slowed down.

We weren't out of danger, yet. Neither of us could hear Victoria any more, so we had no idea whether she thought that I was alone or not. Either way, her plans were disrupted: she hadn't found us, and if we moved fast, she wouldn't be able to.

Edward tugged me through a maintenance door and we powered through the halls, emerging into the airport. Neither of us slowed down and, keeping to the walls of the rooms, moved soundlessly through the humans until we exited the building.

He finally stopped moving once we'd skirted to a hidden alcove in a parking garage, where the security cameras were absent. Casually, he held my hand as we walked at a more-or-less human pace to the line of buses waiting for passengers. Edward listened for only a moment and picked one of the buses about to leave, and we were hardly seated before it was ambling on down the road.

A second bus pulled behind us, and one behind that. Edward's tense shoulders relaxed marginally. _She shouldn't be able to tell which bus we're on, even if she tracks us to the stop that this one was on. We can get far away from the airport, depending on what other methods of public transport we use to confuse her trail. _The idea in his mind was clear in mine: if we rode on multiple buses or taxis, she would theoretically lose our trail. Hopefully. It would take a long time, if we were thorough, but it was an idea. Something we could do…

_Anything that can help,_ I told him, resigning myself for some very tense rides around the city.

* * *

The bus we had hopped on took us close to a subway station, and we took three different trains before exiting the subway at the same location. We'd even walked up and down the trains, dispersing our scent so that she wouldn't know which door we exited or entered the train on. From the subway, we took the same bus route and exited further on down the line. Then we got off and took a different bus.

On the second bus, Edward's phone rang. He frowned as he pulled it out, but his expression cleared when he saw the caller ID. "Alice."

Her voice crackled slightly on the phone, but Edward's memories told me it was because of the cell reception in the city. _"It was short notice, but I managed to get a room for you at the Four Seasons. I told them you're an outdoorsy couple on their honeymoon, so they should have left you some information about the Blue Hills Reservation—that's your best bet for catching something decent to eat while out there." _

_How long are we staying, then?_ I asked, worried. We'd fed recently, but if she thought that we would need more access to our natural food source…

"Thank you, Alice," Edward replied, before repeating my question. "How long do you think we'll be here?" _Has she seen something else while we were on the plane?_

"_You'll probably just want to grab something to keep on top of your thirst," _she replied, knowing why he was asking. _"I don't know how long you'll be there, but it's better to be fully satiated in a city that populated." _

That made sense. _Thank her for me. _

_Of course. _"Bella says thank you for answering her question."

A faint, forced laugh sounded from the phone. "She can talk, you know."

I'd forgotten that I had revealed that particular ability in the meadow. _Perhaps I should have replied to her myself. It would have been less rude. _

_Nonsense. It's harder for you. Alice should know that, too._ "Alice, you know our plans, correct?" _She should know that, but I'm not about to argue with her now,_ he told me.

"_Take the next taxi,"_ she instructed, "_and call me from the hotel. You have a little time before…well, you know. Please, hurry." _Her voice quivered slightly. _"Be safe."_

My shoulders hunched up as I slipped my arms fully around Edward, clasping his hand with my other one in order to slip my arm around his back. He pulled me close, reassuring me with sensations from his mind and from his physical presence.

"We'll call you from the hotel," he replied, hanging up and slipping the phone away. With his now-free hand, he pulled me even closer to him and rested his head reassuringly on top of mine. At the next stop, we got off the bus and headed down a few blocks, hailing a taxicab. This time, we headed directly to the hotel.

Once there, the check-in process took precious few minutes and we were soon stepping into a suite, unburdened by luggage. Edward sat down on the couch in the main room, phone already to his ear in hopes that we would hear something more from Alice.

I couldn't bring myself to listen again. The idea that Edward could die here if we didn't leave soon enough made me ridiculously anxious for us to leave. But if Alice said that we should visit the reservation before going back home, then we would. I trusted her visions. Still…I wasn't sure if I could handle it. The mere thought of a hurt Edward sent wracking pain through my body.

To distract myself, I headed over to the large desk that was set up in the corner. There was a large, swiveling chair in front of it and the desktop was cleared of everything except a few pamphlets. I took a seat in that chair and picked up one of the pamphlets.

They all had the same name on them—the Blue Hills Reservation—and the information encompassed different aspects of the park. I skimmed through the information, slightly interested in the human perspective of the park. To me, it represented the possibility of another meal. To a human, it was nature walks, historical sites and hiking—nothing about meals, besides a warning not to feed to wildlife.

I smiled to myself. No, I wouldn't be feeding the wildlife, but I would have to feed _on_ the wildlife. Although, I was sure my enjoyment of the woodland creatures wouldn't be precisely what the forest rangers had in mind…

A hand fell on my shoulder, and I turned to see Edward's face, my heart still in my throat. I felt no small flood of relief when his face was smooth and free of worries. He was trying to be strong for me, knowing that I was torturing myself inside with the idea that he might not come back from this trip alive.

_Bella, please_, he begged, taking my hands in his. His dark gold eyes beseeched me to calm down. _We will get out of here. I promise you that. We'll make our trip to the Blue Hills Reservation very short. While we're gone, Alice will buy our plane tickets, so that we can just come straight back here to check out and head to the airport again._

I couldn't help but smile. _This time, we'll be sitting in the plane like real passengers, won't we?_

_No hitchhiking, _he confirmed with a smile.

* * *

Edward had called down for a rental car before we left our hotel room, and by the time we reached the front desk one was ready and waiting for us. It was a very nice little car, in my opinion. Edward scoffed at the comparative slowness and un-tuned engine, which simply couldn't compare to the cars he and Rosalie fixed up in their garage. I had to smile at his judgment of the car. _Of course it won't run as smoothly as the one you're spent ages working on to suit your needs._

_No car can compare to one that Rosalie or I fine-tune and improve, _he bragged. _Rosalie's, especially. She's the master of the trade. _I laughed.

Blue Hills wasn't too far from our hotel—especially at the speeds Edward drove—and we soon reached the entrance to the reservation. We followed the signs and headed toward the main building on the outskirts of the reservation. We'd have to park near the main building in order to keep our honeymooners-going-hiking impersonation.

Edward parked the car near the entrance, his eyes skimming over the signs and the few people who were wandering around outside. _It's not busy today, which is good. If we go deep enough into the forest, we should avoid most of the hikers. It'll take some control. We can't hunt as we normally do. _

_How will we, then? _I couldn't really imagine any other way of hunting.

_Take turns. Don't go into full hunting mode, but consciously close in on prey and start drinking from them with purpose, instead of letting our senses loose. It must be desperately close timing, if Alice is telling us we should hunt now before heading back. _He released my hand, but Edward was troubled. I could tell.

He'd parked the car but made no move to get out. Both of his hands rested on the steering wheel, and his eyes were focused blindly on the building before us. I rested one of my hands over his. Yes, it was more than our situation that bothered him. There was some argument going on in his head that I could barely follow. I finally ended up asking him. _What's wrong? _

_Why would Alice tell us to hunt here?_ He shook his head. _It's incredibly dangerous. And I don't understand, not really, why she thinks we'll need to have so much of our strength. We won't be here long, and a plane ride is more than manageable for both of us. We're not that thirsty. _

_Then why are we here? _I asked, confused. _If it doesn't make sense, then why are we doing what she's telling us to do? _

_Because she's Alice. We trust her. _

_I wasn't questioning that, _I replied, troubled. _Of course I trust Alice. I trust her so much. But Edward, if your instincts are telling you that something is wrong, then isn't it safer to listen to your feelings rather than your head? Logically, we know that we trust Alice. _I tugged his face towards mine, making him look at me._ But I think something's wrong, too._

He nodded, his eyes locked with mine. _I know._ He sighed out loud, a sound I only heard through his head. _What should we do? _

I thought for a moment. Hunting seemed like a bad idea. But we were here, and maybe Alice had wanted us to come for some reason. _Let's go inside. _

Edward went with my idea, not offering any other suggestions or refusing my request. He simply followed me, his arm secure around my waist as we headed up the steps to the wooden lodge that served as the main greeting center.

The room was mostly empty. Most people were breezing right past the building, intent on hiking and exploring the surrounding area. Edward and I walked right in, and I gazed around the sparsely decorated room with interest. It was really quite interesting in its own way.

My eyes traced over the historical pictures and models that were set up around the room. Edward's hand released mine as I headed around, noting with interest the dates and pictures. A few of the women were dressed in gowns that resembled the one I remembered had been worn to shreds on me. They were labeled with dates in the late 1830's and early 1840's.

Edward wandered the room as well, looking at the place with a keen, distrustful eye rather than my interested, amazed one. He was suspicious, and I let him scan for danger while I looked at all the things in the room. I kept an eye out for myself, as well, and made sure not to leave his line of sight. Victoria wasn't getting another chance at catching me alone: I wouldn't risk it, even if we were reasonably sure that she didn't know we would be here.

The small museum was laid out in a circular pattern, in the center of the room. A few pictures and informative panels were on the walls, but most of them were on walls standing in the middle of the room, lit up by track lighting on the ceiling.

A panel by a large window caught my attention.

The view from the window was nice—it was of the hills that the reservation took their name from, rocky and green. The panel was just a little story, a legend that had been pulled out of the woodwork from Bostonian legend. But the picture above the tale startled me.

The image was in black and white, and a small label informed me that it was a copy of a daguerreotype picture. The young woman's hair was coiled and pinned up, looking simultaneously fancy and yet, plain. She was obviously from the wealthier class of the time period, when compared to other pictures in the room which matched up with the date of this one. However, her dress was plainer, and her slender, delicate figure was not falsified by corsets and illusions created by her dress.

I could tell that her hair would have been dark mahogany. Her eyes seemed to be dark as well, and her skin was clean and clear—well, as much as I could make out from the picture, of which the quality was less than perfect. Her dress was simple and elegant, fancy yet plain.

And she was…me.

By the time Edward appeared beside me, noting my sudden stillness, I was reading the long placard of information below the photograph with some degree of incomprehension.

**_Blue Hills Legend: Isabella's Tragedy_**

_On September 13, 1823, Isabella Marie Swan was born to a wealthy couple in Boston, Mr. Charles Swan and Renee Swan. Her auspicious date of birth would signal the tragedies that followed her for the remainder of her life._

_Isabella was six months old before the Swans finally found a doctor who could confirm their growing suspicions. She was deaf, and had been from birth. There was no medical procedure that could possibly help her gain her missing sense. She also seemed to be indecently clumsy, and could hardly walk without running into an object. Her main doctor believed that the improper development of her inner ears was impairing her ability to balance._

_Tragedy struck on her eighth birthday, when the Swan family mansion burnt to the ground. Isabella was lucky to stumble out of the house, but her loving parents were not so fortunate. They perished in the flames, leaving Isabella the family fortune and no relatives to take her in._

_The young girl became a permanent fixture at the local boarding school, which she had attended since she was five. Pearson's School for the Deaf became her home. A teacher at the school, Miss Weber, had applied to adopt the girl, and became her closest friend and her legal guardian. The above picture of Isabella was taken just weeks before her seventeenth birthday, paid for by Ms. Weber._

_This bright spot in Isabella's life lasted until the girl's seventeenth birthday. While she was out with her friends for a special dinner in celebration of her birthday, someone snuck into the home she shared with Ms. Weber. Isabella returned home to find her dead guardian and friend in the bathroom. She left the house, never to return._

_Isabella moved into the boarding school's dorms, and stayed there until early December. She struggled to adjust after yet another loss, but the girls in the dorms noted that she seemed paranoid and wracked with nerves. Isabella went on a school field trip with her classmates to the Blue Hills Reservation—and never returned._

_A three-day search in the area yielded nothing. At the four-day mark, the hope of finding her was dimming. As a deaf student, Isabella could not hear the cries of the city's police and other volunteers who combed the forest for her. But it was on the fourth day that a terrified couple pelted out of the forest, a mother carrying her baby daughter and shielded by the father. The couple frantically wove a terrifying tale._

_While they walked down a trail near the largest of the Blue Hills, a young woman had appeared from the trees. Her gown was torn and stained with blood, and her skin seemed deathly white. Her hair hung in her eyes, completely free and wild, and her face was obscured. She had appeared to resemble the missing Isabella, until her head lifted and she pinned the couple with a deathly red gaze. Then she disappeared._

_Within an hour, an elderly man was found drained of blood on the opposite side of the reservation. The police were completely puzzled by the appearance of human nail marks in his skin, as well as his ravaged throat. They decided to focus their search on two areas—where the older man had died, and where the couple had run into the wild woman._

_Two hours later, they had discovered a cave in the largest Blue Hill that was smeared with blood. A bloody handprint, seeming to be that of a young female in size and proportion, marked the entry to the cavern. Investigators were certain that Isabella had been taken there, but her body was not present._

_Two more deaths in the Blue Hills have occurred since Isabella's mysterious disappearance, and only one eyewitness was left behind at the last murder scene to describe to police pale white skin and demonic, red eyes. They occurred in 1876 and 1931._

_Since then, there have been no sightings of a red-eyed woman in the Blue Hills Reservation._

Edward's hand twisted into mine, and the only thing that I could think to say was more or less meaningless. _My parents died?_

_Oh, Bella…_ There was pain in his voice, pain for me.

_We don't know if it's really me,_ I said weakly, tearing my eyes away from the words and the picture. _Even though that's me in the picture. And it all sounds so…so familiar. Oh, Edward…_

I collapsed forward in his arms, holding him tightly. It was a bit of a shock for me, to gain so much knowledge about my past all at once. It was so strange. So overwhelming. I didn't know what to do with everything that I'd learned.

Edward held me in his arms as I shivered and shook, processing the information. In the window behind me, through the heavy clouds, the sun slowly sunk in the sky.

* * *

_**A/N—**And you hate me again. :) Sorry, I can't write any more in here, or you won't get the chapter today. :)_

_I hope you liked finding out about Bella's past. BUT: there's more to this entire chapter than meets the eye! :D You'll get it soon enough…_

_NICOLE: I LOVE YOU. :D Seriously, girl, I know I sent you a reply and all, but you ROCK. :)_

_Thanks for reading! Love you all!_

_And—happy holidays!_


	20. Revelation

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N**—See, I got this one up a little bit faster for all of you! :)_

_Thanks to golaudydd for informing me of a possiblecopycat work—"Mute" by Keira Sawyer, in which a mute Bella is able to talk to Edward by touching him. However, I don't want to go after somebody when for all I know, it could be a coincidence. So, **I'll say it here for all of you**: my stories are very important to me. And I am flattered when people love what I've written. It doesn't bother me if people write something inspired by what I've written—I have several of those fics, myself. But I would appreciate it if the person inspired would me that they've stolen my idea. I can't really label it permission, because honestly, that's a bit dumb, to ask permission for an idea. But please, I'm not going to go crazy and say, "You can't post that, it's my idea!" I would just like the common courtesy. You can call it a point of pride if you must, but I really feel very strongly about this—the same way I hate cheating in school. So please, tell me if you want to take an idea I've used! I'll probably even read what you've written and leave a review! Thank you for your time!_

_All right: another warning for you all. I, yet again, am a lazy butt and decided that putting forth researching effort was a bore. So, let's just pretend there are deer in Blue Hills if you know for a fact there are not, shall we? Sorry, but I couldn't think of another herd animal that I could have them split up and chase in a forest. :)_

_And for the song change: You're the one that I need—Bella to Edward. I'm the one that you loathe—Bella to Victoria. You can watch me corrode—Bella about her diminishing hope and concerns all catching up to her._

_Enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

"…_You're the one that I need_

_I'm the one that you loathe_

_You can watch me corrode…"_

**_"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance_**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty – Revelation**

* * *

Boston, Massachusetts—Isabella Marie Swan

For long minutes, I stood with Edward's arms around me. Always my first choice as someone to confide in, I found myself completely reliant on his soothing support as I struggled to understand how I could possibly have learned so much about myself in so short a time. After many long years as a vampire, I finally had found out some of the secrets of my human life—and the story was nothing at all like what I had expected.

Well, for that matter, what had I expected? I had never hazarded a guess at what my past might have held, mostly because I had seen it as pointless to waste time worrying over something so trite. It was such an unexpected shock.

But my mind was capable of adapting quickly. And we were here with a purpose—not for one instant could I forget Alice's vision. It loomed constantly in my mind, like a giant neon sign in my head.

Even so, it took me a minute to realize that Edward's mind was racing a mile a minute. The basic gist of his thoughts surprised me.

_You think it's too convenient? _Even as I asked, I could see the truth of his concern.

Yes. I'm not sure I believe it is a coincidence that we happened to come here and find the information so easily. What are the chances of that possibly being up to fate?

_Slim, _I admitted. In fact, it was more than 'unlikely'—I would think it almost impossible. Perhaps with outside intervention…? I remembered who had sent us here, and suspicion bloomed in my stomach. _Maybe Alice—_

_She would have told you. Us. If she saw your past was up on a wall, to be read by anyone who walked in, she would have told you it was here. Or she would have called by now, having seen what happened. She would want to express her excitement for you—that's just how Alice is. It's too suspicious, that she told us to come here and we found this…_

He spoke the truth. I knew that was how Alice would act. I knew that it was suspicious. I had that instinctual feeling in my gut, too. But what could we do? Suddenly I had an idea.

He plucked the idea out of my head._ Of course. Call Alice. We could ask her why she didn't tell us what we would find here. Find out why she manipulated us into running across the information by chance. _

His cell phone flicked into his free hand, much faster than human reflexes would have allowed. I waited, my hand still twined with his, as he pressed the speed-dial button and held it to his ear. When it finally started ringing, the small chirps in his ear sounded just once before she picked up. _"Hello."_

Edward's lips thinned as his jaw tightened. "You know what we found, don't you?" _She can see dates, words and other things in visions. She must have seen this if she was watching us. _

Her reply was immediate. _"I'm so sorry. I had no idea until Bella saw it. We're all so excited for her that I didn't even think of calling you when everyone else was so happy, too. We're all curious about what you found, and can't wait until you're back home."_

Her words soothed my hurt and concern, but there was something just a little…off. Something nagged at the back of my mind, just enough to make me suspicious. I didn't want to suspect Alice of…of what? That was the question, after all.

_She might have been manipulating us, but I can't tell. I don't know how to tell. She's Alice. She's my sister, my friend—why would she ever do anything to us?_ He sighed. "We can't wait to be home, either. Do you have the plane tickets?"

_"Of course. As soon as you're done in Blue Hills, head back to the hotel and pick them up. I'll see you soon."_

I nodded, but Edward frowned as he confirmed the plans. "Thank you, Alice." _There's still something wrong. _He clicked the phone shut. _I can't tell what it is, but I know what I feel, what I sense. _He was worried. I could hear it in his mind, see it on his face, and sense it in his grip on my hand.

It was so humbling for me to see that he wasn't concerned with his own safety, but whether _I_ would be safe. Whether _I_ would be taken care of by our family, or whether Victoria would get me, too…

_Hey. _I lifted my free hand, cupping his cheek. I didn't want him to think about me like that—I wanted him to worry about his own safety. _We'll be all right._ I stressed the "we", placing emphasis on it that we could both feel echoing in our minds._ Your family will be fine. And we'll get out of here, all in one piece._ I had to believe that we would make it. I wished that I'd thought to have Edward ask Alice if her vision was still strong. If he was still going to…

He pulled me away from my thoughts, tugging my hands as we left the building. _It's all right, Bella. I'll be fine. You'll see. Nothing is going to happen to me—we won't be here long enough to run the risk of it coming true. _

He was right, in a way. We weren't planning on sticking around any longer than absolutely necessary. It would be fine… I kept reassuring myself as we made out way slowly into the forest, heading out on a 'night hike'.

It was ridiculously easy to duck off the lit paths and make our own way into the woods. Edward and I slipped easily between the trees, seeking out a scent to find our meal. We were about halfway into the reservation when we caught wind of a herd of deer.

I released his hand in order to hunt, taking careful note of the surrounding area with the sense I gained when touching my fingers to the ground. For at least two or three miles in every direction, not a single human could be found. I proceeded with caution anyway, remembering Edward's warnings and our plan. With careful deliberation, we stalked around the herd, coming at it from either side.

We were just within pouncing distance, hearing them on the other side of a thin barrier of trees, I saw them lift their heads and run. And I immediately chased after my half of the herd, taking care to skim the ground with my fingers for a brief instant. Edward was running in the opposite direction—I'd have to remember that so I could find him again. The half of the herd that he was chasing had split away from my half.

Bloodlust took over when I reached the herd, and I fed on three of the deer and disposed of the evidence. Once done, I lifted my head and gazed around at my surroundings. The hills were behind me, in the direction I had run from, and I seemed to be completely alone out there.

The stark silver moonlight coated the dark forest, making the forest shine with a subtler light. It was less intense than the sunlight, and I could see even further with my hypersensitive eyes than I could in the daytime. But I didn't see any evidence of a hunter in the forest—no birds flying from the trees, disturbed by the sound of Edward hunting down his meal. They had probably all been disturbed already, and he was trying to find his way back to me, too.

Placing my fingers on the ground, I frowned when I couldn't sense anyone else. There were plenty of animals, and plants were abundant, but I couldn't sense my vampire. Sighing, I followed the trail I had created, heading back toward where I had split away from Edward.

Once I reached the place we had split off from, I reached down and brushed my fingers to the ground again. Then I frowned. I still couldn't sense him. That was odd… I was sure he wouldn't have gone too far. Shrugging, I sniffed and found his scent—that delicious scent that made me tremble slightly—and began to follow that through the forest.

I reached down twice more to touch the ground, and each time I didn't feel Edward. I knew what he felt like very well. I knew what all my family felt like using this sense of mine. It was the third time that my hand touched the wet earth that I finally sensed him.

He was in the hills—in, literally, because I could sense his body surrounded by rock. A cave, maybe?

And there was someone else there with him. One of our kind.

I felt like someone was squeezing my insides together. I took off, running even faster than I had been before—pushing myself to the limit. I didn't want to think about who I assumed was there with him, but I could barely keep her name out of my head. I just knew I had to get there as fast as I could.

The hills rose up in front of me very quickly, and I touched the ground again. My fingers clenched in the earth, squeezing together a handful of dirt. The shapes inside the cave had moved—Edward connected with the wall as my hand was on the ground, and the other vampire was crouched near the entrance of the cave. The brief, millisecond-long snapshot was all I needed to find their location.

I felt increasingly desperate, despite how short a time it really took for me to reach the cave. If this were…her, then what help would I be to Edward? I didn't know how to fight a vampire—I didn't know if I could kill her. I knew that was what it might take, but I didn't know if I was strong enough.

It was odd. I had killed humans and animals alike for sustenance. But the thought of killing another vampire made my stomach twist slightly—even if she was trying to kill me. I couldn't help thinking about the parallels, about…about James.

He might never know what had happened to…her.

Why she had to die.

I felt horribly guilty about that.

But I wasn't about to stand aside and let her live, just because I felt queasy at the thought of killing her. She would destroy my family if she thought that she could get to me by doing so. There was no way she was walking away, if she really was attacking Edward.

And then I entered the cave, my eyes wide as I took in the scene.

* * *

Boston, Massachusetts—Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

The deer picked up their feet and took off, darting through the trees with light, graceful ease. I stalked after the herd, making sure to note which direction Bella had followed the other half. The darkness of the forest surrounded me, but I could see clearly by the light of the moon.

I had followed the herd right up to the base of the hills, amusing my predator self as I chased them. The frightened animals smelled so much better than they did when placid, and sadistically, I kept them running until they were exhausted.

But just before I could finally end the chase and take down a kill, I heard something.

…_worked. They're separated, and now I can close in…_

I knew that voice. I'd heard it twice before, and now I heard it in this forest.

Victoria.

My heels dug into the ground and I came to a complete standstill. Bella and I had split up. And Victoria's goal was to kill my Bella. I had no idea where she was in this forest, but I had to get back to Bella before Victoria found her.

Already, the words in my mind were too faint to hear. I had no idea what made Victoria's mind so traitorous to my extra sense, but I was beginning to suspect that she was equipped with some extra ability. And whatever it was kept her mind…not concealed, the way Bella's was, but somewhat…twisted, warped. How fitting.

The only thing I was sure of was that I had to find Bella. My legs were moving even as I had considered my theory, and I continued running now as I concentrated on finding her. I was following my own trail back to where we had split up—

My only warning was a faint echoing murmur of her thoughts.

I had thought she was further away, but the warping of her thought-waves had confused more than her words. I didn't realize she was there until she ran in front of me. I froze at the sight of the red-haired vampire, my feet digging into the ground to stop my forward momentum.

An instant later, I was crouched and prepared for her to attack.

To my surprise, she had a calm façade up. Instead of attacking, she placed her hands on her hips casually and stared at me with wide, almost friendly eyes. I could have been fooled, if not for her thoughts. _These two were far too easily manipulated. It's almost a shame I have to kill him now, before I lose the opportunity. _"Why, hello, Edward."

I didn't move or reply. My knees were bent as I waited, ready to spring and defend myself from her attack.

Her lips tightened. "Where's…Marie?" _Too far away to find her way back to him in time. She won't even know he's dead until I get to her. _

My lips curled back sharper, intensifying my snarl and predatory expression.

"Ah—won't you tell me? I thought we were on friendly terms." _She must have told him about my threat. This is going to be trickier. How do I get him to the cave? _The image flickered into, then out of, her mind.

A spasm ran through my arms at the sight. I recognized it, vaguely. It matched the cave that Bella remembered—a hand sliding on the wall, bloody handprint left behind. Of course: we were in Boston. Presumably, Bella had disappeared in this very park, if the information we had read was, indeed, about her. And Victoria was the one who had killed her…

So, she wanted to take me to that cave? Was that simply a whim—a symbolic need of hers, to take me to the place where she had 'killed' Bella and there, take care of me as well?

I couldn't begin to grasp the reasoning behind that…but looking at Victoria, I could see that there was a key amount of reason missing. She seemed calm on the surface, and I knew that her mind was now racing with ways to force me to go to that cave, but there was something… Perhaps it was her eyes, and the way those dark burgundy irises glistened with something I'd compare to mindless bloodlust.

This all raced through my head for a long minute, before I finally—carefully—straightened out of my crouch. I pulled my expression together, allowing nothing to leak out. I was certain of several things: first, Victoria was completely focused on me, and not even thinking of going after Bella until I was taken care of. Second, that she wanted me to go to this cave, and was eerily desperate to think of a way how.

And third, if I wanted any chance to kill her, then I would have to play along and take her down when she least suspected me to know anything about her intentions.

She was pretending wariness when I finally answered her with a calm voice. "I must apologize—you rather took me by surprise, and I'm afraid I was hunting when you appeared in front of me."

Victoria laughed, a false note in the air. "It's quite all right. You don't need to explain the territorial struggle to me." _Is that all it was? He thought I was competition in his hunt? I'm not sure he's telling the truth. _

I nodded once, considering my next move.

Fortunately, she took control of the situation. "I suppose that's what Marie is up to, right now?" _She followed the second half of the herd. I made sure of it. _The images that flashed in her mind didn't make sense to me for a moment, until I realized what a thrown rock, flying over the treetops, had to do with the herd.

She'd thrown it. She'd startled the herd into splitting up by throwing a rock. I had to admit that she was rather innovative—her method of manipulating the situation had kept Bella and I from catching her scent. And although she didn't know it, it had also kept her out of range of my ability. At this proximity, the diversion-effect of her mind was very weak. Any further, and I wouldn't be able to hear her as clearly.

My reply wasn't hesitant, or too late. "Yes, we split up." Inspiration struck. I had to play along with her plans, so… "I was going to meet back up with her at the foot of the hills."

_Perfect! _She wasn't even suspicious of me: after all, to her knowledge, I had no idea what she wanted with me. "How convenient. I set up a camp of sorts for myself, in one of the caves hidden in the cliffs." _It will be a simple matter to persuade him to come with me._

I smiled politely. "Is that so? How interesting. I didn't know there were caves."

"Would you like to come with me, while we wait for Marie?" _This is working perfectly. I just need to get him to the caves, and then I can kill him. The smoke will be coming from the back of the cave, so it should take longer for that wretched girl to notice it. With luck, I'll have killed her, too, before she does. _

So, that was her plan, her goal. I hadn't thought about my death in those terms at all, but obviously her desire to get me to the cave was more than some twisted symbolic pleasure. My reply was courteous, as I turned back towards the hills. "Of course."

She stepped up beside me, our pace set at a fast jog. I ran slowly compared to my usual speed capacity, as a safeguard for an escape. Victoria didn't notice—her thoughts were on our destination, and her plan to attack as soon as we reached the cave. Good: I would be prepared, then, just in case.

But I didn't want to let myself get pulled into a vulnerable position. I wondered if I could get away from her, if I could outrun her. Maybe I'd have no choice but to enter the cave, despite any contingency plans…

We had to talk about something while we ran. It had been too quiet for a minute too long, and she was unsettled by it. I didn't so much as glance at her as I asked, "You asked if Marie had ever been to Boston before, back in Washington. Tell me, why did you ask?"

_Bella, dressed in a simple gown of the Victorian era, seated at a desk…hair piled back on her head, face clean and free of any make-up and body free of any jewelry…eyes glazed, she traced letters with a careful hand to an envelope…Bella, walking down a street in a different dress…a shadow in an alley steps forward behind her…James' face, briefly lit by moonlight, emerges from the shadow, eyes locked on her figure…Bella, turning around, surrounded by trees, her eyes wide and frightened, her lips tightly pressed together…her mouth opens, a question or statement emerging…_

The images flashed in her mind quickly, and I barely caught them all. Then Victoria answered my question with a neutral voice.

"I thought that she was someone I knew. Marie looked remarkably like her. I met her in Boston, in 1840. She lived here, a student at a boarding school. I thought that she had died—after all, she was human. It was rather shocking to think I saw her on the field with you, after all that time. But I suppose she wasn't really Isabella, after all."

But all the while, her mind was raging the true story.

_She is that little whore who almost stole James. She caught his attention. He wouldn't stop talking about her. I couldn't stand to listen to him. I was with him for thirty years. He had never paid any notice to me. Then she was here. I wasn't going to sit around while I lost him. Trying to scare her into leaving the school did no good. I was her nightmare, all right, but she thought I wasn't real. But I was. I dragged her away from her classmates. And she clearly doesn't remember how I tortured her before her death. I'm not really surprised, with the venom. Obviously, I didn't get it all back out of her system. But this time, her torture will be absolute—and end with her death._

And with that onslaught of information, I finally pieced together the puzzle. It was a frightening picture.

Victoria thought of Bella with a pure hatred in her voice. The fuel behind the fire was jealousy—she hated that Bella had captured James' attention, when she had desired him for a long time. And when she thought that she was losing James to a mere human girl, she lashed out with horrible rage and hatred. Judging from her thoughts, I guessed torturing Bella was her way of releasing her anger over the situation. The only thing I wasn't positive about was why she wanted James oblivious to what she had done and was doing now.

Then again, who wanted their mate to know they had tortured and killed perceived competition?

That was my mind—cool logic, considering the mechanics of how this situation came about. My heart felt like it was bleeding for Bella; for all that she had suffered at the hands of this madwoman. And a cold, hard rage in my chest burned.

What Victoria had done to Bella was indescribable, horrific. The images that flashed in her mind made me feel sick.

I couldn't shut the images out of my head, and I learned so much more than I wanted to about Bella's final hours as a human. It was a testament to Victoria's determination and hatred that she had managed to keep from draining Bella dry the first time she had bled. Broken legs, arms, ribs, collarbone, skull…and the blood, so much _blood_…

My fists clenched together tightly. My jaw clenched before I forced myself to relax it, and my hands. No, I couldn't tip her off…

And then we were at the foot of the hills, and Victoria pointed the way to the cave. "It's just up this way." _The two of them must die before I can go back to James_. She gestured for me to go ahead of her, and I moved without hesitation. I knew she was trying to trap me, but she wasn't going to.

I was going to kill her, for everything she had done to Bella. The clips of torture that were burned into my mind fuelled my desire to see her burning to smoke and ashes.

The gaping maw of the cavern was right before me, and Victoria behind me at such close proximity I could stretch my arm behind me and grab her. Or she could grab—

Understanding came too late.

I had been prepared for her to attack me once we were completely inside the cave, trying to lull me into a false sense of security. I couldn't believe I had been arrogant enough to miss the full details of her plan.

Her hand curled over my shoulder without warning—it was like a reflex, not a conscious thought—and I found myself airborne.

As a vampire, my reflexes were incredibly sharp. I flipped in the air, so that my back connected with the wall. I felt the rock bend and mold itself around my body as the impact occurred, and I steadied myself against the stone to launch a counterattack. She crouched in the mouth of the cave, her lips curled back and a spine tingling snarl tearing out of her mouth. _Time to die, young one._

Yes, indeed. "No," I murmured, pushing away from the wall to sink into a crouch myself. "I'm not the one who will die today, Victoria."

Her eyes widened_. I said nothing._

"No, you didn't." I grinned as her quick mind caught up to my words.

She bristled, a low growl echoing out of her throat as she took a step forward. _No more playing around. And I thought he was too dangerous to let live before._

"No—let's not play around," I echoed her sentiment for the effect it had on her confidence.

And I leapt.

* * *

_**A/N**—To be continued…_

_Thanks for reading!_


	21. Resolution

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N—**__**WARNING**__. __**WARNING**__. WARNING. There is violence in this chapter. Not suitable for the squeamish. Repeat: WARNING. __**WARNING**__. __**WARNING**__. _

_I know it's taken me forever to update. I'm glad that so many love this story. _

_Guess what? ONE CHAPTER LEFT. Yeah, it really is that close to the end. I totally did not realize it was that close until I finished writing this chapter, and then I gaped at my computer for a long minute. I can hardly believe it. There's one actual chapter left, and then an honorary chapter chock-full of a long author's note and other odds and ends I want to include for your perusal. I'm sorry there's not more of a warning for you… :D _

_This feels like a very short chapter, but I can't really put anything more here. It feels like an anti-climatic ending to me, perhaps because I've been waiting for it for so long. But it's everything that I wanted to include, and everything I expected and planned for. So… Well, here it is. _

_Enjoy the update!_

* * *

"…_I've really been on a bender and it shows…_

…_Give me a shot to remember…_

…_So you can leave like the sane abandoned me…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One—Resolution**

* * *

Boston, Massachusetts—Isabella Marie Swan

The scene that lay before my eyes was straight from a nightmare.

Edward, locked in combat, could not spare even an instant to notice my frozen self by the entrance to the cavern. Victoria darted before him, her arms slightly extended as if to hold him in a friendly embrace. Her deadly, clawed fingers pulsed gently. She was positively itching to grip him with all the force she could muster.

He was mirroring her actions, his arms stiff and body steadily balanced on the balls of his feet. He was ready for her to attack, ready to fight. And there was something in his face that told me he knew how to win, not just struggle against her deadly assault.

But…Alice's vision was at the forefront of my mind. I could not move, for fear that anything I did would cause his death, cause her vision to come true.

My fingers curled into tight, helpless fists as I watched—and listened.

Their banter was one-sided. Edward murmured responses to whatever she had thought. I could see his lips moving; could feel the vibrations in the air as easily as the shockwaves from their fight. I could see him speak, but I couldn't understand. Frustrated, I could only watch their bodies twist and turn in their deadly dance. I couldn't even focus on their lips, for they moved too much and the rest of their motions drew my focus.

I winced when their skin clashed, the feeling like boulders tumbling over one another in an avalanche. My stomach twisted in ever-tighter knots as she came too close to grasping his arm. Tightly compressing my lips, I said nothing as he retaliated with a sharp, eager blow to her head.

But I could not interfere. I didn't know how to fight one of my own kind—it was nothing like taking down prey. Prey was weaker, prey had to bend to the solid diamond of my body. A vampire was of the same substance as I, nearly impenetrable and more than capable of fighting back…and winning. Killing me instead of me killing it.

I would be a liability to Edward if I involved myself in this fight.

And I didn't know how to help him. The only thing I could do was stand out of the way, bearing silent witness to the quiet world around me. A sentinel, a stone statue watching them with mouth agape and eyes wide—unable to do a single thing to help…that was what I was.

That was all I could let myself be.

I couldn't be the cause of his death…I told myself that, over and over. With every hit, with every vibration, I inched forward—then forced myself to step back. Constantly, the refrain of, "No, no, no," rang in my head. Until I couldn't tell whether I meant, "Don't get involved," or, "Don't hurt him!"

I had no idea how long I stood and watched, aching to help and terrified of doing so. He noticed me—I could tell, even with all his concentration narrowed down solely to her—and she saw me, too. He knew what I was doing. She might have guessed.

The time passed so slowly, yet so swiftly. The minutes stretched on, both performing to the best of their abilities—both trying their absolute hardest to win the battle. I could see the exertion as time went on, could see how, even though their bodies didn't tire, their minds were.

And then she lunged at him, in a move that was desperate. I could see that it was. And it worked.

I had tired, too. My mind was worn, my fear and anxiety breaking my vow of silence. I gasped aloud as she slammed Edward into the wall.

It was my mistake.

* * *

Boston, Massachusetts—Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

Victoria could not stop thinking, though she tried her hardest not to give me anything. She might have vaguely understood that I had a unique ability, but that didn't mean she was able to shield herself effectively from my reach. Without prior knowledge and effort, her 'defenses' were useless against me.

I wasn't the most skilled fighter, but my ability was an innate advantage over virtually any opponent. I could win: I would win.

I _had_ to win.

Bella appeared at the entrance to the cave near the beginning of our fight, but I barely spared her a glance. My concentration absolutely had to be on Victoria. As long as I kept my focus on her, as long as I got rid of her, then by proxy Bella would be safe. All she had to do was stay out of the way… I couldn't let her place herself in unnecessary danger.

Fortunately, she seemed to understand that I wanted her to stay out of the fight. Bella was frozen in place, so still that I wouldn't have been surprised if Victoria didn't notice her—but of course, she did. I redoubled my efforts to keep her focus on me, to keep her thoughts away from my Bella.

It worked for the most part. We spun and struck at each other, each trying to grip the other.

Our intent was to kill.

And both of us were evenly matched.

I was certain that I could win, if I had a chance to get past her defenses. If I took her by surprise, catching her off guard, I could tear her limb from limb the way I wanted to. My anger at her was like a fiery fuel that fed my every motion. I wasn't even breathing, my concentration on our fight was so absolute.

At least, I thought it was.

She grew desperate. She lunged, her intent to shove and not tear—hoping that I would be caught off guard in that moment, that I would provide an opening for her to rip into me. It was a roundabout, slightly frantic move for her to make. My shoulders slammed into the wall, but I wasn't caught off guard by her action.

Then Bella gasped. And I made a mistake—a stupid, foolish mistake.

My eyes flew to her face. They moved off of my opponent.

One second. One glance.

That was all she needed.

Pain exploded in my wrist.

* * *

Boston, Massachusetts—Isabella Marie Swan

I saw his eyes move off her face. I saw her hands, greedy and grasping, reach out and lock on his arm—far flung and curled, like he was reaching for her in the instant he focused on me, his hand was easy to grasp. Easy for her to lock her rigid fingers around it and pull.

There was sensation in the air—it wasn't vocal, it wasn't words. I didn't know how to descried the awful sensation that sound made, the way it sent shivers up my spine. The only recognizable vibration after that was Edward's roar of pain. The air trembled at his cry, and his other hand clamped around the wounded limb.

I knew Edward was hurt—with a mind-numbing, stomach-clenching _knowing_ that chilled me to the core. I knew that he was in danger, but I was frozen in fear the instant I understood. And the next moment, I was no longer frozen.

If I had blinked, I would have missed it. One second sooner, and I wouldn't have noticed.

But I didn't blink. And somehow, despite being frozen, I saw.

I saw his wrist. I saw how Victoria had twisted it, how Edward was cradling the damaged hand to his chest. I s_aw_ what she had done—saw the torn skin, the ripped muscle, and the bone barely being held together by tendons. The venom, spilling from the edges of his skin to close the wound, too slow to repair it before he would need it to fight her off.

It was only a brief, chanced glimpse, but it was enough to ignite the oil-fury that had lain in my chest as I watched and waited. It went up, a blazing inferno.

And I could not stand still.

I didn't realize I'd moved until my knees were digging into her back, my fingers were digging into her shoulders, and I was releasing an unheard war cry. I had no idea what sound was coming from my lips—all I knew was my fury, and _she must die_ for hurting him. For trying to _kill_ him.

On the outskirts of my rage, I felt ashamed for not acting sooner. For hesitating because I was worried I would get myself, or Edward, killed by interfering. The panicked rationalization was completely gone from my mind as my fingers went from digging _into_ her shoulders to…tearing an arm _from_ her shoulder.

My brutality was shocking enough to me that she managed grab me with her remaining arm, throwing me from her back. I slammed into the solid rock wall, feeling it bend underneath my back.

But it was too late for her.

Edward was too close. She was caught off guard, her focus on me. She was as disabled as he was. Her back was too him. He only needed one hand and his teeth. His fingers curled in her hair, pulling violently—

I closed my eyes, and turned away. The scene of death before me felt too familiar—felt too much like torture, as the sounds of her demise ripped through the air with chilling vibrations. In this cave, in this place I had known in my last minutes of human life, the death of my creator made some kind of hole rip in my chest.

I didn't know why I felt like this. She had killed me for no reason, tortured me before my death, hurt Edward—and still, I could find no joy in her death. No peace, nor resolution. I felt nothing, in a way that was so much worse than the emptiness I felt towards the humans and animals I had killed in my long years of solitude.

No, this was different, because I knew what I should feel. I should feel as if justice was taking place, as if we were winning our freedom and I was getting revenge on her. But I didn't, maybe because…it wasn't like that for me.

This hadn't been a quest to find who I was, to dispose of an old enemy, and to ensure the life of my mate. It was survival, it was expected; it was what had to happen. It was fate. Destiny.

Maybe.

Or maybe it really was all part of a larger picture, that theory of a quest. Maybe I was meant to discover everything that I had, and to know who I was at the end of this. Maybe she had to die so I could live—have a life with Edward, with the Cullens, with myself. Maybe she was a good person, driven to terrible acts by necessity, paranoia, fear—or maybe she was a bad person, the way I saw her…but truthfully? She could have been either, or both. Or neither.

The point was that I should have felt something. Something other than an overwhelming sadness—unless, of course, I thought of the selfish. Unless I thought of what it meant for my past, that she was gone. That made more sense, even though I was still unsure. I wasn't usually a selfish person, but maybe in this case…

A hand on my arm brought me back to myself.

I lifted my head from the wall, turning back to the cave. I could smell the venom lingering in the air. Edward's eyes drew me in, their topaz concerned and weary. I reached for him without thought, taking his hurt arm in my hands. The wound was already closing—slowly but surely—and I could see the mound of Victoria's body on the floor.

He grimaced slightly as my hands touched his, transmitting my concerns and worries into his head. I heard him—the weariness after the battle, the exhilaration of the fight coupled with the overwhelming concern for my safety and healthy. _Are you all right?_

_Of course I am._ I would be if I weren't already. _Are you?_

_I'll be okay._ He smiled, knowing better than to tell me he was fine when he was wounded. _I need to light her remains on fire. We'll have to leave the cave quickly and head back. _He was concerned about me, but he was also concerned with keeping up appearances and ensuring our safety from the human world.

I felt like I was in shock over the whole situation, but with Edward's hand in mine, I was slowly wrapping my head around it. There was a lot of room for wrapping in there.

I knew what he wanted by his gently words, never mind being about to directly read his thoughts. I allowed my feet to follow him as he made his way back to what was left of Victoria. We paused for the second it took for him to flick the lighter on and drop it on her remains. He'd had it in his pocket this whole time, a precaution that Carlisle had given him before we left the house.

We left it behind as we exited the cave, wandering into the forest. Heading to our car at the station, then to our hotel room: after that, back to Forks.

Home.

* * *

_**A/N—**__I'll repeat myself here: ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT. You're almost to the end! _

_Thanks for reading! _


	22. Epilogue

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga and am not Stephenie Meyer. **_

_**A/N—Yes, this is indeed the last chapter-chapter. The next chapter is an A/N, so I'll keep this one short and just say that I would love for you to all at least skim that huge closer for this story. :) **_

_**Enjoy the chapter! **_

* * *

"…_Give me a shot to remember_

_And you can take all the pain away from me_

_A kiss and I will surrender…"_

_**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**_

* * *

**Epilogue**

* * *

Boston, Massachusetts—Isabella Marie Swan Cullen

The sunrise was truly beautiful here, even with the dense clouds smothering the brightest rays of sunlight.

The dim, gray light stretched in ribbons across the bricks and mortar holding the building together. The old windows shone, their cleanliness a strange contrast to the dirtiness of the old school. If it were not a historic site, then it would have been torn down long ago. I had half expected it to be gone when we came here, denying me the little glimpse into the past.

I knew my story, but being back here in this school hit a chord somewhere within me. I could vaguely see shapes wandering the streets around me—men and women, dressed from a much earlier time period—as my memory attempted to correct itself with a careful, methodological poking and prodding at my mind. It wouldn't heal my memories, wouldn't reveal everything, but even a small glimpse was enough. I could almost see…

I shook my head, not wanting to revisit the memory. But try as I might, I couldn't help myself. I remembered her when I had walked into the room that I somehow, instantly, knew had been mine. The plaque on the wall, detailing the same legend that was in Blue Hills, was ignored as I looked around. And in front of the ancient desk, looking into the mirror, I saw her standing behind me.

Her red hair, her burgundy eyes, her pale skin, her sharp teeth… Being back in the city, after the last time I had been here, was so strange. I remembered her so well.

I remembered what she had accomplished. When we reunited with our family, it wasn't where we had expected—we thought we'd see them again in Forks. Instead, we reached the hotel and there they stood, waiting for us. Alice threw her arms around me. I remembered that distinctly, just as I remembered I had needed that hug after…well, after helping kill Victoria.

The details unfolded, the full story coming to light. Alice had never called us, save once. She had seen Edward speaking on the phone, but interpreted the visions as him deciding whether or not to call her. She had waited until she began to be suspicious, worried as she saw the flashes of our encounter with Victoria in Blue Hills. And so, she had finally called—only to find that Edward's phone, and mine, were cut off from her.

I didn't pretend to understand the technical jargon and investigation that had ensued once we were all together—and by that time, home in Forks—and all I cared about were the results. Victoria had done something—blocked phone signals, switched her cell number with Alice's so Edward's caller ID had shown the wrong name, changed her voice most likely through a talent of her own…

It was ridiculous, and far to cinematic, but it was the truth. It had happened. And her plan had nearly worked.

It was slightly terrifying, even now, to think that the only flaw in her plans had been Edward's talent—that without his ability, we would not have won that fight. I thought I had been grateful for that talent before…

After that, we had assumed that Victoria had just been that naturally intelligent—something that made her insanity all the sadder to me. She would have been a valuable ally, with her talent at mechanical human objects. It was quite a stunt she had pulled on us. Of course, maybe I could only think of it that way now that she was certainly dead and could not hurt us. Her talent was admirable with time and distance.

But it hadn't been all her talent. She had learned from someone.

I swallowed hard, my fists clenching against my sides. A ghostly pain ran along the scar, hidden under my clothes on my right side. I didn't like to think of those memories. I didn't like to remember…

The glass was so clean that I could see his reflection before he touched me. He made sure of that, knowing my fear of being snuck up on. It had only been six years since that encounter, and I was still afraid of…_him_. Well, the memory of _him_: _he_ was dead now, too. _He_ had joined Victoria: I was sure that she would be thrilled that she had _him_ all to herself, now. No 'sharing' with me.

His hand slid into mine, mind opening up like a book. There was concern for me, for whether I was experiencing too many memories at once. _How are you doing, Bella? _

_I'm fine,_ I reassured him, tilting my head to the side so I could look at him.

The right side of his face was smooth, and he gazed down at me with tender affection and concern. There was a serious look in his eyes, a slightly dangerous glint to them. _The truth, please._

I sighed and looked at the floor. Truthfully, I was thinking about something that neither of us ever really liked thinking about. But when we were here, there were only a few paths that my thoughts could take.

I took his other hand in mine, lifting it. My eyes locked on the scarring around his wrist. Venom closed wounds with painful slowness—we couldn't bleed out, but it hurt while we healed. The price of eternal life, I supposed… Then I lifted my eyes, and with one hand, gently tilted his face towards mine.

Now that I no longer saw his face in profile, I could see the scar that was almost unnoticeable to human eyes. But to vampire eyes, the centimeter-thick line that ran from his temple, across his eye and to his chin…the scar was clearly visible. Only Jasper had worse scars than these, and those were from the terrible fights he endured during his years in his old southern coven.

Edward let me look, his eyes locked on my face. His hand had drifted to my waist, gently tracing a line from my hip to a few inches underneath my arm. My own scar, one that only he had ever seen once I had healed.

I finally answered, even though he already knew—could already hear—what my answer was. _I'm appreciating that I have you, as I'm remembering all we've had to face to get here. _

His face was free from any guilty expression. It had taken a long time for me to break him of that habit of taking on the guilt for this: I was glad that he let me talk him down from it. _Do you want to see any more of the school? _

I hesitated, considering it—there was so much here that was familiar. But I had time. _I want to visit Ms. Weber's house. Angela's house. _It had taken me a long time to pull up the courage to come and face this city again, much less face my past, but I had reached that point two months ago. And now that we were here, I wanted to see everything that I had supposedly once known.

_Of course,_ he consented. Taking my left hand in his, he made a point to gently kiss my knuckle and run his thumb gently over the ring settled securely on my hand. Then he released my hand, allowing me privacy for my thoughts as he guided me towards the exit of the building with a gentle arm looped around my waist.

Naturally, my thoughts locked on that ring. A symbol of our love, commitment, and choice of lifestyle, Edward had taken the time to explain the importance of doing things 'the right way' by me. I would have been content to 'live in sin', as he called it, but… It was important to him. I had no particular aversion to the idea. And I had to admit that I had enjoyed the human tradition.

He glanced back down at me, a smile lighting up his face, and I reciprocated the gesture, twisting my own arm around his waist in a gesture as possessive as his.

And we stepped out the door into the early morning together.


	23. Final AN

"**Hear No Evil"—Final Author's Note**

_**Contents: **_

_HNE Songs—Songs for the Story_………songs that I used for the story.

_The Song Dissection—"Hear No Evil" by My Chemical Romance_………a dissection of the song that inspired this entire story.

_AddieW—Helpful Information Regarding Sign Language_………some truly interesting information about sign language.

_NotAfraid—A (True) Theory Regarding HNE_………a theory about my story that I was absolutely psyched to receive.

_Final Author's Note_………my final author's note for the story.

* * *

_**HNE Songs—Songs for the Story**_

These include songs that inspired the story. Not all of them were used in the first song lyrics in the chapter, some were mentioned, and others I just listened to while writing (trust me—I remember what I was listening to while writing).

"_The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance_

"_Boston" by Augustana_

"_You Are The One" by Shiny Toy Guns_

"_All The Arms Around You" by Halloween, Alaska _

"_Breaking The Habit" by Linkin Park_

"_Numb" by Linkin Park _

"_You Won't Be Mine" by Matchbox Twenty_

* * *

_**The Song Dissection—"Hear No Evil" by My Chemical Romance**_

This was created upon the start of my story. As I wrote, some things were dropped or left out because they didn't really help with the plot. This has been changed to somewhat from the original jotted-down notes to fit with the story as I went along, because I wanted to stay true to the story and I felt that if I stuck with the song, then it would be. Anyway, the setup it this:

_Lyrics—_point of view—connection to story

These are also **not** in chronological order to the story. Enjoy the look into my mind…

(Stanza One)

_Well it rains and it pours_ – Bella – the weather of Forks

_When you're out on your own_ – Bella – Bella is/was all alone

_If I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes_ – Bella – Bella at the Cullen's house when she first arrives

_Cause I spent the night dancing_ – Bella – dancing metaphorically, as in wavering between whether she loves Edward or not

_I'm drunk I suppose_ – Bella – when she's starting her relationship with Edward and is 'drunk on love'

_If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave_ – Bella – Bella using sign language to communicate

_This alone_ – Bella – she is alone (until she find the Cullens)

_You're in time for the show_ – Bella – Bella to Cullens, when they meet (because she's so different from other vampires, it's a 'show')

_You're the one that I need_ – Bella – Bella to Edward

_I'm the one that you loathe_ – Bella – Bella to Victoria

_You can watch me corrode_ – Bella – Bella about her diminishing hope (near the end)

_Like a beast in repose_ – Bella – Bella on the thirst of vampires

_Cause I love all the poison_ – Victoria – Victoria, and 'poison' is her, making a mess of Bella's life because of James (what Victoria does to Bella, basically)

_Away with the boys in the van_ – Bella – the van is a metaphor; when the Quileutes are taking her to meet the Cullen family

(Repeated Lines)

_I've really been on a bender and it shows_ – Bella – Bella referring to her years as a lone vampire

_So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes_ – Bella – Bella to Edward before the big chase begins and she and Alice are supposed to go on the plane to Boston

_Give me a shot to remember_ – Bella – the venom 'shot' that transformed her, took away her memory; metaphorically, when she's in the school at the end of the story and kind of remembering

_And you can take all the pain away from me/A kiss and I will surrender_ – Bella – Bella to Edward on their relationship

_The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead_ – Bella – 'sharpest lives' = vegetarian vampire life (from there it's literal)

_A light to burn all the empires_ – Bella – empire, as in kingdom or home; about how Victoria is the light that will destroy her home

_So that the sun is ashamed to rise and be_ – Bella – on how she was afraid to step up and help Edward against Victoria in that fight; she's the 'sun'

_In love with all of these vampires_ – Bella – Bella about the Cullens

_So you can leave like the sane abandoned me_ – Victoria – about Victoria's changing Bella in the to protect her relationship with James (the sane abandoned her)

(Stanza Two)

_There's a place in the dark_ – Bella – Bella about the darkness that she's lived in for so long without the Cullens

_Where the animals go_ – Edward – Edward referring to where they're going to hunt when they go together

_You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow_ – Bella – Bella viciously snarling at Victoria in their final facedown (basically, 'go kill yourself you monster' is my rough translation of the literal lyrics)

_Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands_ – no POV – about Bella and her love for Edward

_Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo_ – no POV – about Edward's thoughts as he faces off against Victoria, thinking she might possibly get to Bella despite his determination to prevent that

* * *

_**AddieW—Helpful Information Regarding Sign Language**_

This is a message from the wonderful AddieW who was kind enough to give my lazy butt some information on sign language and the like. I thought that you all might like to know the truth, instead of my warped and mostly self-serving, self-drawn conclusions. I did not change the parts of my story that this information conflicts with due to the necessity for the plot, so those were left alone with entirely intentional purposes.

I found the information extremely interesting and I loved learning a bit more about this subject. So, here you all go—educate yourselves!

_I am a sign language interpreter student, and, predictably, I am fascinated by anything having to do with sign language…Bella would have an interpreter in school. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) requires that deaf students have an interpreter in a mainstreamed setting. It would be illegal for Forks High to NOT provide an interpreter for her…She would have to have an interpreter. The only reason they would have to have a special program for her, and thus deny her the opportunity to be in the advanced classes, would be if she honestly did not understand what they were teaching. They could not deny her the opportunity to be in those classes merely based on the fact that she cannot hear.  
_

_Another thing…is that sign language is NOT the same as it was in the 1800's. It has definitely changed. Signs have changed a ton…The sign language Bella uses today would not be the same as she used as a human. Not at all. There would be similarities, yes, but not a lot. It would be almost like learning a new language._

_Then the other thing, and this is a common misconception among anyone who isn't familiar with sign language...there isn't just one sign language in America. There is American Sign Language. It is a language all its own and has a distinct grammatical pattern. For example, "You need to get a horse," could be signed, "YOU HORSE BUY MUST." That's just a simple example of the subject object verb (imperative) word order in true ASL. There are other accepted word orders, none of which are the same as English unless you're doing it for emphasis. Then there are the different English codes that are mistaken for true ASL. These can use ASL signs (such as Conceptually Accurate Signed English, or CASE signing) or use entirely different signs (such as SEE 1 and SEE 2, one of which uses how syllables sound to make parts of words... for example, carpet is signed by using the sign car and the sign for pet... not conceptually accurate at all!) and none are their own true language. They are merely a way to express English and are used to "help" teach English, but are usually not very successful. Bella would probably know ASL. She would have been learning before the push for English codes began…_

_Oh, then the other thing…is that it's virtually impossible to sign ASL and speak English at the same time. You'd go nuts. But I guess even if Bella knows ASL then her family could be using CASE signing, which uses ASL signs but English word order, so that wouldn't be so bad and it would be easier for them to learn..._

_One more thing (I just read this today in my textbook) you can only get about 20% of conversation when reading lips. Though since Bella is a vampire, maybe she'll get more with her enhanced senses?_

(The last theory above is what I theorized as evidence for how Bella can read lips so well, by the way). Again, I would like to thank AddieW for the information!

* * *

**_NotAfraid—A (True) Theory Regarding HNE_**

My review from dear wonderful NotAfraid (aka Nicole) is in the _italicized_ writing, and I have my own plain-typed additions to her comments below that.

_"You always made a point of Bella describing her eerily precise sense of touch that she used as her tool for survival. And when they both discovered they could communicate via touch, it got my wheels turning. And when I was reading early on in this chapter the internal dialogue between B and E in regards to her dress, another thought occurred to me. As we all know, Edward is able to hear other people's thoughts. And we also know he has the best hearing there is from being a vampire. What if, because Bella has no way of communicating, her gift is the ability to project via touch her voice to others but with one catch: no other vampire she has come across in her many travels has ever been able to hear another person's thoughts such as Edward. And therefore, using her heightened sense of touch (an enhanced defense she carried over from being a deaf and mute human), no one was able to hear the thoughts running through her mind."_

Bella's heightened sense of touch serves a dual purpose: she can project her thoughts through her fingers (she signs with her hands, therefore 'speaks' through them: why not allow her thoughts the same privilege?) and the extra sensitive fingers can 'scan' her surroundings, taking in information. It's like a sixth sense, in a way, which works two ways: both transmitting and receiving information. The only problem is, like you said, that no one else can transmit information to her (except Edward) and therefore no one else can receive the information, either (again, except for Edward). 'Scanning' her surroundings is the sensitive fingers receiving information from the wilderness around her. She's like a radio transmitter, set to a specific channel that no person can seem to get on—but all of nature can, because nature exists in a way that cannot be completely altered by human wants or needs. Living beings in nature exist and thrive, finding ways to survive despite the worst of human abuse (That was a big metaphoric connection to me: Bella survived despite Victoria's torture, her change into a vampire, and her long existence alone and struggling without human contact). Bella is a survivor; the way nature will always push back against abuse.

_"Once meeting Edward though, we discover he still cannot hear her thoughts. And why might that be? All her life, as both mortal and immortal, she has lived in nothing but silence. Not remembering (at least this far in the story, that is) anything of her human life, all she has ever known is what she has discovered herself. The world was truly her own; she lived on almost a different plane than anyone else to have existed since the first human was born. An alternate reality one might say. Edward is unable to hear her because her brain truly is her own. It is all that she knows and has ever known. Centuries of solitude and endless wandering coupled with the constant desire of blood and the need to survive had almost altered her brain in the sense that Edward's couldn't, in a basic sense, intercept any thoughts. As it was first suggested in Twilight, Bella's brain runs on FM vs. AM."_

Edward's inability to hear her is because she is in a world truly her own. Her solitude and her mind, which works differently from other minds and is so in tune with the natural world, has left her with the shield that can only be penetrated when her extra-sensitive sixth sense (her fingers, being the sensory organ of that sense) has direct contact with another person who is open to receiving different signals. Metaphorically speaking, she's a unique radio that has very specific connection requirements, and Edward is a radio that can connect to any device and happens to have the right requirements for Bella.

_"And therein lies the greatest gift two people can offer each other: the ability to truly complete one another. It shows, on a deep, unknown level of true and undeniable fate, that Bella and Edward were meant for each other. Without the perfect combination of Bella's gifts of touch & thought projection and Edward's ability to hear the thoughts of others, both would essentially remain half a soul. What a faerie tale magic instance of soulmates. They worked like puzzle pieces in a two-piece puzzle, as corny as that sounds."_

And there lies the 'fate' and 'destiny' part of my belief that Bella and Edward are truly meant for each other. What better way to show that they are supposed to be together than certain traits and abilities, which allow them to connect on a level that no one else can?

And so, Nicole/NotAfraid, this is why you so absolutely rock for figuring it all out!

* * *

_**Final Author's Note**_

_I suppose that after everything that I gave you already, there's not much more that I can say here besides that I truly and absolutely appreciate every letter you all have typed to me in your reviews. Whether you had a disagreement with the story, or really enjoyed it, I do appreciate every second that you put into reading it as well. _

_For the year and nine months that I put into this story, I could not have had more support from all of you, and that means a lot to me. I love that you all loved the story. I'm glad that I captured your interest, and was thus able to share something that I loved with all of you. _

_Wow, I am getting so sentimental, aren't I? _

_I even considered holding off this update until March 20__th__—my birthday—for the sake of sentimentality. I was afraid that my computer would crash and you'd be denied, however, so I'm throwing it out into the world now. _

_I would reply to each and every one of you, but there are just too many for me to do so. And I wish that I had been able to reply to every review I received, but I had virtually no time. I'm almost glad that I'm done, if only because now I have more time for so much more. I even have another story in progress—it's not posted as of now, but I'm close. I'll get there. _

_I suppose that the most I can do now is tell you in a blanket-review-reply that, again, I appreciate every one of you. Thank you all so much. _

_I'll be seeing you around the site, ladies and gentlemen! _

_Thanks for reading "Hear No Evil!"_

BlueSea14


	24. Sept 23 2009

_**September 23, 2009**_

I have an exciting message to all of the fans of this story. Another fan, When Twilight Falls, and I have been talking a little recently. She has started to translate this story into Spanish. Check it out if you want! Here's the spaced-out link (remove all spaces and include correct symbols in their proper places, of course). It is under the same exact title as mine.

http : / / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / s / 5396968 / 1 /

Fan requests are always very exciting. I know a fan of my story _Sunrise_ designed a bookcover and sent me the link. If any of you have similar fanart or fan requests, don't hesitate to ask. I am so flattered by everyone who does something like this, and I would love to know about it!

Thank you, my faithful readers. Hearts and hugs to all of you!

BlueSea14


	25. April 2010

_**March 19, 2010**_

I have yet another message to all you wonderful people who read this story. Another fan, mehek18, contacted me with a very generous offer to create a banner for this story. She made two of them, both absolutely beautiful.

The links to them are at the bottom of my profile page, but here are the spaced-out ones. Remember to remove all spaces and (dot)s.

http:// bit(dot)ly/ buR54B

http:// bit(dot)ly/ 9FUQWP

Fan requests are always very exciting. I had no idea that any of my work would become so popular, and I'm constantly amazed at the kind reviews that all of you leave for me. I'm also always surprised by the kind readers who offer to share their artistic talents with the purpose of helping promote mine. If any of you have similar fanart or fan requests, don't hesitate to ask. I am so flattered by everyone who does something like this; I appreciate all of you so much!

Thank you all! Hearts and hugs!

BlueSea14

_**March-April 2010**_

mehek18 created more! As usual, remove spaces and (dot) s.

http:// bit(dot)ly/ aKm98N

http:// bit(dot)ly/ aYY12J

_**April 9, 2010**_

mehek18 recently contacted me to let me know that the original place where these banners were located had been changed. The new links are right there in place of the old ones. :)


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